DICTATOR DON UNVEILS HIS ENEMIES LIST (WE’RE ON IT)

Senators Susan Collins, Lamar Alexander, and Lisa Murkowski did not vote for impeachment in the trial of President Trump because they believe he had learned his lesson and would straighten up and fly right. The ‘bad boy’ would obey the rule of law.

Silly senators!

Yesterday, Trump unleashed his fury by cutting the ribbon on his enemy’s list and vowed revenge for those he believes have slighted him.

“It’s very unfair what these people have done,” Trump said after cutting the ribbon on his list. “The people listed here are scum, human garbage, evil bastards hellbent on hurting me. They don’t like that I’m making America great again. They want to destroy me because they want to destroy America. I won’t let it happen. I’m very brave and smart and stable. Everyone says so.”

Trump has signed an executive order forming 50,000 Justice Seeker Squads–– teams of 100 angry goons, hooligans, and hoodlums armed with bats, shivs, broken bottles, and semi-automatic weapons.

“I have instructed my Justice Seekers to show no mercy,” the president said looking at his daughter Ivanka and drooling. “Each Squad will be given pages of the list. If someone’s name is on the list, that person is guilty of treason and has got to pay. And the price is going to be steep, let me tell you. Very steep.”

Attorney General Bill Barr and Senator Mitch McConnell fully support the president in his battle for justice.

“He’s the president, so we must obey,” said McConnell. “Our hands are tied on this.” The sly fox smiled and cooed with his warble throat.

Trump’s enemies list consists of over 48,987,600 names in 4-pt. type. The Lint Screen is #5 on the list. #5 with a bullet.

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Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) was a founder of ASO Advertising and recently left the ad game to write what he wants, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.

He recently released his debut novel, SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus, and writes two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).