Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago · 5 min. reading time · visibility ~10 ·

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Regrets and Unopened Doors

“There are two ways to be fooled. One.is to
LEAT AN A UTA

TSO TTT EE (TT ()
Kierkegaard

Some REGRETS are like grains of sand .. others upon a mountain stand

The moment to change your mind has long-slipped through your hands

Decisions made in haste are destined to produce waste.


 You believed the wrong things

Now your heart refuses to sing
 

Might your relationship have been saved?

If all the brokenness could had been unpaved
 

Did you .. the wrong message send?

When you might have helped a friend
 

Instead of work you chose play

Now your debts won’t go away


 Did you choose .. the wrong spouse?

.. the wrong friends .. the wrong house

.. the wrong work .. the wrong blouse


You said the wrong things & much pain that did bring

You hurt someone’s heart & it’s tearing them apart

You yelled at a child when you could have smiled

You missed your plane & your children’s games

Along the road of life .. you drove too fast

And therefore, into walls you crashed
 

When your DREAMS fade away

REGRETS will have their way

 

A story told by The Buddha 

“A young widower, who loved his five year old son very much, was away on business when bandits came and burned down the whole village and took his son away. When the man returned, he saw the ruins and panicked. He took the burnt corpse of an infant to be his son and cried uncontrollably. He organized a cremation ceremony, collected the ashes and put them in a beautiful little bag which he always kept with him.

Soon afterwards, his real son escaped from the bandits and found his way home. He arrived at his father’s new cottage at midnight and knocked at the door. The father, still grieving, asked: “Who is it?” The child answered, “It is me, papa, open the door!” But in his agitated state of mind, convinced his son was dead, the father thought that some young boy was making fun of him. He shouted: “Go away” and continued to cry. After some time, the child left. The father and son never saw each other again.”

After this story, the Buddha said: 

If you cling to an idea as the unalterable truth,
then when the truth does come in person
and knocks on your door, you will not be able
to open the door and accept it. - “ The Buddha

 

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what is not true.

The other is to refuse to believe what is true.” Soren Kierkegaard
 

The Buddha took me to another door that involved Truth.

Many years ago, I bought in an antique shop a small painting by Holman Hunt. It is of Christ standing in front of a door.

“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him” - Revelation 3

Picture in your mind ..

Jesus, the Light of the World, stands at a door, which is overgrown with ivy and weeds: this represents a life overwhelmed. Busy. Distracted. Stressed.

The door clearly represents the door of someone’s life. Jesus is standing at the door and knocking. He is awaiting a response.

He wants to come in and be part of that person’s life. Be part of your life.

What is noteworthy in this painting is that there is no handle on the door. The person inside must choose to open the door .. choose to invite Him in. Into their life .. into their heart.

What a painful regret to come to the realization that Truth came knocking but you did not answer the door. 

Christ is used to being rejected .. being ignored .. being denied. But still, He knocks.
 

Some “regrets” can be mended .. while others have eternal consequences.
 

“Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.” - C.S. Lewis 

“There is a vast difference between what you long for .. what you settle for .. and what you are meant for.” - unknown

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have & the decisions we waited too long to make.” - Lewis Carroll

“There’s not a day  goes by I don’t feel regret. Not because I’m in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone and this old man is all that’s left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It’s just a bullshit word. So you can go and stamp your form, Sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit.” - Red in Shawshank Redemption 
 

What causes REGRET

.. Pride

.. Unbelief

.. A dull-spirit

.. A hard-heart

.. Closed-eyes

.. Willful ignorance

.. Spiritual blindness

.. A closed “obstinately shut mind”  


I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up

Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know
 

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe 
What You say of me 
I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity

Taking all I have, and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure, God, You have every victory
 

What You say of me .. I believe 


March 26th 2021 
 

This post is to the honor of Alan Geller - and his "Project X experiment" .. Subject: Regret 

This is my “in the Light” reflection to Alan’s invitation to “share an interlude” .. offer a "different perspective."

