I Said NO! Why Didn't He Listen? - Lisa Gallagher - United States

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago · 4 min. reading time · ~100 ·

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I Said NO! Why Didn't He Listen?

The story I'm about to share is a very hard story to talk about. I've gone back and forth in my mind about sharing this story because it really is very personal. This week's news about women being groped and talked about as if they are inanimate objects that are there for certain men's amusement brought everything back to the forefront of my mind.

When I was in High School I babysat quite frequently to make extra money. One particular evening I asked the parents I was babysitting for if I could invite a good male friend of mine over to their home. They told me it was fine as long as he came over after the kids were in bed. So, I invited John to the house and told him we could sit on the back porch to chat when he stopped by.

To my surprise

When John arrived at the home I was babysitting, he had a friend with him. He never asked me if he could bring this friend and I obviously had no idea the friend was going to be with him either. John was a really fun, nice guy. We had been friends for a long time, he was like a close girlfriend to me. The friend John brought was on the football team and yes, I thought he was hot. I never told anyone, including my friend John that I thought Perry, the football player was hot. So you can imagine my surprise when Perry showed up with John.

Not long after John and Perry arrived, Perry told John to go to the store for some snacks. John protested a bit. The fact that he was protesting made me feel uncomfortable because I sensed something a bit more sinister. It wasn't chilly out that evening but suddenly my body felt a chill.

I should have listened to my gut

Once that chill came over me I kept wanting to say to John, "No, please don't go to the store, don't leave me alone with Perry." I was only 15 years old and I didn't have the guts or maturity to speak up like that. As soon as John left, Perry grabbed me, pulled me against him and kissed me hard on the lips without permission. I pulled away and told him to stop. Perry was 6'2 and weighed about 200 lbs. I was and am 5'2 and only weighed about 107 lbs. After I pulled away and told Perry to stop he became more aggressive. Perry pushed me down onto the back porch and straddled me. He had his knees on top of my arms and began to pull up my shirt and unzip my pants. I was screaming at him to get off of me! The more I protested, the more aggressive he became. I guess he was used to getting what he wanted and I must of hurt his male ego after his attempt with a kiss that felt more like someone pushing wet bricks against my lips! He was just beginning to pull up my bra and suddenly he was being pulled off of me with a lot of force.

Someone listened to their gut

I'm not sure if John was aware that Perry was going to try something like this or if he just had a gut feeling because he knew Perry so well. So, John hid in the bushes instead of going to the store. When he saw what was going on he ran to the porch, pulled Perry off of me, punched Perry and told him 'to get the hell out of here now!" I was lucky because Perry didn't put up a fight. I was lucky that John waited in the bushes or I would have been raped that evening.

I never told anyone

I was so embarrassed about the incident I never shared this story with anyone. John even promised me he wouldn't tell a sole. After this happened to me I lost a LOT of trust in guys. I also lost faith in myself. I actually thought in some warped way that I was partly to blame. I'm not sure why those thoughts go through a gals mind after being assaulted by a man but they do and they feel real. It was hard for me to get close to a guy for a very long time after this happened because I feared they might try something similar or play up to me until they got what they wanted, then discard me. Yes, my self-esteem sucked very bad after the incident. I was probably one of the few females who would not allow myself to have sex with a guy until I knew we were very serious. I'm married to that man now and have been for many years. Thank goodness he had patience with me and respected me enough to wait.

Hindsight

If you experience a strong gut feeling about someone (as many call it, intuition) listen! And, never feel it was your fault if a guy tried to rape you or succeeded. As they say, no means NO. I'm sure many females have experienced something similar and kept it a secret their entire lives because it made them feel confused about themselves and even dirty. I wish I would have talked about it with someone after it happened but I didn't. I was shy around guys/men for years. I didn't fear them because I did realize that most men didn't have bad intentions but it did affect my psyche around men. To this day, until I get to know a man well, I'm still shy. Obviously, I'm not in the market looking for men but I still feel a slight bit of inferiority around men until I get to know them better. Once I get to know a man and feel comfortable, I'm able to be just as fun, silly and serious with them as I am with my friends that are women.

