The Cascade Effect
He’s young, not yet 25. Over the weeks as he has coached me in the gym he’s become more relaxed with me, relaxed enough to share some troubled thoughts.
I’ve forgotten what triggered the mental withdraw and a pained expression on his face. His reaction was strong enough that I climbed down off a leg machine, toweled off, and walked with him back to the office because he indicated a need for more privacy.
It’s scary.
“I’m not sure.” he said when I asked what was going on. “Lately I seem to be more touched by things. Somebody will say something and all these connections start piling up in my mind. Dinosaurs makes me wonder about all the different types and kid’s toys and think they aren’t for real and the movie guys made them up. I get wrapped up in these tangled streams of stuff and asking questions like when the water guy came in and checked stuff and told me about how there were different systems for fire and regular. I never knew that.”
Panic.
“Nothing wrong with being curious,” I said.
“Not like this. I can’t control it. It runs on and on and I can’t seem to control it. Some other part of me panics. What if I can’t stop it? What if I’m going crazy? And then I feel like I’ve had a revelation and I want to share it with everyone, but I don’t know how and that’s frustrating and scary like before but even more!”
Revelations
“I see things in my mind. Connections that weren’t there before. A comment from one of the other coaches will kick it into gear and I’ll begin to see how a mention links up with something a manager did or said. And that hooks up with something else and suddenly I understand actions I didn’t before. It’s like I’m not fast enough to see this stuff when it’s happening but the pieces of the puzzle fall together when this connection thing starts.”
A new experience
“Nothing like this happened to me growin’ up.” I never had to worry about anything. I just sort of cruised along minding my own business and staying out of trouble. I did okay in school but I was never the class brain. I got into drinking and pot for a while but since I started working here I feel like I get a better high from working out.”
The tri-part brain
I suggested that what was going on was the normal male maturation process and that he was going through a part which young men sooner or later have happen to them. He was not familiar with how the brain is structured/organized with the most ancient part still in control of the fight or flight reaction, the amyglada using emotions to make decisions even when the logical brain strings together a different answer.
The Children’s Library
“Seems to me, I said, “It’s scary because you haven’t had to deal with it before. Try focusing on just one part of the stuff cascading in your mind. Don’t be afraid of it. Yes, you may get some stuff connected that isn’t accurate. You may get some wires crossed. But by focusing on one part you will learn more about yourself and that subject than you may have ever known. If you get really interested you might study about it.
Take that dinosaur thing for instance. Look it up. Go to the library and use a trick I’ve found is really helpful: ask the Children’s librarian for a fact-based book on the subject you are interested in. That will get you the basics in understandable form. After that you can step up to more and more complex books.
Go with the flow
All of us mature at different rates. All of us build our memory banks in random increments. The path each of us takes varies from others. On occasion the path plummets splattering connections in all directions. When that happens, I suggest you select one rivulet and go with the flow.
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His consulting practice, founded in 1990, is known for Trust-based Brand development, Positioning and business development for independent professionals on and off-line.
Consulting: www.JerryFletcher.com
Speaking: www.NetworkingNinja.com
DIY Training: www.ingomu.com
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Comments
Jerry Fletcher
4 years ago #10
Bill, Thanks for the support. This is not a task I am built for but like you, I find myself in it and will do my best to help
Jerry Fletcher
4 years ago #9
Ian, I'm planning a conversation with him on Monday to suggest speaking to a professional friend. I first wanted to get my friend's take and determine if he was the right person to recommend. this is definitely above my pay grade!
Jerry Fletcher
4 years ago #8
Ken, I like your chocolate bar analogy. Paint store to get thinner...AAArggh! ( I put on a pound this week. Maybe it's muscle?)
Bill Stankiewicz
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Ian Weinberg
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Mohammed Abdul Jawad
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Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
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Ken Boddie
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