Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago · 3 min. reading time · visibility ~10 ·

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Hashtag, MeToo! A Letter To My Former Boss

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I was so excited when I accepted the position you offered me. You 'appeared' to be professional and quite friendly, that is, until you began to show your true colors.

I'm guessing that your own job title (THE BOSS) went to your head as time progressed. Maybe you had low self esteem, possibly you weren't getting what you needed from your marriage? I know one thing for sure, you became a womanizer first,with an ego the size of an empty stadium. And, you want to know something, I don't care what issues you had, you turned out to be a first class creep.

I was only in my mid 20's when I began working for you and you took advantage of my happy-go-lucky personality because I wasn't aware that you were subtly flirting with me until you started touching me. I was naive to think that you respected me as a person and a good employee.

When I was 15 years old an 18 year old football player tried to rape me. He pinned me down, got on top of me and ripped my shirt open as he groped me while trying to unzip my pants. I was fortunate that his friend (who he sent to the store) had a gut feeling this jerk was up to something because he hid in the bushes, ran to me and pulled the raging bull off of me. I never told anyone because I felt so embarrassed.

It took me a very long time to trust guys again after that horrible incident. The tides changed as I entered my 20's. I knew I had self worth, I met many nice guys who turned out to be great friends and I thought I was able to put the attempted rape incident completely out of my mind. You ruined my trust in men again after you started coming into the office and rubbing my shoulders. I would tell you to STOP and I remember how red your stubby little face became after I spoke up to you. I remember you asking me why I didn't like it? Why?! Because, you had no right to place your hands anywhere on my body!

But, you couldn't stop there, you came into the office one afternoon and put your hands on my shoulders again and thought you were being sly by inching your hand downtowards my breast quickly. You weren't sly, you were a predator. I remember yelling, "Get your F'ning hands off me now and don't you ever touch me again, are we clear?! Your fat neck and big head became as red as a beet after I stood my ground with you.

I guess you thought you had the last laugh when you decided to make each and every working day miserable for me after I stood up to you. I remember you telling me I had to work even though my son was in the hospital and very ill. I told you I wouldn't leave his side while he was sick and I'll never forget your response, "You work here, you can see him on your breaks and if you don't work today I will write you up!" Your response emboldened me.

You had already been making my life hell at work prior to my son's illness and when you tried to pull the power card out, it didn't work. I had been considering leaving my job because of you, my creepy ex-Boss. You made that decision much easier. I feared leaving because we needed the second income but my sanity was more important. I gave you a month's notice and with pride, I finished my last 4 weeks.

The last laugh was on you after I left. You interviewed a friend of mine for my job and told her that you fired me because I missed so much time due to my son being ill off and on. She knew me well and called me at home to let me know what you said. I called administration and reported you. I also called a few Physician's I worked with and told them what had transpired, they vouched for me too. Karma... you were written up and had to call and apologize to me, which by the way made me want to vomit. It wasn't long after I left, your wife left you too and I've always wondered if she was aware of your behavior at work around females. Or, maybe, just maybe, you treated her like sheetOla because you had no respect for females. I'm glad she left you because she was an awesome person.

My life went on and I felt more empowered after I had time to digest what happened. I didn't blame myself for your sickness! Oh, and I understand that eventually you were fired, I wonder if you continued your behavior with other women and someone finally reported you? That's the ONLY thing I regret, that I didn't report your demented and unwarranted advances.

It's been years since this happened and I can only hope something clicked inside that pea brain of yours, I hope you saw the light.

I want other women and/or young females to understand that it's never okay for a man to touch you without your permission. I want them to know that if they are the subordinate and find themselves being sexually harassed, you need to report the person. Remember, it's not your fault, you did nothing to bring it on and the person who is sexually harassing you needs to be held accountable.

Luckily I was married and my husband understood. My husband reported my ex-boss to Administration too. This happened years ago and I want to believe by today's standards he would have been fired on the spot. No woman wants to admit she's been sexually molested, assaulted or groped because it's extremely humiliating to say out loud and women fear people won't believe them. Women fear that label- She's just a whore, so, it's no wonder... she was just asking for it.

To my long lost ex-boss, I had no problems finding work after I left. As a matter of fact,  my career advanced, how's life treating you today?


*Posted on Linkedin too*

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Comments

Claire L Cardwell

3 years ago #25

Lisa Gallagher- well said! If we all stand together against abusive behaviour then surely it will start to stop.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #24

#24
That's a great point Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! If he had dignity, he sure would stop. Thank goodness for the many good men who do respect women and would never try to take advantage of them or worse. Sorry I missed thi, I actually went to my blog page to see if I had new comments because my notifications didn't show any?
#21
the other issue Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher is the loss of dignity. When a woman rejects an "offer" from a man I would think his dignity would stop him- only if he had one.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #22

#15
Thanks for reading and sharing my buzz Joel Anderson. Thank you to so many I missed that shared this buzz as well :))

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #21

#18
Oh Ken Boddie, that was great! If I knew where he was, I'd print it off and send it to him.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #20

#17
I will never understand it either Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Honestly, I'm not sure these men do manage themselves well. Others, I truly believe they find no fault and feel entitled as if women are game.. and it's always open season. I'm glad to see so many men speaking out because there are many good men!

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #19

#16
Much too young and agree, not sure the human brain can full comprehend that something is really THAT bad until it has time to mature. So sorry Cyndi wilkins

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #18

#14
Me too Pascal Derrien!