I was lucky that I had a friend who cared enough to wait and come to my rescue. Not every female is that lucky. I just wish I would have sought some counseling earlier in life after that incident. I honestly had no clue how much and in what ways it did affect me until many years later. The only advice I can offer to anyone who's been close to being raped or has been raped is this: Don't stay silent, never blame yourself and seek help from a professional. I should have reported this to authorities as well because I often wonder if he did this to others and did end up raping one or more gals? Maybe I could have saved other females from this horrible excuse of a guy if he did prey on other females. I will never know, but it will always haunt me.

Photo credit: Google images- http://img.stomp.com.sg/styles/500_height/s3/ss/featured/2016/05/rapeposed.jpg?itok=7LoQQzkP

#LOT #John #Perry #Hindsight #High School

Comments

Lyon Brave

6 years ago #57

Unfortunately, a lot of women experience what can only be described as negative and inappropriate sexual encounters with men. This of course can damage women for life and make them fearful men and healthy sexual relationships for life. It is very sad that this scenario is not rare. .One thing I noticed in your writing, is still as an older woman who wants to express what a dick this guy was, you still make excuses for his behavior. You try to sugar coat it, " I guess he was used to getting what he wanted and I must of hurt his male ego after his attempt with a kiss that felt more like someone pushing wet bricks against my lips!" I mean what is that. Fuck his male ego. Fuck used to getting what he wants and having blue balls and all that bull shit that has women try to see their rapists in a less horrific light. I get men are uncomfortable with a strong female agenda, but guess what fellas, women are tired of being raped and afraid.

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

6 years ago #56

#76
if it is. I name you again. I had been wanting to write about it for a long time, remembering his story helped me. Now he has also written about this Susana Iglesias Hernandez. It is a thorny issue, to which "We Give Voice", adding our experiences.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #55

#75
Is the article on your blog page here on beBee Irene? It's always good to have many articles on topics like this :)

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

6 years ago #54

#74
I wrote it and named it, mentioned it in the article but deleted it because I thought you had bothered. The article is called EDUCOCONCIENCIANDO®

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #53

#73
Tag me when you write yours! "We are visible," that's a great line Irene!

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

6 years ago #52

#72
We still have a way to go, there are people who think this is incessant, but it is the first major change, although we have against our real Spanish language academy, we will continue to insist, We are Visible !! Thank you for reading and answering. Thank you for writing your testimony, inspired me to start writing mine, when reading yours, I knew it was time. In Spain the slogan to invite to speak and denounce is: Not Alone!!, Not One Less!! 😘.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #51

#71
Hi Irene \ud83d\udc1d Rodriguez Escolar thank you for taking the time to explain the differences in meanings and why. I think I do understand and I love it. It appears people revere women in Spain. I'm sorry I missed your comment, I found this just now! I wish I would have spent time to become a Doctora :))

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

6 years ago #50

#70
Boys and girls from some schools in the area, I do not know if in the whole region of Madrid, our school works with emotional education. I am not a teacher, but if the first educator that my sons and daughters have. This is one of the first things that we are aware of and that in Spain generates some controversy. Because they believe that it is not necessary, in the presentations, interviews, rallies ... it only generates a little more time in a longer duration, or something more in ink when written. That is why we are aware of who has already been educated. We advocate that the feminine word be pronounced. There are words that allow perfectly use in female and masculine gender. In English if I write Doctor refers to both sexes, but perfectly in Spanish, we say and we write Doctor, Doctora (female), student is a plural word, but students(boys) alumnos and students (girls) too alumnas. We defend and imply that we exist, in words, feminine. I do not know if you will understand the concept.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #49

