“I’LL HAVE SQUID GAME IN MY SECOND TERM,” SAYS TRUMP

Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump continues his big lie that he won the 2020 election. While he forces all Republican politicians to genuflect to him, Trump is also planning his second term.

“If we can’t have a coup to get me in office,” Trump tells The Lint Screen, “then we’ll have to go through the charade of an election. But this time, I know I’ll win with over 460 Electoral College votes. It’s a lock. We’ve already figured out the totals. It’s all over except the counting.”

The confident con man is making big plans for his second term.

“I’ve seen this big hit show Squid Game, and I’m going to start playing those games here,” he claims. “The show is number one on Netflix worldwide. It’s almost as big as The Apprentice when I was the star. Everyone says I was the biggest star ever. I had a brainstorm the other night––we’re going to start having Squid Game competitions here, every night, broadcast on all the channels. And I will sit on a throne and watch the losers get taken down. But I’m not wearing a mask like in the TV show. Everyone wants to see my face. I’m the star.”

The GOP politicians asked about Trump’s Squid Game are excited about it.

“If the boss wants to do it,” says a sniveling Rep. Jim Jordan, “then I’m all for it. The man is god to me. Tell him I said that.”

“I support the president one hundred and eighty percent,” says Sen. Ted Cruz. “And President Trump was right about my wife being ugly and my dad helping kill JFK. The man is a genius.”

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy also likes Trump’s Squid Game proposal. “It’s a good way to cut back on entitlement programs,” he says. “And provide some quality entertainment.” He smiles.

Sen. Ron Johnson didn’t like the idea until he heard Trump came up with it.

“If President Trump thinks it’s a good idea, then so do I, Johnson says. “It may be the greatest idea in American history! I mean that. The greatest idea ever! Brilliant!”

He drops his head and speaks to himself in a disappointed voice. “I have no spine or balls.”

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