Dave Worthen

6 years ago · 5 min. reading time · ~100 ·

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Make the Deal: But Don't Sell Your Sister!

Make the Deal: But Don't Sell Your Sister!

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After four decades of selling I try to educate sales people with what I call the “DNA of Sales.” I often pose some food for thought as to the origin of selling and why do each of us have reactions to selling and being sold?

That being said, I’m  going to offer you a viewpoint. Something you can look and see if it makes sense to you, or you can chuck it overboard if you like.

The Origin of Sell:

I have found when I teach about a subject, that the derivation of the word itself gives incredible insight into the subject. And instead of giving you a lot of dry dictionary language here, I’m going to distill Merriam Webster’s derivation of the origin of the word “sell” into something simple. Because simple is good for your soul. And easy on your sales brain.

The origin of the word “sell” goes back before the year 900. For those of you who were passing cryptic notes to each other in high school to pass a test, that’s when the Vikings were doing their shit. And that’s not the NFL team.

So I want you to get a visual of the Vikings with spears and axes, etc.

The origin of the word sell means “to give, hence, give up (someone) to an enemy, betray, exchange for money.”

Did I say DNA?

Okay, so stay with me on this. I want you to put on your Imagineer Hat right now. Disney did it with a mouse. You can do it with Viking DNA, okay?

Let’s just imagine somewhere in your ancestral roots there’s a strand of this Viking DNA and you gave up someone to the enemy. You betrayed this person. For fucking money. At the time it could have been your sister. And you needed some serious coin and some hides to make it through the winter. Seemed like a “good deal,” yes?

Well okay, that might have been good for Victor the Viking. But what about the other side? You know, let’s say you have the other strand of DNA coursing through your veins? You actually bought the person. You gave your money or deerskin's or whatever for this person. You had to give up something valuable for something of perceived value, yes?

Well, Victor the Viking wants some moola and hides to make it through the winter and he’s feeling a tad guilty about selling his sister. But hey, it was the 9th Century and they didn’t have central heating back then. And if you’re the guy giving up some coin or deerskin's or both, you’re hoping his sister can keep you company in bed and not give you Typhoid.  

Are you feeling the DNA Sales chain rumbling in the depths of your sales soul yet?

See the truth is, that is the derivation of selling. Somewhere it began. You gave up someone. That’s on you and me. We gave up a person in our regiment. Didn’t even have to be family. It was weird. You can almost feel it, if you think about it. And the person buying was also feeling weird. I mean yes, it was done, and Hollywood’s made movies about this kind of thing, but in the heart and soul of every man who’s done it, it never sat right.

Never.

Because in the process of the sale, there was often, (not all the time) betrayal.

And when you and I buy something and that “something” is not as represented, that betrayal DNA strand goes off like a bad day at Chernobyl.

This feeling is much, much bigger than the $500K house we bought with a faulty foundation, or the $20K pool installation that cracked three weeks later during your Memorial Day celebration with your family.

It isn’t the crack in the wall of the pool.

It’s the explosion inside your soul that is being ignited by that strand of DNA that has been sitting there since some ancestor made a bad deal.

Hey. I said this was a viewpoint. You can also chuck it overboard.

But it’s just getting good.

The truth is, there is no one who sells who has not been on the selling or receiving end that hasn’t felt this. Victor the Viking or not. Because in the origin of sales you have this “to give, hence, give up (someone) to an enemy, betray, exchange for money.”

And when you get into the sales process, if you don’t understand the very nature of what is going on in the other guy for real, you will underestimate the power of those primal reactions that have been there long before he ever bought his first pair of school pants at Sears.

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Why This is Important:

When you understand what is going on on the other side with the other fellow, and I mean you truly understand, then you will approach your sales with an entirely different tact.

This one concept has helped me close millions of dollars over my sales career.

If you are preparing your sales presentation with all the tricks and techniques because you’ve studied your prospect and buyer type etc, you’re possibly going to be short a bullet in your chamber.