Hi Irene \ud83d\udc1d Rodriguez Escolar, thank you for reading my buzz! Yes, this was hard to write about. I agree, young girls need to know they have a voice and it's OK to use it. I like the word you gave it and the idea of Fight against gender violence. Good for you!! It sounds like your young children in Madrid where you teach are very lucky to have you. Keep up the good fight! :))

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

6 years ago #48

Bravo, 👏👏👏👏👏 thanks for telling us your story, I read it now, it's hard to say something like that, but sure as I do, think that it can help others here. I call it "giving voice" last November 25, 2016, international day against gender violence against women, I created a word Educoconcienciando, evidently the translator does not know it, is the sum of half of two fundamental words in the Fight against gender violence. Educate the new generations + Raise awareness of those who were educated. Although I know it still makes you feel dirty, you should not feel guilty. Here in Madrid Spain, my little children in school, received pamphlets in which in the end could be seen NOT IS NOT STILL DRUG, RUBBER OR EVEN WITH LOW UNDERWEAR. (I hope the translator is not mistaken)

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #47

#67
The gut (intuition) is rarely wrong. Thanks for taking the time to read my buzz @Amarish. Talking about bad experiences helps to release them a bit!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #46

Thank you for the share Javier beBee!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #45

#63
Well said Ren\u00e9e Cormier, "Abuse is about power, so we should never empower our abusers by letting them taint our souls." A good motto to live by. I can't help feeling sad when I hear of anyone who's been abused in any manner but I understand you've risen above the power abusers!! :))

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #44

#62
Thank you for your comment @alvaro Infante Sanchez. Exactly, NO means NO.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #43

Thanks for sharing Ren\u00e9e Cormier!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #42

#58
Ren\u00e9e Cormier, You sure have been through a lot. I thank you so much for sharing your story, it has to be hard if you've never shared it before. I agree, the good men outweigh the predators by far, and thank god for them. I can't imagine what you experienced for everyone's experience is different and unique to that person. Happiness and trust are choices. Like you, I choose happiness over gloom. It doesn't mean people should ever forget but by not forgetting as you pointed out helps a person to become more intuitive. I'd like to think I read people fairly well too. It's rare I've been wrong about a person's intentions etc... I feel it's a gift and I'm thankful for that. I think we learn to choose our friends well! Again thanks, your story made me feel pain and sad.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #41

#17
Thanks Milos Djukic, your very kind. Yes, I am free, wiser and I pray for those who are much more traumatized than I was. Sorry I missed your comment yesterday!!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #40

#52
Thanks for reading Graham Edwards, these are tough topics to tackle and read. I wish people could carry something with them that would always protect them but if it were that easy, it wouldn't happen at all. Scream a loud NO, yes with a siren in your hand? ;-)

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #39

#51
Thanks again for your comment Lisa Vanderburg, couldn't agree more about the children who had no voice or help to deal with issues no one should have to deal with. Yes, I understood that Praveen's words were of encouragement and enlightenment. I appreciate all the comments on this thread. Always a good conversation to have, too many women still being assaulted and/or raped today. I wish there were better answers for those who suffer both physically and emotionally. Thanks again :))

maria pilar pich pou ,MD

7 years ago #38

??????????@lisa

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #37

#14
Thats so sad Praveen Raj Gullepalli has written about this in the past. Horror stories, they sound like!!

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #36

This was a very hard story to read but a very important on Lisa Gallagher... Thanks for sharing and we all have to start yelling NO louder.