Ken Boddie

4 years ago #17

Hey, Lisa ..... I can easily tell, This boss from hell, Was an unruly bully, And a creep as well. It appears to me, We can all agree, This bottom feeder, Sure ain’t no leader.
I don't understand how few men degrade themselves to this level. If they can not manage their "hands" touching others how they could even manage themselves?!!! You went through a hard experience Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher and emerged as victorious. Only if the battle was with a worthy man

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #15

Rock on Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher...Me Too...I was eleven...Not an age where standing up for yourself is an option:-(

Joel Anderson

4 years ago #14

Bravo.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #13

I am quite perturbed by the behaviours of many reps from my gender, I am sorry this has happened to you and other ladies :-(

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #12

#10
Hi Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, don't feel sad (easy to say eh?) But, honestly, I'm not sad anymore. I think a bit angry that I never told anyone and held it in for so long. I'm just happy that it wasn't worse, it sure could have been, considering all the stories we hear. Even with the 18 year old that pinned me down.. he weighed like 200 lbs, all muscle and was about 6'1. I was scared shitless when that happened. Thank God for my good male friend who hid in the bushes that night.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #11

#9
David B. Grinberg, thank you for your input, you made a lot of valid points. I want to believe that if this had happened to me today, I would have reported him. Amazing what fear can do- I think many women feel in a situation like mine, that they can deal with it. Also, I truly believe that many women feel others won't believe them. In the case of my ex-boss,he was very good friends with the Director of Human Resources. David, than you for being such a strong voice for women and others, you are a champion my friend.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #10

#7
I think women are finally feeling they can speak out loud. I think there are many, many women who were touched inappropriately or worse and kept it in like I did. I really am over it, I just get a bit angry when I think of the 'shoulda, woulda, could'ves ' Thanks for your kind response Debasish Majumder!
I commend you for sharing this post-Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher! I feel sad because of what you went through but I am so proud of you for writing about your horrible experience. Brava!

David B. Grinberg

4 years ago #8

Lisa, I commend you for writing so eloquently about such a personal and daunting experience. Speaking out about sexual harassment is critically important to raising awareness and revealing the colossal extent of this inexcusably persistent problem, which has too often been swept under the rug by harassers and their cowardly cohorts. That's why I strongly encourage all men to likewise speak out and take a public stand against sexual harassment, which is never permissible in the workplace or any place. More men need to let harassers know that their sordid behavior towards women is never acceptable -- period! Moreover, harassers need to know there will be harsh repercussions for the outrageous and reprehensible actions. Further, I think sexual harassers need to be called out by name and publicly shamed by women and men alike -- in addition to facing the full extent of the law for their illegal conduct. Thanks again for sharing your story. This brutish behavior must end ASAP.

David B. Grinberg

4 years ago #7

Lisa, I commend you for writing so eloquently about such a personal and daunting experience. Speaking out about sexual harassment is critically important to raising awareness and revealing the colossal extent of this inexcusably persistent problem, which has too often been swept under the rug by harassers and their cowardly cohorts. That's why I strongly encourage all men to likewise speak out and take a public stand against sexual harassment, which is never permissible in the workplace or any place. More men need to let harassers know that their sordid behavior towards women is never acceptable -- period! Moreover, harassers need to know there will be harsh repercussions for the outrageous and reprehensible actions. Further, I think sexual harassers need to be called out by name and publicly shamed by women and men alike -- in addition to facing the full extent of the law for their illegal conduct. Thanks again for sharing your story. This brutish behavior must end ASAP.

Debasish Majumder

4 years ago #6

this post of yours drawn me till the final full stop madam Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher! i felt utterly sad at the same time your self-esteem is of great pride to me. i enjoyed read and shared. thank you very much for the post madam.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #5

#4
Brutal brains, I like that term . Yes, women do need empowered. So many are abused in much more extreme ways, it's horrible to even hear of. When they report their abuse, the system needs to treat them as victims not liars (which happens in a lot of cases). If they are lying, it will come out in a court of law, until then, they are the victim. It's rare a woman would report false sexual abuse or harassment because they have to then share what happened to strangers (as in the law, a jury, lawyers and even health care). They feel violated all over again.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #4

#3
Thank you, I think this was one of the toughest I've written.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

4 years ago #3

Ah, mad men berserk with brutal brains need lashing lessons. Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher it's a great exposure with bravery to empower oppressed women who silently suffer the pangs of parasitic people.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #2

#1
Exactly, it is never okay for a man to touch or grope a woman. I'm glad you were able to nip what happened before he thought it was okay to touch more. And, I'm glad he understood your gesture & you are both still friends :) I wish my Ex Boss would have apologized instead of getting his ego so bruised because he then took it out on me in a passive aggressive manner. I loved what I did, hated him back then.

Lupita 🐝 Reyes

4 years ago #1

Spot on Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher!! “It’s never okay for a man to touch you without your permission” yes!!! And not only in the workplace, but in any other place and any other kind of relationship! Once I was talking with a good friend in a coffe shop and he was so enthusiastic ystarted touching my knee with some “familiarity”. Then, after a minute or two, I touched his fingers that, by the way we’re very close to my shoulders, (we were sitting in a booth) and he was surprised!!! I just asked him: Are they real? While I was staring at my knee, then his fingers and then his eyes. He didn’t do that again. And yes, we’re still friends! Thank you Lisa!!

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