#lintscreen

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4 months ago

SHOCKING MEADOWS 1/6 TEXTS WILL BLOW YOUR MIND

PD Scullin · Mark “The Turd” Meadows helping with Trump’s planned coup attempt.When Mark Meadows shared over 9,000 pages of documents to the House select committee probing the Capitol assault, he had no idea what a treasure trove of trouble he’d unleashed. · Many of the texts have already bee ...

1 year ago

TRUMP BRAGS, “TWO IMPEACHMENTS PROVE I’M THE BEST AT BEING WORST PRESIDENT!”

PD Scullin · Today President Donald J. Trump made history as he became the first president in U.S. history to be impeached twice. · “It’s an incredible achievement,” Trump told the The Lint Screen. “No one has ever seen a worse president than me. My first impeachment was for extorting a forei ...

1 year ago

SECOND GRADERS AGREE TRUMP WAS CHEATED OUT OF ELECTION VICTORY

PD Scullin · President Donald J. Trump has been complaining about losing the presidential election for over a month. Most Republican voters agree that he was cheated, but what do younger Americans think? · The Lint Screen wanted to find out, so we conducted interviews with young people across ...

1 year ago

PREZ SEZ HE’S 110%: “I KICKED COVID’S ASS, I AM SUPERMAN”

PD Scullin · FDR was dead wrong. According to President Donald J. Trump, it’s not fear we have to fear, but fear of coronavirus. The most powerful man in the world tells The Lint Screen, “We have nothing to fear but COVID-19 itself.” · Trump discharged himself from Walter Reed National Milita ...

1 year ago

"Send Your Kids to School. You can always make more," Say Pences

PD Scullin · Mike and Karen "Mother" Pence are all about family and Christian values. So naturally, they know the importance of education in a child's life. · "I like to say education is the key that unlocks many doors," the Veep told The Lint Screen. "That's why I think it's so important all ...

1 year ago

TRUMP HIRES DAVID COPPERFIELD “TO MAKE CORONAVIRUS DISAPPEAR”

PD Scullin · Perhaps the greatest trait of President Donald J. Trump is his decisive leadership. And today, and he showed that skill again. · The president secured the services of world-renowned magician David Copperfield to address the raging COVID-19 global pandemic. · “I’ve been saying for ...

1 year ago

POMPEO BLAMES U.S. INTELLIGENCE FOR RUSSIA BOUNTY MISCOMMUNICATION

PD Scullin · Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is known as one of the staunchest supporters of President Donald Trump, and he has come to the defense of the imbecile-in-chief. · “If the intelligence departments had information about Russia putting bounties on our troops,” Pompeo told The Lint Sc ...

1 year ago

FLYNN DECLARES “THE DIRTY G-MEN WILL NEVER GET ME”

PD Scullin · Michael Flynn,  President Donald Trump’s former national security adviser, is a happy man. Yesterday, a U.S. appeals court directed a federal judge to drop a criminal case against him for lying to the FBI. · “They got bupkis,” Flynn told The Lint Screen. “Those dirty coppers trie ...

1 year ago

God Tells Trump To Go To Hell

PD Scullin · Almighty God doesn't usually give interviews. He lets his actions and "natural disasters" speak. But last night, He reached out to The Lint Screen in an exclusive interview. · "I'm a pretty mellow Guy," God said. "But I've had My fill of that horse's ass Donald Trump. What kind o ...

1 year ago

JARED PUT IN CHARGE OF RACE RELATIONS IN AMERICA

PD Scullin · Donald Trump is disturbed by some of the images he has seen on cable news. · “It looks like some people are upset,” the president, sequestered in his fortified bunker deep beneath the White House, told The Lint Screen. “I don’t know how anyone could be unhappy. I’ve been doing a ...

1 year ago

PREZ RECALLS “TREMENDOUS HEARTBREAK” OF MISSED HOLE-IN-ONE

PD Scullin · This Memorial Day weekend, as COVID-19 ravages America, and people remember fallen heroes and those who bravely fought for our freedom, President Donald J. Trump grappled with his troubles–– the one that might have been. · Trump, who made America great again and has been its grea ...

1 year ago

TRUMP DEMANDS AMERICANS WORSHIP HIM THIS WEEKEND

PD Scullin · President Donald Trump has been called The Chosen One, and like Moses returning from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments, he has decreed it is time his people return to places of worship. · “We can’t allow this pandemic cause us to lose our faith,” Trump told The Lint Screen. “ ...

2 years ago

Barr Declares "Friend of The President" Law

PD Scullin · Atty. General William Barr knows his justice, and he also knows which cheek of the president's ample ass is buttered. · Today, Barr declared a new law he's written "offering complete immunity from American laws to friends, family, and associates of Donald J. Trump." · "The presi ...

2 years ago

New Coronavirus Task Force Member Announced

PD Scullin · If anyone knows how to create drama, it's President Donald J. Trump. The man who made The Apprentice the most popular TV show in history has decided to shake things up with the cast on The White House Cornanvirus Task Force. · "We've had the highest ratings ever," the president t ...

2 years ago

Kush Calls People Afraid To Work "Un-American Cowardly Chickens"

PD Scullin · Jared Kushner is disgusted. He is livid some "unpatriotic Americans" are not supporting his father-in-law. · "The president has done an incredible job," Ivanka's husband told The Lint Screen. "He has been laser-focused on the pandemic for years and he has assembled a team of the ...

2 years ago

Trump Defends Disinfectant Claim; Sees Hope In Rat Poison Cure

PD Scullin · A global pandemic might rattle some leaders, but fortunately, the United States of America has a stable genius as the helm. · At yesterday's press briefing, President Donald Trump was ridiculed by the lamestream media for his revolutionary idea that injecting disinfectants could ...

2 years ago

Kemp Opens Chain of Funeral Homes, Sees Big Opportunity

PD Scullin · Before he became Georgia's governor, Brian Kemp was a successful businessman making money in agribusiness,  financial services, and real estate. Now he has set his astute business mind to a new industry–– death! · Kemp came to The Lint Screen offices to discuss his new business v ...

2 years ago

Jared Wants All Americans To Be Proud of USA's Stockpile

PD Scullin · Anyone who says Jared Kushner is a cold-hearted prick who would be nowhere without nepotism, a silver spoon in his mouth, and the stick up his ass doesn't understand this complex man. · The president's son-in-law sat down in the offices of The Lint Screen and talked about his man ...

2 years ago

Loeffler Says Pandemic "Offers Incredible Investment Opportunities"

PD Scullin · Senator Kelly Loeffler of Georgia is a true blue capitalist, and because she is, she's smart enough to take advantage of a prime opportunity to make a buck. · On January 24, she participated in a private, all-senators meeting on the novel coronavirus. · "What I heard was was abs ...

2 years ago

DeSantis Not Worried–– "Florida Doesn't Have Many Seniors"

PD Scullin · Many people questioned the wisdom of Florida’s Governor Ron DeSantis’s decision to keep beaches, bars, and restaurants open during spring break during a global pandemic. · Now, as the cases of COVID-19 and deaths begin to skyrocket nationwide, DeSantis still isn’t doing much abou ...

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