Survivors VS Victims
Iâve been sick for weeks; groveling in tributes to my body in the form of chicken soup and OJ. Lowering myself to this status began when I attended a speaking engagement on sexual assault and rape at a local college. I coughed mightily throughout the presentation. By the next day, both the experience and illness had thrown me into my bed. I felt beaten.
NowâI wrote the previous paragraph a week ago. I was grabbing at wellness in my mind, but my hacking and spewing has driven me to the emergency room once since. Iâm still under the weatherâstruggling to write.
My speaking engagement to UMass students--Kappa Delta Phi NAS, Kappa Upsilon Chapter Sorority sistersâstill has me reeling. Â I spoke about sexual assault and rape. After five decades of experience, I found myself challengedârevictimized yet again. As I tried to decimate my experience with the system, there were those in the audience who countered the advice I had to give. A graduate student with a few years of school beat against my decades of experience with the current and past stance of the systemâs railing against the exposure of predatorsâwith a badge of honor depicted by a âsurvivorsâ badge. My collection of documentation was challenged by one student, as she asked, âHow did you get the documents?â Who gives a ratâs ass how I got them. The points is, I got them and proudly display some of them here: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@joyce-bowen/deception. When I told students of the post, not a single one (as far as I could tell) investigated the post. They seemed to dwell in their own preconceptions. It was like being faced with a brick wall. Women are being trained to believe they will be ineffective in pursuing the prosecution of their assailants.
I spoke of the need to allow evidence collection by law enforcement immediately. There were those in the audience promoting counseling first, which would have no further benefit than slamming the doors to law enforcement by allowing the degradation of evidence. Â SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners) are specially trained to deal with victims of sexual assault and rape.I spoke to a psychologist friend mine regarding the policies of schools promoting expulsion as a consequence of sexual predation, and he agreed this is a flawed system. Schools should be promoting prosecution. They do not. Why?
One student expressed a concern that victims consider the consequences of entering into the prosecutorial system. No doubtâit is a hard road. One need only follow the Harvey Weinstein story, where women needed to acquire their own Powerbase to be credible. In my case, I was made to feel criminal in my journey towards causing my attacker to be prosecuted. He was a horrific predator. Yet I was called a crusader by law enforcement as if sexual assault and rape should be considered a womanâs right of passage. Of course, it was a man who assigned that tag to me. I was appalled. But I had no Power and my attacker's colleagues went to great lengths to shield him to the extent that laws were broken by doing so.
In my five decades of experience with the legal system, I have seen women and children demeaned and re-victimized. Itâs as if we should be happy someone targeted us with unwanted attention. Should we feel honored that Powerful people chose to predate on us?
When I think of the âsurvivorâ badge, I think of women who chose to come forward such as the Harvey Weinstein victims. They are true survivors. It is a shame that they could not come forward earlier because of fear of repercussions. But they did come forward. It imbues me with a sense of pride. It takes a great deal of courage to go up against such a corrupt system.
When it comes to colleges, one in four women will experience sexual assault or rape before they graduate. Wouldnât it be marvelous if colleges and universities joined together to eradicate sexual predation instead of worrying about their reputations?
https://joycebowen.wordpress.com/2017/09/27/umass-lowell/
Copyright 2017 Joyce Bowen
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyce-bowen/
https://twitter.com/crwriter1
https://joycebowen.wordpress.com/author/joycebowen/
https://medium.com/@joycebowen
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Comments
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #23
Milos Djukic
6 years ago #22
My pleasure Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. You calm me too :)
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #21
Thank you, Milos Djukic. You calm me.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #20
The first time I was assaulted was when I was a 16yo child with no knowledge of male anatomy other than what I had seen at the Smithsonian in DC. You almost sound like sexual assault is acceptable. It is not. Not for men nor for women. It is also not okay for anyone to shield a predator. This happens all too often. The one case I approached for prosecution involved a child predator. His colleagues and others completely shielded him. That post I list in this article holds all the proof necessary. There were too many damned victims in that one. I learned the land of proof the hard way, so I started collecting everything I could. If that man invaded the nightmares of people, we surely invaded his.
Milos Djukic
6 years ago #19
You will never stop dear Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee, my friend. Kind regards from Belgrade, Milos Great article!
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #18
Actually--I did some research on that statistic, and having been sexually assaulted twice and raped twice over the course of my life, I did not find it hard to believe. I have one printed-out website in my car and will list it here when I bring it up. Any unwelcome sexual attention--well--is just that. I always wanted to be recognized for my brains rather than my frontal appendages. I worked in male fields all my life. It wasn't easy.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #17
Thank you, Joanne Gardocki
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #16
Professionals need to be taken to task in their views on sexual assault. When I first started organizing our case, I simply thought I was doing the right thing and I was. To have been batter, abused, and made to feel criminal in promoting justice was incomprehensible and horrifying to me. Getting something online is my way of documenting what happened.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #15
Brian--I got out against these problems to voice my belief that change is needed. You just seem to want to voice anger. There were many boys involved in our case. But I pick and choose my battles--using what happened to me and others--to show change is needed. It is impossible to do so by creating a wide swath against a corrupt system. Calm down and use your voice for change. not for drama.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #14
ouch
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #13
Yes, Cyndi wilkins, there are too many out there. It causes me pain to think of it. What causes more pain is the thought that there are upcoming female professionals that are still in collusion with the system to shield perpetrators.
Devesh đ Bhatt
6 years ago #12
things do happen to young men too because of the very same flaws that you wrote about.
Jerry Fletcher
6 years ago #11
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #10
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #9
I swear young women--even today--are being nurtured by society into acceptance of this intrusion. I always feel as if I am being punished for speaking out for the most part. I'll never stop.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #8
Good to hear, Louise Smith
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #7
Just make sure you have this talk with your daughter before she goes. Youth tends to dwell in the land of omnipotence--won't happen to me. I swear something happens to young men when they get into college--notches on their belts, so to speak.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #6
This is true across the spectrum, Pascal Derrien. Someday--if enough people speak up--this will change.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
6 years ago #5
So true, and Thank you, Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #4
Louise Smith
6 years ago #3
Pascal Derrien
6 years ago #2
Devesh đ Bhatt
6 years ago #1