All your Jedi knowledge from Tom Hopkins, Zig Ziglar, and Neil Rackham will only set off his DNA Sales Alarm. Which by the way, he remembers because as soon as your pitch starts, that first domino in his ancient DNA strand starts it’s clickety-clack domino-effect somewhere deep down in his buyer soul.

Even in his three piece Armani suit, his palms start to sweat because see, there was only one romp in the sack that night. His family tree shows someone’s sister carried the syphilis and the Typhoid virus and Eirik the Viking died after that romp.

And maybe you think this is far fetched, but if you’re in sales, I’ll bet there’s a tremor in the force from your own DNA and this example is not that far fetched at all.

The fact of the matter is selling has it’s roots in an exchange that in different times were moments of life or death.  And when the sale went bad they didn’t just bring back those deerskin hides to Sears Customer Service. They cut your throat in the middle of the night.

If while reading this you have a visceral reaction that’s good, because that is often the same feeling we all get when we are being sold.

And, it’s not that we don’t like being sold or that we don’t like selling. That’s actually a myth that has been generated down through the ages from a fraudulent sales process.

If you’ve ever sold a bike or a TV to a friend and it was a good bike and you enjoyed selling it to your friend, and your friend was all happy as shit because he he got a great bike and a good deal, everyone was happy. You didn’t feel bad about selling, and your friend didn’t feel bad about being sold. Simple.

Sales resistance, sales pitches, sales objections, sales walls, sales patter, are like a tuning fork that often wake up those skeletons rattling somewhere deep down inside on a sale that was not a sale. It looked like, smelled like, and sounded like a sale.

But it was not a sale.

It was in fact, a betrayal.

And that strand of DNA sits just to the side of every sales cycle gone bad from $50 bikes to $550K homes, to a $10.5 million deal with global partners.

If the brakes on that bike are bad or that house has faulty plumbing the price paid is not the ball buster.

It’s that you put your trust in the seller and the product or service, but what you received in exchange was actually not a square deal.

And that’s where sales gets it’s bad rap.

As Smokey the Bear says: “Only you can prevent forest fires.”

Exactly.

Selling is simply ensuring that your product or service is exchange in abundance, and the buyer rides that 1953 Schwinn Panther off down the street like he’s Buck Rogers and he owns the world. He’s so happy he never thinks twice about what he paid. And as the wind whips through his hair he’s thinking you were so cool to give him such a great deal.

And to ensure that kind of scenario is embedded in your good sales DNA, your sales process should always have a yardstick.

And that yardstick should be that your client or customer never-ever pings on that betrayal strand of DNA.

If you always exchange in abundance and over deliver, the story line in that Viking DNA changes completely. Eirik the Viking remembers Astrid and the many great nights they had together. The deal they did with Victor went well. And Victor is happy because those deerskin's kept him from freezing his ass off all winter and he’s sleeping like a bear.

And truly, that kind of sell is just a hoot for both the seller and the buyer.



For a free phone consultation to discuss your business needs, please feel free to text me or call me at 303-6416647 or by email at daveworthen@gmail.com


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Comments

Lupita 🐝 Reyes

5 years ago #26

Great buzz Dave Worthen! Worth sharing everywhere! :D

Gert Scholtz

6 years ago #25

Dave Worthen "Selling is simply ensuring that your product or service is exchange in abundance". Well said Dave and a very nice article.

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

6 years ago #24

#27
Thanks!! Yeah, my profile is just in Spanish as my business and clients are just in Spanish as well. By the moment... 😉 But most of my Producers are in both languages. https://www.bebee.com/@mamen-delgado

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #23

#33
Local, small town Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt. Even then, they are a rare commodity. I must admit when we first sat down he tried to offer MUCH less for my Audi, and I got up and said, "I'm out of here." He looked dumb founded and said, "wait, don't leave, what can I do for you?" I told him he can give me what my Audi is worth because I came in with black book, TMV and KBB prices printed off- he went back to his manager with my paper work and came back out with the price I wanted for my Audi- it was in excellent condition. It was actually HIS manager giving him a hard time. Once we got over that hump everything else went smooth. I could tell his heart was in the right place and he wanted us to walk out happy along with still making some money on his end. I respected that he went back in and came back with numbers that were where they should have been, including the new car we were purchasing. Car shopping is one of my least favorite things to do.