Lisa Vanderburg

7 years ago #35

#39
Apologies for my tardy reply to your generous and candid reply, Lisa Gallagher. I so applaud the considered answer; I would be tempted to be berating myself with a borrowed Priest's flagellation weapon by this point, so I'm really grateful that you don't 'feel' that need. That means - at least to me - that you have truly been able to assimilate what was so commonplace, so (still) unspoken of. I think it was @Praveen Raj Gullepalli who pointed out that there are worse things, and I think he meant it kindly. But it really takes great courage to 'admit' your assault as an adult instead of a child. The importance that you answer proves is that there are so many people abused as children - worse, less...doesn't matter for this point, that can't speak out; didn't get the psychological help then, and are now are left with 'those lost potentials', as a result. Well done - I applaud you!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #34

#44
Thanks . There are many women who do speak out and if they have no-one to verify what happened, in other words, it's a he said/she said, many times the woman is considered or called a liar. Women have been ostracized for speaking out unless there is evidence to back up their claim. I appreciate your comment :))

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #33

#32
I think it has to be one of the hardest things to come forward about unless you've been physically beaten too and have no choice except to seek emergency treatment, Melissa Hughes. Women are made to feel as though they asked for this and in many cases, they are called liars. To have to relive the pain is not easy, to report it is hard when you already lack trust in others and realize our system still does not protect people who've been sexually assaulted and/or raped. As in the Sandusky case, other cases and now Trump, I hope people find strength in numbers and understand it's OK to speak up and out against their offender. Thank you very much for your comment and share!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #32

#27
Big hugs back at you Gloria Ochoa {{{{{}}}}}

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #31

#43
Thanks for reading Donna-Luisa Eversley, I'm sure it is a tough subject for many because I understood when I wrote this it others may have experienced something similar or worse. I was lucky that I wasn't raped, so I feel fortunate and almost feel whiney in contrast to women or men who've been raped. I would have been raped if my friend had not hidden in the bushes. Thank God for good guys. I think the fact that he was suspicious and saved me from Perry left me with some faith in guys!! My shyness is pre-anticipatory for the most. I'm ok once I get to know a man, most men are good! I was surprised that this incident hit me so many years later. In some weird way Trump reminds me of Perry, no regard for anyone other than himself. No respect for women. Thanks Donna-Luisa, I appreciate your comment!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #30

#42
Pascal Derrien, it was harder than I envisioned. I left some things out that might have been important to the lead up of my shyness I feel inside at times when it comes to meeting new men initially. There's much more to this story which doesn't just include the aggressor in this story. I'm not sure why some females are looked at by guys in HS as easy targets vs others? Or maybe there were many more who were easy targets too, we just never shared those stories with each other. It was easier to call another female a 'whore,' (sorry for the strong word), rather than to think of yourself as one because you FEEL you were labeled such. The women speaking out about Trump now are a good reminder of how money, power and more can silence people for years. Thanks Pascal!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #29

#41
Must have been a tough job Tom Peine!

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

7 years ago #28

When you are bold enough without any traces of fear, it becomes easier to defy, dispel and counteract any sort of violence. Thanks Lisa Gallagher for disclosing the painful part of your life and inspiring others to arm themselves with courage.

Pascal Derrien

7 years ago #27

Surely that was not easy to write.... well done more women need to speak up women are not sexual commodity it seems too many men are not getting it :-( Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #26

#31
debasish majumder, I'm sorry this story made you so sad!! There are some very bad men who prey on women and men. When we know of others who have been traumatized it pains us more to hear any story that may be similar. I agree, those who rape etc... need to be held accountable and women or men who are their victims should not have to feel as though they can't come forward. We still have a long way to go as a Society when it comes to people speaking out against their perpetrators. When I see trials they show on TV or in the news, it appears the victim is put on trial too. That's why many don't report the crimes because they fear no one will believe them. Others fear the perpetrator will hurt them again.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #25

#30
Hi Lisa Vanderburg, there might be a slight sense of vindication just typing out his real first name but I think in many ways I was able to realize over the years it wasn't my fault. The shyness with men, it's not as bad as it used to be but still present to a certain degree. It's more internal, I don't think most men would see me as shy and there are some men I'm not shy around at all when I first meet them. I guess it depends on their personality. I don't feel relieved because it changes nothing. However, I don't feel like a victim anymore either, if that makes sense? I look back and realize as a younger girl I was a victim and I carried that with me for a long time without knowing. Thanks for asking, those are honest questions.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #24