Respond to the: "AFTER DARK is a state of mind; where we investigate and exhibit different perspectives"

“In the Light” is also a “state of mind”
 



References:

Lauren Daigle - album "Look up child"
 


 

"Closed-eyes & Hard-hearts"
 

https://www.bebee.com/producer/@fay-vietmeier-pennsylvania/closed-eyes-hard-hearts

https://drawingontheword.com/revelation-3v20-jesus-knocking-on-door/

According to Hunt:

"I painted the picture with what I thought, unworthy though I was, to be divine command, and not simply a good subject." The door in the painting has no handle, and can therefore be opened only from the inside, representing "the obstinately shut mind".

https://www.sermonillustrator.org/illustrator/sermon2a/handle">https://www.sermonillustrator.org/illustrator/sermon2a/handle">https://www.sermonillustrator.org/illustrator/sermon2a/handle's_on_the_other_side.htm">https://www.sermonillustrator.org/illustrator/sermon2a/handle's_on_the_other_side.htm

Regrets .. mistakes & missed opportunities 

https://medium.com/@fatima.kamyana/regrets-9347fd2ad478
 

"In His Light" .. I write

All rights reserved:  Fay Marmalich-Vietmeier 

If my words make you think … Great ;~)

As “iron-sharpens-iron” … I enjoy bantering with other BEES … please know, your feedback is as “honey”

A glimpse of the “Bee” called “me” ;~)

My caring nature makes me an advocate. My curious nature makes me a “queen of questions” … but gifted with the ability to listen ;~) I am a woman of deep faith, a blessed mother, a voracious reader, a blossoming writer, a grateful person, and a lover of beauty … I treasure family, true friendships and my loyal clients ... enjoy traveling, learning, good movies, good wine and golf. I’m a “heart-to-heart” communicator.

https://www.bebee.com/@fay-vietmeier-pennsylvania

https://www.linkedin.com/in/faymarmalichvietmeier/detail/recent-activity/

https://twitter.com/femvietmeier

https://www.facebook.com/fayemv


 

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Comments
Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

5 months ago #40

💛💛💛@Javier 🐝 CR 

Multiplied thanks Javier 

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

5 months ago #39

💛💛@Javier 🐝 CR 

Multiplied thanks Javier 

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #38

Myriam Salem I hope all is well in your corner of the world Myriam

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #37

#34
Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador Multiplied thanks Franci "Stunning post" .. you encourage me ;~) "Hopefully, we learn from making poor choices and become better people because of our misgivings" May it be ..

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #36

#32
Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic I'm always uplifted when you visit .. comment Lada ;~) True what you say: "We learn from our failures and things we shouldn't have done. That's life." Some find this path of learning .. others not. I do remember you are not a "fan" of quotes .. like to see the context .. which is a my Irish friend, Ellie would say "rightly-ordered" I love finding the right quote .. the relevant quote to drive home or affirm my point. Why reinvent wisdom or relevance when another said it so well ;~)

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #35

#30
John Rylance Your insight about being at deaths door is so relevant John If you can't find peace .. be honest in your knowing last days .. hours Then probably never will Though being before God .. it will be inescapable "Regrets .. I've had a few" We all have them my friend ;~) A "few" could fill a puddle .. for some For others .. an ocean

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Stunning post Fay Vietmeier! Hopefully, we learn from making poor choices and become better people because of our misgivings.

Nick Mlatchkov

Nick Mlatchkov

6 months ago #33

Fay, it seems u live in the battlefield state of the Nov 20, elections ...

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

6 months ago #32

I like a lot your opening poem, Fay. My opinion is that making the wrong choices, "the wrong spouse.. the wrong friends .. the wrong house .. the wrong work" is all part of being human. We learn from our failures and things we shouldn't have done. That's life. I am not a fan of citing quotes from the Internet, but this quote is more than appropriate, "I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done in life, any choice that I’ve made. But I’m consumed with regret for the things I didn’t do, the choices I didn’t make, the things I didn’t say."

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

6 months ago #31

I like a lot your opening poem, Fay. My opinion is that making the wrong choices, "the wrong spouse.. the wrong friends .. the wrong house .. the wrong work" is all part of being human. We learn from our failures and things we shouldn't have done, but that's life. I am not a fan of citing quotes from the Internet, but this quote is more than appropriate, "I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done in life, any choice that I’ve made. But I’m consumed with regret for the things I didn’t do, the choices I didn’t make, the things I didn’t say."