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #22

Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher Hi Lisa! What a great example of what I talk about in my article. Sales kept honest and straight is actually a great experience because one did come to buy. And if that is kept real, then you’re glad you bought. It’s funny, I’ve been buying my cars from the same dealership BECAUSE of the salesman. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #21

Dave Worthen, while I was reading this it made me think of car sales. I love when the sales person tells the truth, doesn't over inflate (because consumers do their homework) and the transition is smooth. I never look back with the exception of hoping that same person is still employed at the dealership the next time I want to do business. He made money and I bought a car for the price it was worth, not something that was over inflated like a sales persons ego can be at times. Just keeping it real on a human to human basis makes all the difference.

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #20

#28
Thank you very much, Jerry Fletcher!

Jerry Fletcher

6 years ago #19

Dave, I am wowed! An original thought on Sales. You are to be commended

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #18

#26
Hi Mamen \ud83d\udc1d Delgado! I think it’s great you read books like the one by Daniel Pink. So glad you use DNA! It’s so descriptive. I went to read your page and Caramba! Todo está en español! 🤣 And your English here is superb! 😄👍🏻

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

6 years ago #17

#15
My pleasure Dave Worthen!! A few weeks ago I discovered the book "Selling is Human" by Daniel Pink. Great ideas on the book, specially to leave apart the prejudices about selling. Love the idea of the DNA, I always talk about the "DNA of the entrepreneur". 😉

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #16

#24
Thanks Larry Boyer, \ud83d\udc1d Brand Ambassador! Yes, the derivation of the word, any word, gives enormous insight on its origin and how it’s playing out now.

Larry Boyer

6 years ago #15

Great perspective. It's fascinating how the origin of words, even if we're not aware of it, really impacts us. I love the ending perspective : " Selling is simply ensuring that your product or service is exchange in abundance. . . Thanks Lupita for the tag on LinkedIn.

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #14

Thank youKathryn Landers for stopping by and giving me your feedback. I really appreciate it!

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc.

6 years ago #13

#20
I love that road too Dave Worthen, I am ready for it now.

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #12

#18
Thank you, ! I’m glad you liked the exchange in abundance part. I live my life by that motto.

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #11

Thank you, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! I’m glad you enjoyed my buzz. There are many more to come!

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc.

6 years ago #10

I love that remark "Selling is simply ensuring that your product or service is exchange in abundance", you get a "wow" for that Dave Worthen thank you for that

Ali Anani

6 years ago #9

Thank you Lupita \ud83d\udc1d Reyes for tagging me to this wonderful buzz. Dave Worthen- it is the first time I read a buzz by you, but surely not the last. I enjoyed your thinking. If you are "selling" this buzz to your readers then I tell you you sold it with no "cracks" in the foundation.

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #8

#12
Thank you, Mamen \ud83d\udc1d Delgado!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

6 years ago #7

Superb Dave Worthen for the tag! 😘

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #6

#8
Thank you for sharing this, Lupita \ud83d\udc1d Reyes! As I said in my article, after four decades of selling, I think that those who sell (which is everyone) should get a kick out of this. Because it's the truth!

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #5

#7
Thanks very much, ! And thanks for sharing it with the other hives. I'm still learning the ropes here, but this is the best and most interactive platform for business professionals in my mind.

David B. Grinberg

6 years ago #4

Nice blogging buzz, Dave, as pointed out by the other comments below. I've shared this is three hives: "Sales" and "Business" and "Customer Service." Keep buzzing! cc: John White, MBA

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #3

#5
Thank you, Lupita \ud83d\udc1d Reyes! Yes, this is a very different look at selling, but it is without a doubt its “DNA.”

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #2

#2
You're funnyChas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Dave Worthen

6 years ago #1

#1
Thank you very much @Kathryn Landers. I'm glad you enjoyed the insight!

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