#mueller

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4 years ago

MUELLER PRESSER EXPLAINED BY SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS

Patrick Scullin · The nation held its collective breath today as special counsel Robert Mueller held a press conference at the Justice Department. While the pundits debate exactly what Mueller said, press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders gave The Lint Screen her informed translation. · “It was pr ...

5 years ago

BARR PROMISES TO SUPPLY CONGRESS WITH “A VERY SPECIAL MUELLER REPORT”

Patrick Scullin · Attorney General William Barr is no Jeff "I'm A Recuser Loser" Sessions. Barr is getting involved with the Mueller report in a major way! · Yesterday the pudgy A.G. sat before a Congressional subcommittee and promised it that he would give them “a very special Mueller Report, one ...

5 years ago

Death Panels Formed For Treasonous Dem Traitors And Media Conspirators

Patrick Scullin · Robert Mueller has finally ended his charade of a witch hunt. He has declared President Trump innocent of Russian collusion and obstruction of justice. And now the administration is taking corrective action to ensure this never happens again. · “The president wants to send a mess ...

5 years ago

MEET MATT WHITAKER, A FAIR & BALANCED A.G.

Patrick Scullin · Now that the disloyal dwarf Jeff Sessions has resigned as Attorney General, President Trump has named Matthew G. Whitaker acting A.G. The Lint Screen met with Mr. Whitaker as he was working out at a local gym. Here is our exclusive interview. · TLS: Congratulations, Mr. Whitaker, ...

5 years ago

Mueller Admits His Investigation Is A Liberal Pot-Fueled Witch Hunt

Patrick Scullin · G-Man Robert “Big Bobbie” Mueller has had over a year to investigate collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia with bubkes to show (aside from a slew of indictments). Today, The Lint Screen caught up with the towering goon to grill him on his amazing lack of progress. · “I’ ...

5 years ago

Pence Warns Mueller: “Bitch Best Back Off, Or I’ll Cut You”

Patrick Scullin · Vice President Mike Pence may appear to be a mild-mannered devoutly Christian man, but don’t push him. · Pence lashed out today at Special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Donald Trump’s 2016 campaign and its ties to Russia. “I got some health advice for Mueller — bitc ...

6 years ago

Sinclair Scripts Leaked; A Nation Waits Anxiously

Patrick Scullin · A pint of Old Grand Dad, two roaches, and good old-fashioned investigative journalism by reporters at The Lint Screen has helped reveal upcoming scripts for editorial segments to be carried by all 173 TV stations in the Sinclair Broadcast Group. · Here are the scripts soon to air ...

6 years ago

Mueller’s Questions For Trump Leaked

Patrick Scullin · Thanks to the tireless efforts of The Lint Screen (and a blabbermouth we met at our nightly Secret Society meeting), we have secured a copy of the questions Special Counsel Robert Mueller will be asking President Trump when they face off. · Here they are: · 1. Which Marx brother ...

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