Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago · 4 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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Moments Of Impact

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"Once you realize the power of focused human effort coalesced by writing or conversation, you will learn that being a person in charge of your life is the best gift you can give to everyone and everything you care about." 
Deb Helfrich

Writing has always been my chosen avenue of expression. Journaling my way through life has taken me to many far away places and provided opportunities to get to know many new faces. I write with the intention of sharing these little snippets of experience...Some are joyful...and some are painful.

In every instance however, it is my intention to provide insight not only for myself, but also to strike a deep chord within the reader. Often times, it is the reader who reaches back to me with a little nugget of wisdom of their own as a gesture of friendship and guidance.

One such reader and fellow writer is Deb Helfrich. Many of you know her as the "Insight Connoisseur." She is most certainly that, and much much more. She swooped into my world via social media and managed to peel back the covers I had thrown over my head in an effort to hide away from the world.

She whipped open the shades to let the light in. A moment of impact that has shifted the trajectory of my thoughts and my world. She too, was in a place of solitude. As we began to help each other rise up from the depths of the well, we  embarked on a journey together... lighting candles in the dark.


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Just getting out of bed in the morning had been becoming more of a chore. Not that I didn't have things to do. Getting my daughter off to school and my spouse off to work was a daily ritual that I had continued to do on auto-pilot, even as I fielded all of the other curveballs life was hurling at me in dealing with a care plan for my father in his final days. By the time he passed, I was plum worn out.

The alarm sounds...Shit! Not again...I just fell asleep for Gods' sake! I can hear the whooooshing sounds of my heart throbbing in my ears as I drag myself into the shower. I don't want to do this anymore daddy. How can I be only fifty-three years old and feel so completely wiped out? Don't even bother taking your blood pressure 'cause it ain't pretty!

I am slowly trying to get back to business and begin seeing clients again after having taken some time off to focus on caring for my dad. Problem is...I really don't want to see anyone. I do it of course...These folks have been waiting patiently in the wings to see me, but I am emotionally numb. My first client is the last one I saw before I took time off.


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I walk into my office and lean over her on the massage table. The moment our eyes meet she bursts into tears. "I missed you!" I feel a surge of pain rush straight through my heart and lodge itself in the back of my throat. It is choking me BACK to life...if there is such a thing. A real "It's a wonderful Life" moment when George Bailey is shown just how much of an impact he has on those around him. This young lady was my Clarence.

"Ohh, I'm sorry hon...But I did give your mom the name of another therapist for you while I was away. She looks me square in the eye..."I don't want another therapist, I want you." She is one of my sickest patients, and very much in need of regular physical therapy. I knew if she had not been receiving therapy for the last several weeks she must have been in terrible pain.

Dang...That lump in my throat just became an unidentified flying object. It shot out of me so fast it was like she performed some sort of emotional Heimlich maneuver! In that moment of impact, I realized I needed her as much as she needed me.


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Knowing how something is...is not the same as knowing how something "feels." This is the illusion we are all struggling with in our quest at being human...Emotions are so strong. What we see is not necessarily in alignment with what we feel. When we feel love, it is like being jolted back to life. When the heart stops beating it is love that breathes us back to life.

This must be what it feels like when the doctor reaches into your chest and holds your heart in their hands...caressing it, squeezing it...coaxing it back to life. A sudden gasp of air and you are breathing...Like being slapped on the ass the moment you are born...Moments of impact that bring us to life...None of which is possible without the power of love. We hold the future in our hands...Teach them love.

Children are the perfect example of how we should be living our lives. They do not judge each other by the color of their skin, or who their parents are. Whether they are black or white, male or female...or some variation of both. They are accepting of life in all it's diversity. They learn from each other and share their experiences expecting nothing in return.


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I can honestly say that I love who I am and love what I do. I always saw myself as someone playing the role of helping others. In doing so, it has provided me with a unique perspective on the obstacles that occur in my life that I find challenging to overcome. Rather than seeing life as a series of events that happen TO me, I am beginning to look upon them as opportunities happening FOR me in terms of growing into and recognizing my true self.

It is all a process meant to keep us moving forward with the flow of life. Everything else is water under the bridge. We are a well-spring of experiences with knowledge to be shared...And much like the promise of the "Cracker Jack Box," there is a hidden treasure at the bottom of every well;-) We can choose to let it drag us under, or we can choose to let it set us free.


Working The Buddy System:

Deb Helfrich 🐝 and I have started a series of conversations to bring more harmony, peace, and possibility into our lives. We would love to hear your voices and see your amazing faces too;-) Feel free to ask either of us questions or message us privately for details on how you can join us if the feeling moves you.



As you can probably tell, we enjoy the process of working together and are excited to present an opportunity to share some of our energy and insights with anyone looking to learn more about ways to effectively deal with removing the obstacles that prevent us from moving forward. So grab a shovel folks and let's go bone digging...Sometimes it's fun to get your hands dirty;-)  But remember...We are not just digging up dirt...We are "panning for GOLD."


