The truth about being nice

Our actions are ours; we act as we choose in the moment and most actions are reflexive. Those actions are based on how we feel and how we interpret the situation and most importantly our habits. When we choose to interpret our actions we interpret those actions through a filter of our self perception. This is not to say that we might not also have the interest of others in mind as well. But the facts are that self perception is involved in some manner; we judge ourselves by our personal standards. We will tend to interpret our actions as nice if we believe we are nice.

Back to the question at hand that you might be asking, can we be nice and not be seen as nice? The simple answer is yes. Being nice is highly influenced by our motivation. If it is our desire to improve another person’s day then the action was nice even if it did not come out or result in being interpreted as nice. Okay that statement was based off of a lot of cultural assumptions, many of which we honestly are not able to make, which is in itself the problem we have with being nice. What I believe is nice verse what you believe is nice. Those two beliefs may not be the same.

The idea of being nice starts with our motivation, not our predetermined understanding of the outcome but it is always judged by the outcome. True we desire to achieve the outcome we imagine, but any outcome is based off of much more than our actions or words. A nice word can warm a heart and a kind gesture can lift a head except when misunderstood by those surrounding us. The truth about being nice is that it can be a lot of work without bearing the fruit we might desire but it is always better than being, let’s simply say, not nice.

Blessings