#29
Hi Jena Ball, I don't feel shamed today. It took me a long time to work through what happened. Recent events like that of Trump do tend to open up old wounds and in many ways people who've experienced something similar can relate. I will check out the link you left. I'm heading out soon. Thanks so much!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #23

#28
Thanks for reading Tom Peine. I agree, victims do need to speak out and others need to take them seriously. Most people would never lie about something as severe as rape, in particular... and sexual assault. They are subjected to more wounds once they do disclose. I think when it's a high profile case and more than one person speaks out, others feel safe (finally) in doing so too. I think they find safety in numbers and feel they will be taken seriously. I think of the Sandusky case and others. It took a few brave souls to come forward then others did as well once they knew they weren't the only ones who had been raped or assaulted. This could be the case with Trump now too. He's very powerful and many women may have felt they were the only ones he assaulted, so they stayed silent.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #22

#26
I think you may have touched on something important David Lisle. All of these boys were Catholics (no offense to the many Catholics). Religion played a large role in their lives from Kindergarten through HS. I know from what I've heard guilt played a big role in their lives. But, the football team at this particular HS had a different set of rules. It was as if they could do no wrong. I swear many of them kept score and it was a big game to them (a game outside of football). So, I'm sure there was more to it than I was aware. A secret many carry with them to this day.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #21

#25
Cyndi wilkins, Were you ever able to tell an adult about your experience? What you experienced sounds as though it would have been quite scary. I wonder if the girl accepted his behavior as a norm? I wonder if she was subjected to it from her dad? Very sad. As for this person, I can only hope he grew up and changed. I haven't seen him since HS or heard one thing about him since. His photo did pop up on FB one day and that too I believe, triggered my memory. I think if he would have succeeded in his attempt it would have left more scars. I'm not sure. I just remember feeling like guys must think I'm easy and I didn't trust many at all.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #20

#24
Thank you for reading Jared Wiese, appreciate!

Lisa Vanderburg

7 years ago #19

I read your article with great empathy and understanding, Lisa. I then read the comments, which (for the most part) were emotive in a positive way, and revealing in others - there's hurt here, no doubt. I'm very grateful for your courage to share. The question now to you is this: Are you still happy (or relieved) you shared? Has it helped? It's actually as personal and sincere a question as was your telling, so I won't be offended if you don't answer!

Gloria (Glo) Ochoa

7 years ago #18

Sending you a big hug Lisa Gallagher !

Cyndi wilkins

7 years ago #17

"Maybe I could have saved other females from this horrible excuse of a guy." You were a vulnerable, frightened fifteen year old girl Lisa...even if you had reported it there was no guarantee you would have prevented him from accosting other girls...a predator is a predator...usually a result of having been preyed upon themselves...or perhaps being witness to this behavior and thinking that is how you get what you want...by force. Whatever the case for this young man, rest assured he lives in his own version of hell too...not that it excuses his behavior, but it may explain it a little. I had an uncomfortable experience with my best friend's father when I was eleven years old...It was my first and last "sleep over" at her house...I did eventually work up the guts to tell her, only to have her reply that her father does whatever he wants when he's drunk...Besides, his mother did it to him. It's a cycle of learned behavior...some engage in it...some vow to protect others from it, and still others bury it for decades until something triggers it to bubble to the surface as recent events have done for you. By the looks of the comments, you have struck a well spring of memories for others...Perhaps facilitating some healing for them...So kudos to you for going out on a limb here;-) I wonder for you Lisa, if that might have been the catalyst for clinical depression. I know it was for me, because I kept it buried for so long...once you acknowledge these things, the wounds can begin to heal. Releasing yourself from the blame is the hardest part...You've begun the journey by bravely sharing your story with us...Thank you.

