Overcoming Adversity

Someone very close to me grew up in an abusive environment and didn't receive a lot of love. For the sake of anonymity,  I will call this person Don. 

Don always aimed to please his parents and others. It didn't matter what Don did to try and please his parents, it was never enough. Don was teased by his father in front of his siblings. Don was abused by his father in manners I will not discuss on this post. Don's mom was also abused by her husband, Don's father. 

When Don was 10 years old he began to deliver newspapers, he even expanded his territory over a period of months to more than 3 miles because he needed to make money to pay for the simple pleasures in life that many children took for granted. Don's family was poor. Don would also give his mom money trying to help the family in any way he could. By the time Don was 14 1/2 years old he was working as a Gas Station attendant 35 hours per week. 

Don attended Catholic School from Kindergarten on up and by the age of 14 1/2 he needed to make enough money to pay for his Catholic Education and uniforms. The Monsignor allowed Don to work at the school in order to offset some of his tuition. So, by age 14.5 Don was working at a Gas Station, working at the School before classes and on weekends, and attending classes. Don was and still is highly intelligent and that helped him to maintain good grades without a lot of effort. 

Before Don turned 15 his father and mother had divorced. Don's father was only allowed to see his children with supervised visits. Don's father rarely came by and that was probably a blessing in disguise.  Don's mother left for Washington State when Don was 15 1/2  years old and Don was basically on his own.  Don's sister was also left behind at age 13. Don's older sister rented a home when Don turned 16 years old and he along with his younger sister lived with her for about a year and a half.  She was too young to be raising teenagers and had major issues of her own. By the time Don was 17 years old he found his own apartment and moved out of his sister's home. 

Don was still working 40 plus hours per week between his Gas attendant job and the school. Don was still getting straight A's despite the fact that he was mentally and physically fatigued. Don never complained. Don even allowed his younger sister to live with him for approximately 6 months until she found adults that took her in. 

When Don turned 18 years old he found a job at the local Hospital working in the Maintenance Department. At age 21 Don married the love of his life and had 2 children with her. They both worked full time and she wasn't aware of the many struggles Don faced throughout his childhood until years later. One of Don's sisters shared their family's secret with Don's wife. Although Don's wife was aware of the atrocities he faced while growing up and thought it would be good for him to open up about them, he did not want to talk about the past. Don's focus was on the future. Don's focus was becoming the father he never had and being a good husband. 

When Don was 23 he worked days full time at the Hospital and went to school full time in the evening to become a Biomedical Technician. As soon as Don received his Biomed certificate the Maintenance Department promoted him and he was working as a Biomed Tech. Don always went above and beyond the call of duty- he was able to fix complex medical equipment which in the past, the hospital would either have to send out, or call in an outside company to fix. Don's efforts did not go unnoticed. When Don turned 27 he was asked to apply for another position within the Hospital- Don was asked to apply for The Director of Data Processing. Yes, it used to be called Data Processing, which we all know as Information Technology today. 

Don had never been trained as an "IT" person and was quite nervous about taking the job but he did agree to it. Don worked 60-70 hours per week. Don always overcompensated to prove he was worthy. Don was afraid of failure, although anyone that knew him would have never guessed that. Don appeared very confident and everyone respected him and loved his personality. 

Don persevered because he was determined not to repeat the failures of his parent's past. Don had an "indomitable will' to live a life that was full of the many things he missed out on in childhood. 

Don's children are now adults who both went on to College and have excellent jobs. Don is very close with his children and wife. Don runs his own Company now and is still a workaholic. I'm guessing that's the one trait which helped him to forget the past while staying focused on the present. 

We never know what type of obstacles another has faced in their past or demons they've learned to overcome which is why we should refrain from passing judgment on others. Luckily Don had a great support system once he broke free of his past and kept moving forward. Not everyone has a good support system and this can turn into a life long set back for certain people. If we could all remember to embrace others as we would want to be embraced, the world would be a much nicer place.  

I'm still in touch with Don today and he is certainly an individual I not only look up to but I've also learned that we are in the driving seat once we become adults and how we choose to live our lives is fully dependent on our will to do what is right. 

Someone famous in Source TitleNo matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.- Robin Williams