Opportunities Lost and Found

I asked my friend if they had spoken to the people on the ramp and asked them to move.

Ugh. No. I don't want a confrontation. Then we'll have to deal with them on the river.

Our younger son was with me, and as we walked toward the boat ramp, he asked what I planned to do.

I'm going to ask them to move.

There are three trucks waiting to put their boats in the water, and they can't because of this gear. I'd love to help you move it, there's plenty of room just a few feet to your left.

And as I spoke the last sentence, I smiled broadly and reached for the handle at the back of the paddle boat.

With a slightly puzzled expression, he went around to the other side to help me move the boat. And the others in the group started to move the coolers and gear blocking the ramp.

"Thank you so much! I really appreciate your flexibility and help."

"Yeah, of course, no problem." -- He almost smiled.

My son and I walked away and watched as our neighbor backed the truck onto the ramp to put the boat into the water.

Mom, that didn't seem like such a big deal. It was like he had to help you, you didn't give him another option. That was cool.

Our neighbor didn't want to confront this group. Why? Because we can't predict how someone will react when we confront them. My answer is always to use my pleases and thank yous, treat people respectfully and make sure they understand why I'm asking them to do something. When I can, I offer to help, so they know I'm not asking them to do something I wouldn't do myself.

There are simple strategies to connect and improve communication:

• Don't forget your pleases and thank yous.
• Be considerate of the people around you -- always.
• Be considerate when you are asking someone for something, know what you are asking, and the kind of investment you are asking from that person. Be prepared for them to turn you down. Be okay with that and have a backup plan.
• Pay attention to the small kindnesses you offer and receive; open doors for people, wave when someone in traffic lets you merge, be genuine in your interactions.
• Be kind -- online and offline. It's not that hard, be intentional about it.
• Smile, especially when you're asking for something.

Sarah Elkins is a professional coach and consultant, helping people and businesses improve their communication through the art of storytelling. She's also the President of Elkins Consulting, the company making a splash with small, face-to-face, affordable interactive conferences called No Longer Virtual.

*Top and bottom photos taken on the Missouri River between Wolf Creek and Craig, Montana

*Boat launch photo courtesy of Kyle Bowerman on Panoramio