Sara Jacobovici

7 years ago #16

#22
Or child...sexual assault, abuse, is a violent crime. It has nothing to do with the sexual act except that that is what the perpetrator is using as the weapon of violence and aggression. Abuse means that trust has been abused and power or control has been abused. Public discussions such as these, Franci Eugenia Hoffman, will make a difference. Silence and secrecy will only enable perpetrators to do what they want. Community awareness and education are also key in the prevention of these crimes.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #15

#19
Very sorry that happened to you Brian Mckenzie, that probably speaks a lot as to why you don't trust women. Nowhere does this post state that 'ONLY' women are victims though. This was a personal story, period. If you read below, Dean Owen wrote a comment about being assaulted by a man.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #14

#16
11 women now? Wow... I don't keep up with the news because it makes me so mad. I will have to turn on one of the talking heads tonight to hear. One woman that accused him was shaking, couldn't look in the camera and had legitimate tears. Sometimes you can read people and just tell by their facial expressions, tone of voice and other gestures that they are being 100% honest. You were sexually assaulted by a man? I never heard about the Elton John incident Dean Owen, I will have to read up on that one. I WISH I could have kicked that guy in the groin but he probably would have punched me.

Milos Djukic

7 years ago #13

This is a very important confession for all men and women. A very frankly story, scarry and instructive at the same time. Now you are free dear Lisa Gallagher, my precious friend. Thank you so much, fractals like you are forever. Kindly, Milos

Dean Owen

7 years ago #12

What's the tally now? 11 women accusing Trump? And you see them speak up on CNN or wherever and you know they are not lying. I've also experienced attempted sexual assault, by a British politician (a man) no less, who bragged about doing it with Elton John. Needless to say, the only contact engaged that night was my foot in his groin.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #11

#12
It seems you may be right Randy Keho about the College campuses. I don't understand it either. I can tell you, after raising a daughter who went through her share of ups/downs with guys in her younger days, I'm not sure I could have restrained myself if I would have found a guy assaulting or worse yet, raping her. Whose to say how we would react out of rage and yes, fear for a loved one. I don't want to generalize on ethnicity so I won't mention it.. let's just say, I grew up in a town with a ton of guys who had high testosterone and their fathers were very proud of them. I think they wore a badge of honor for every female they went to bed with, whether forcefully or not. It's very possible the inmate was protecting his girlfriend and maybe he needed to use excessive force to stop the assault on his girlfriend. Hard to say if he intended to murder the person. I still see women speaking out years later and people wonder WHY?? Because women were made to feel as though they deserved it. It's a stigma we as a society need to help put a stop to. This groping crap with Trump (sorry, not trying to make this political) is unacceptable in my opinion. How anyone can defend his behavior, well they are only helping us to take 10 steps back instead of forward. It sickens me. Thanks so much for sharing your story and commenting!

Sara Jacobovici

7 years ago #10

#10
I'm sorry to hear about your experience Lisa Gallagher. It moved me to hear what that 15 year old girl had to deal with. All the power to you for being the woman you are and for the life you've made and are making for yourself and your family!

Randy Keho

7 years ago #9

From what I've read, similar incidents are increasing, especially on college campuses. I don't understand it. I'm sure it was going on back in my day, but unless you knew someone involved, you didn't hear about it. They went unreported. The women were often accused of "enticing" the guys behavior and ran through the mud in court. It still goes on today. Fortunately, I never knew anyone involved -- to my knowledge. For the most part, we ran around in "packs," groups of co-eds who knew each other, which probably decreased the chances of these situations occurring. When I taught English in a state prison, one of my student inmates was serving time for "murdering" the guy he found assaulting his girlfriend. They said he used "excessive force" to stop the attack. I have to take his word for it. I couldn't confirm it. But, it sounds like our judicial system at the time. I'm afraid that if I found myself in the same position, I'd be serving time, too.The world appears to be a more frightening place at every turn. Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #8

#8
Praveen Raj Gullepalli is this how India really feels women should or shouldn't interact with men or are they making a statement with this show? I heard this used to be the case in India?