John Rylance

John Rylance

6 months ago #30

I think that the value to both the dying person and their nearest and dearest of end of life palliative care is under estimated. Bronnie's book portrays as much as anything the possibilities of a a good peaceful death, if we can accept such a thing exists. To quote My Way regrets Ive had a few, but I intend to address as many of the five as I can, while Im still able.#29 Fay

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #29

#21
John Rylance Your insight is so important John It reminds me that not until the very end of life do people find that ability to look inward Wish they had reordered their priorities earlier in life Thank you for sharing this resource .. perhaps there is someone who at this moment will find it helpful" Book by Bronnie Ware, who works in palliative care, and is a series of discussions she has had with those in the last hours of their lives. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying A life transformed by the Dearly Departed Here are the 5 regrets 1) I wish Id had the courage to live a life true to myself,not the life others expected of me 2) I wish I hadn't worked so hard 3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings 4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends 5. I wish I let myself be happier.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #28

#20
Farooq Omar First nice to see you here as a "bee" .. Thank you for your words "Magnificent lines .. bewildering!" "Lament" is to feel loss .. sorrow .. regret As you say "Lament can cause us to feel an unrelenting sharpness like no other feeling .. .. when ever left uncontrolled it can unleash destruction on an individual" I just commented to @Pascal Derrien & Harvey Lloyd In the class room of life, we are all students. The question is what is the caliber of the student ....... (do we know our own “faulty heart”?) And Who are the teachers? Some regrets can produce pain Pain can be a refining fire .. can cause change (in the heart .. in the mind) Or It can make people bitter. In the end .. "it’s Wisdom or Woe" “God is working with a broken people” Do people understand their broken condition? Do they answer the door & meet Grace .. choose the path to the One who brings healing & wholeness? This “Grace” is priceless. .. the price cannot be calculated by human wisdom Discernment is priceless. No one can buy discernment (the warehouses of Amazon are empty) However, there is a Source of gaining wisdom which grows into discernment There is only One Source .. Almighty God He graciously offers this priceless gift .. for free .. to any who will turn to Him and ask.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #27

Harvey Lloyd continued Yes: “God is working with a broken people” Do people understand their broken condition? Do they answer the door & meet Grace .. choose the path to the One who brings healing & wholeness? This “Grace” is priceless. .. the price cannot be calculated by human wisdom

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #26

#19
Harvey Lloyd You say with wisdom Harvey “Good and evil exist in our hearts as we sort out the thoughts of knowledge gained. Discerning the difference is what sets Christianity apart.” Discernment is priceless. No one can buy discernment (the warehouses of Amazon are empty) However, there is a Source of gaining wisdom which grows into discernment There is only One Source .. Almighty God He graciously offers this priceless gift .. for free .. to any who will turn to Him and ask. I just commented to Pascal Derrien In the class room of life, we are all students. The question is what is the caliber of the student ....... (do we know our own “faulty heart”?) And Who are the teachers? Some regrets can produce pain Pain can be a refining fire .. can cause change (in the heart .. in the mind) Or It can make people bitter. In the end .. "it’s Wisdom or Woe" Cyndi wilkins (can't remember who said this?)

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #25

#20
Pascal Derrien Thanks Pascal what you say is true: "Regrets, remorse, wrong doings all part of the process of learning of being a better human" In the class room of life we are all students. The question is what is the caliber of the student And Who are the teachers?

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #24

#23
Greg Rolfe Meaningful is your visit here and your comment "spot on .. Beautiful" I shall tuck your encouragement away in my heart ;~) with much gratitude Greg.

Greg Rolfe

Greg Rolfe

6 months ago #23

Hello Fay Vietmeiery. Your opening poem is spot on! Beautiful.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #22

#15
Mohammed Abdul Jawad Mohammed .. your wisdom leads you Multiplied thanks for your reading & comment. Your word: "obstinacy" .. I wonder where it fits below? "Our own obstinacy leaves us in oblivion" .. Pride .. Unbelief .. A dull-spirit .. A hard-heart .. Closed-eyes .. Willful ignorance .. Spiritual blindness .. A closed “obstinately shut mind” I am reminded of this truth in Scripture: "we perish for lack of understanding:

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #21

#14
Debasish Majumder Multiplied thanks Debasish .. for your thoughtful & sweet share I appreciate you ;~)

