Space Force Is Launched, Universe To Be Safer Place

Boldly going where no president has gone before, Donald J. Trump has created an idea even bigger than coining the incredibly clever nickname ‘Wacky Jacky’ — he has started Space Force!

“It had to happen,” a White House spokesman said. “There are just too many illegal aliens coming to America and our big beautiful wall won’t be tall enough to keep them out. Space Force will protect our borders.”

The Lint Screen has learned that actor William Shatner will head the Space Force program. Shatner, most famous for his role in the hit TV series T.J. Hooker, is reported to be such a big fan of our galaxy that he has it loaded into his Google Maps and has marked it a “favorite.”

“Space Force is going to help make America great again,” the spokesman said. “And once we conquer space, we may even send a man to the moon. All we have to do is find a flashlight big enough to strap on the front of the spaceship. That outer space gets wicked dark, you know.”

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Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) is a founder of ASO Advertising and recently left the ad game to be a full-time writer, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.

He has two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).

Thanks for reading.