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #7

#5
Thanks Sara Jacobovici, it does bother me, I can't help it. I'm sure I wasn't the only person he did this too. I'm going to bet he got away with worse, and I was lucky in comparison. He went to a Catholic school and they were considered the 'most popular' guys in town. They had no standards they were held to. It would be different today. There is another layer to this story I never told. Before this guy, I was with another guy. We used to talk on the phone a lot and yes, I had a crush on him. He came to my home one evening when my mother was out. We were kissing and suddenly he tried to unzip my pants. I told him no. He asked, 'why?" I made up some excuse. As soon as I made up the excuse, he stood up and left. Ok, I was humiliated but at least nothing happened. Or, so I thought. He told the entire Catholic football team he had sex with me. My girlfriend heard about it and told me. She said I should go down to where they were practicing and confront him in front of the entire team. I couldn't. I believe that's why this "Perry" guy showed up with my friend, he believed what he heard and thought I'd be easy. Yes, I had a reputation, one I didn't earn or deserve. I ended up going to our Vocational school my Junior-Senior years just to get away from the fray. I took Medical Assisting and was in a class for 2 years with all females. I loved it. Things have changed since then, but we still have a way to go as a society. Too many girls still have to 'prove' in the most horrible ways that they were assaulted or raped. It's as if the female is put on trial, not the male.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #6

#4
Thanks for reading David Grinberg, and appreciate your comment. So much went on when I was growing up. So many guys got away with raping and assaulting girls because many didn't report it. It wasn't something the media spoke of back then and many mothers weren't comfortable talking about safe sex etc... with their daughters back then as well. So, a lot was kept hush. I never told any of my girlfriends because it was common to call a girl a 'whore' back then, very common. I remember my arms and back hurt for a few days after because he put all of his weight on me. No does mean no and it's time more guys were held responsible for their actions. Thanks!

Sara Jacobovici

7 years ago #5

"Don't stay silent, never blame yourself and seek help from a professional." Wise words form a courageous woman, Lisa Gallagher .

Sara Jacobovici

7 years ago #4

Courageous story to tell and share Lisa Gallagher. I'm sorry to hear that your still haunted by not reporting. Don't judge yourself so harshly. It is very difficult for a 15 year old to make sense of what needs to be done in such a frightening situation.

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #3

Thanks so much for sharing this deeply personal story Lisa Gallagher. I always try to go with my "gut feeling" in life, that inner voice that tends to lead one in the right direction. Moreover, every man (and woman) should know by now that sexual harassment, assault, exploitation and rape are not only unacceptable, but UNLAWFUL! Perpetrators of such heinous acts must be prosecuted to the full extend of the law. Further, the so-called "blame the victim" mentality is an antiquated aberration which must be dispelled and discredited every time it is raised. No one should ever face a stigma for speaking out against sexual harassment or violence. Again, thanks for being so bold to share your story Lisa, which might encourage others to likewise speak out. The more people speak out, the more the societal stigma to remain silent is dispelled. Kudos to you for your boldness and bravery, Lisa. cc: Javier beBee

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #2

Thanks so much for sharing this deeply personal story, Lisa. I always try to go with my "gut feeling" in life, that inner voice that tends to lead one in the right direction. Moreover, every man should know by know that sexual harassment, assault, exploitation and rape are not only unacceptable, but UNLAWFUL! Perpetrators of such heinous acts must be prosecuted to the full extend of the law. Further, the so-called "blame the victim" mentality is an antiquated aberration which must be dispelled and discredited. No one should ever face a stigma for speaking out against sexual harassment or violence. Again, thanks for being so bold to share your story Lisa, which might encourage others to likewise speak out.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #1

#1
Sounds like a great movie Praveen Raj Gullepalli . I love movies that relate to real life. Not sure why there are some guys who don't understand that NO means NO. When I was growing up, that topic wasn't talked about much at all. Probably added more shame on behalf of females too because we were too young to understand that as a female we didn't cause guys to behave in this way.

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7 years ago · 4 min. reading time

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