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

6 months ago #20

Regrets, remorse, wrong doings all part of the process of learning of being a better human I guess

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

6 months ago #19

Post Genesis 3 “regret” is now a part of life. Good and evil exist in our hearts as we sort out the thoughts of knowledge gained. Discerning the difference is what sets Christianity apart. Regret has the opportunity to provide wisdom or inflame some bias we carry. The real choice is there. Knowing our own faulty heart is the first step to realizing that our biases are faulty and that through them we can gain wisdom. Man can attempt to reason their way to this same point or they can answer the door. In the end they will answer the door. In the Old Testament it becomes quite clear that God is working with a broken people. In their walk of abundance they rejected God. In His absence they regretted the act. This cycle is repeated numerous times. Regretting is a part of life but Grace is a part of the blessing. Our opportunity is to find the wisdom within the regret and allow the Grace to bring peace.

Farooq Omar

Farooq Omar

6 months ago #18

Fay Vietmeier, Magnificent lines dear Fay, bewildering! Lament can cause us to feel an unrelenting sharpness like no other feeling. While lament can assist us with trying not to rehash an error whenever left uncontrolled it can unleash destruction on an individual. Hours, days, or weeks spent inclination lament for a previous oversight is generally counterproductive.

John Rylance

John Rylance

6 months ago #17

I seem to have missed out no.5. I wish I let myself be happier. The book shows how therapeutic it is to talk about feelings. The fewer of these and other regrets we have the happier we will be.

John Rylance

John Rylance

6 months ago #16

I have recently been dipping into this book by Bronnie Ware, who works in pallative care, and is a series of discussions she has had with those in the last hours of their lives. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying A life transformed by the Dearly Departed Here are the 5 regrets 1) I wish Id had the courage to live a life true to myself,not the life others expected of me 2) I wish I hadn't worked so hard 3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings 4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends It is possible to read the book on line.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

6 months ago #15

Our own obstinacy leaves us in oblivion And we get drifted with all deviations Whereof commitments bereft of conscience How goes the state of soul that ruminates not Nor becomes regretful and rightly virtuous. ~ Mohammed Abdul Jawad Dear Fay Vietmeier Thanks for sharing this insightful post:)

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

6 months ago #14

wonderful buzz Fay Vietmeier! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #13

Farooq Omar You are the friend I will never "regret"

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #12

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #11

Javier \ud83d\udc1d CR Multiplied thanks Javier .. for your sweet share .. I appreciate you ;~)

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #10

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee My dearest Professor .. your comment fills my heart .. deepens my well. .. "this post moved every muscle in me with appreciation" .. that "muscle" could be your mind & heart .. "You wrote as if your heart were writing it" .. "astonishing" .. "pure admiration" If I can ever get to publishing my anthology of poetry .. I'm going to ask you for a review ;~) If a bee could blush .. I am ;~) I'm SO delighted that you came here to comment. Meaningful to the bee called "me" because I so miss our SWEET - bee banters. I did not tag you here .. because I was going to tag you on LI .. but you made your way here 1st I will confess that my heart did do the writing .. as led by the Spirit. I can't always respond to posts that resonate .. but when Alan did his "Project X" on the subject of regret - quoting C.S. Lewis & Kierkegaard .. I could not put it out of my head. And upon my bed - were lines read .. into my heart .. to be said I hope you check again .. when reading this .. A comment by Laila .. prompted me to add "You say"

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Rarely I am here dear Fay Vietmeier, but I tell you his post moved every muscle in me with appreciation. You wrote as if your heart were writing it. It is super-quality post. Every line has a deep meaning. The selection of words and the rhyming of meaning are astonishing. You believed the wrong things Now your heart refuses to sing Might your relationship have been saved? If all the brokenness could had been unpaved Did you .. the wrong message send? When you might have helped a friend What to say more than pure admiration?

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #8

Joel Anderson I hope all is well with you .. your family .. baby Lena - the "bearer of light" And you are carving out those river walks - for reflections

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

6 months ago #7

Cyndi wilkins Randall Burns Antoine \ud83d\udc1d Prager Savvy Raj Proma \ud83d\udc1d Nautiyal

Fay Vietmeier
Fay Vietmeier

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