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SHOCKING MEADOWS 1/6 TEXTS WILL BLOW YOUR MIND
Patrick Scullin · Mark “The Turd” Meadows helping with Trump’s planned coup attempt.When Mark Meadows shared over 9,000 pages of documents to the House select committee probing the Capitol assault, he had no idea what a treasure trove of trouble he’d unleashed. · Many of the texts have already bee ...
TRUMP BRAGS, “TWO IMPEACHMENTS PROVE I’M THE BEST AT BEING WORST PRESIDENT!”
Patrick Scullin · Today President Donald J. Trump made history as he became the first president in U.S. history to be impeached twice. · “It’s an incredible achievement,” Trump told the The Lint Screen. “No one has ever seen a worse president than me. My first impeachment was for extorting a forei ...
SECOND GRADERS AGREE TRUMP WAS CHEATED OUT OF ELECTION VICTORY
Patrick Scullin · President Donald J. Trump has been complaining about losing the presidential election for over a month. Most Republican voters agree that he was cheated, but what do younger Americans think? · The Lint Screen wanted to find out, so we conducted interviews with young people across ...
PREZ SEZ HE’S 110%: “I KICKED COVID’S ASS, I AM SUPERMAN”
Patrick Scullin · FDR was dead wrong. According to President Donald J. Trump, it’s not fear we have to fear, but fear of coronavirus. The most powerful man in the world tells The Lint Screen, “We have nothing to fear but COVID-19 itself.” · Trump discharged himself from Walter Reed National Milita ...
"Send Your Kids to School. You can always make more," Say Pences
Patrick Scullin · Mike and Karen "Mother" Pence are all about family and Christian values. So naturally, they know the importance of education in a child's life. · "I like to say education is the key that unlocks many doors," the Veep told The Lint Screen. "That's why I think it's so important all ...
TRUMP HIRES DAVID COPPERFIELD “TO MAKE CORONAVIRUS DISAPPEAR”
Patrick Scullin · Perhaps the greatest trait of President Donald J. Trump is his decisive leadership. And today, and he showed that skill again. · The president secured the services of world-renowned magician David Copperfield to address the raging COVID-19 global pandemic. · “I’ve been saying for ...
POMPEO BLAMES U.S. INTELLIGENCE FOR RUSSIA BOUNTY MISCOMMUNICATION
Patrick Scullin · Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is known as one of the staunchest supporters of President Donald Trump, and he has come to the defense of the imbecile-in-chief. · “If the intelligence departments had information about Russia putting bounties on our troops,” Pompeo told The Lint Sc ...
FLYNN DECLARES “THE DIRTY G-MEN WILL NEVER GET ME”
Patrick Scullin · Michael Flynn, President Donald Trump’s former national security adviser, is a happy man. Yesterday, a U.S. appeals court directed a federal judge to drop a criminal case against him for lying to the FBI. · “They got bupkis,” Flynn told The Lint Screen. “Those dirty coppers trie ...
God Tells Trump To Go To Hell
Patrick Scullin · Almighty God doesn't usually give interviews. He lets his actions and "natural disasters" speak. But last night, He reached out to The Lint Screen in an exclusive interview. · "I'm a pretty mellow Guy," God said. "But I've had My fill of that horse's ass Donald Trump. What kind o ...
JARED PUT IN CHARGE OF RACE RELATIONS IN AMERICA
Patrick Scullin · Donald Trump is disturbed by some of the images he has seen on cable news. · “It looks like some people are upset,” the president, sequestered in his fortified bunker deep beneath the White House, told The Lint Screen. “I don’t know how anyone could be unhappy. I’ve been doing a ...
PREZ RECALLS “TREMENDOUS HEARTBREAK” OF MISSED HOLE-IN-ONE
Patrick Scullin · This Memorial Day weekend, as COVID-19 ravages America, and people remember fallen heroes and those who bravely fought for our freedom, President Donald J. Trump grappled with his troubles–– the one that might have been. · Trump, who made America great again and has been its grea ...
TRUMP DEMANDS AMERICANS WORSHIP HIM THIS WEEKEND
Patrick Scullin · President Donald Trump has been called The Chosen One, and like Moses returning from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments, he has decreed it is time his people return to places of worship. · “We can’t allow this pandemic cause us to lose our faith,” Trump told The Lint Screen. “ ...
Barr Declares "Friend of The President" Law
Patrick Scullin · Atty. General William Barr knows his justice, and he also knows which cheek of the president's ample ass is buttered. · Today, Barr declared a new law he's written "offering complete immunity from American laws to friends, family, and associates of Donald J. Trump." · "The presi ...
New Coronavirus Task Force Member Announced
Patrick Scullin · If anyone knows how to create drama, it's President Donald J. Trump. The man who made The Apprentice the most popular TV show in history has decided to shake things up with the cast on The White House Cornanvirus Task Force. · "We've had the highest ratings ever," the president t ...
Kush Calls People Afraid To Work "Un-American Cowardly Chickens"
Patrick Scullin · Jared Kushner is disgusted. He is livid some "unpatriotic Americans" are not supporting his father-in-law. · "The president has done an incredible job," Ivanka's husband told The Lint Screen. "He has been laser-focused on the pandemic for years and he has assembled a team of the ...
Trump Defends Disinfectant Claim; Sees Hope In Rat Poison Cure
Patrick Scullin · A global pandemic might rattle some leaders, but fortunately, the United States of America has a stable genius as the helm. · At yesterday's press briefing, President Donald Trump was ridiculed by the lamestream media for his revolutionary idea that injecting disinfectants could ...
Kemp Opens Chain of Funeral Homes, Sees Big Opportunity
Patrick Scullin · Before he became Georgia's governor, Brian Kemp was a successful businessman making money in agribusiness, financial services, and real estate. Now he has set his astute business mind to a new industry–– death! · Kemp came to The Lint Screen offices to discuss his new business v ...
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