About the Author:

Cyndi is a licensed and Certified Massage and Bodywork Professional, Writer and Energetic Channel in the Greater Boston, Massachusetts Area

Follow her at  https://twitter.com/cyndiwilkins12 and https://www.bebee.com/@cyndi-wilkins


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Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #39

#47
Yay! Deb got the ball rolling via LI messaging...Let's see if we can work something out;-)

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #38

#46
Yes I am. Lets do this I am on a holiday from next week. VACATION 😊😊. I remember this one buzz, a beautiful outpour you did provide insight not only to yourself, but also did strike a deep chord with us. Great to watch both the lovely ladies 🤗 again.

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #37

Thank you John White, MBA;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #36

#42
#43 Thank you both for your correspondence...No inconvenience...just curious;-)

Javier 🐝 CR

4 years ago #35

#39
Cyndi wilkins exactly. This issue will be solved in the next coming platform. Sorry for the inconvenience.

John White, MBA

4 years ago #34

#41
It looks like this account was removed (judging from the comment here it could have been due to spam). One would think that once an account is removed the comments would also automatically be deleted. However, that doesn't happen in the original version of beBee. I believe things such as this will be resolved in the more intuitive second release. CC: Federico \ud83d\udc1d \u00c1lvarez San Mart\u00edn

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #33

Thank you for checking...I just found it odd that this is the only posting that is unable to be deleted or replied to...I wonder if others have experienced this as well...

John White, MBA

4 years ago #32

#39
Not yet. It is a feature that will be added in the next release of beBee.

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #31

John White, MBA....How can I remove Comment # 38 from this post? It seems there not to be an option to reply or remove this one from the comments section...just curious...Thanks;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #30

#36
Thank you kindly for the share Savvy Raj...Always a pleasure to hear from you! I hope all is well;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #29

#34
Thank you Lynda...And yes, completely different personalities colliding with 'kindred spirits' does feel quite like a homecoming;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #28

If you watch the short video clip at the end of this article, you will see how simple conversation can lead to re-location...Just ask Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #27

#30
I loved Mrs. Doubtfire...What a daddy will do to be with his children. "We are human beings...and human beings are filled with passion." RIP "O Captain my Captain."...I miss you...

Joel Anderson

4 years ago #26

Cyndi wilkins as I watched the video with you and Deb Lange and your talking of saying what needs to be said , doing what needs to be done and seizing the moment it made me think of the Dead Poets Society. For a musical version https://youtu.be/G2e_M06YDyY?t=5 and then a poignant clip that underscores the essence of Carpe Diem: https://youtu.be/vi0Lbjs5ECI?t=5 . Thanks for sharing the video and the impactful insights.

Joel Anderson

4 years ago #25

#26
Looking at it now.

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #24

#25
What else can I say ...Other than you have also been an integral part of this journey as well...Perhaps more behind the scenes so to speak, but rest assured your influence reverberates all throughout this entire process...So glad to have you aboard;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #23

#24
Thank you Joel Anderson...If you haven't already, you might want to take a peek at the session I filmed with Deb Lange...The youtube link is below on my comment #13...I share a bit of insight into my last days with my dad...I know you and I have discovered that "kindred connection" just recently, but it strikes a deep chord on a universal level for everyone...We are all headed to the same place...Some paths we share, on others we separate...but we will always cross paths again;-)

Joel Anderson

4 years ago #22

Wow, some great wisdom from two wonderful people. Thank you both Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #21

Mending fences: Being in touch with grief...My moment of Impact...A beautiful share with Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange... https://youtu.be/QOQ9iFc_Jwg Thank you again Fatima Williams 🐝...You are an angel in my virtual world;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #20

#20
#21 Thank you so very kindly debasish majumder in his many brilliant posts...acting on the current in the "Moment." The only way to do that is via participation in active conversation. Moving beyond the "Read."
A lovely and enlightening post Cyndi wilkins. I love the idea of the two of you working together and find it refreshing. Great minds think alike.

CityVP Manjit

4 years ago #18

#18
Namaste Cyndi in it's truest sense "I bow to you".

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #17

#10
CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit...Now that I have given your eloquent comment it's very own space in my heart...I will attempt to convey the message I am feeling so profoundly in this "Moment of Impact." Let me be a bringer light into the darkest corners of my being...Let me trust that this light is to be shared among the others who are willing and able to accept it. It is a very powerful position you hold when you love yourself and those around you as a means of bringing more light into a very dark world...When you connect with the heart of others, you connect with spirit and ALL THERE IS to guide us through especially turbulent times...Whatever that may mean for the individual, know that what connects us is the truth of existence...It is the tapestry that feeds our intuitive fire and you must learn to trust...It is more reliable than any information you receive in your "external" environment...That is not denial or ignorance...THAT is emotional honesty in it's purest expression...THAT is self-awareness...THAT is truth...THAT is LOVE.....

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #16

#14
I concur this comment from City VP has left me in a state of "breathlessness" ...I shall have to percolate on my response here as I must first process that "lump" in my throat again.....Thank you for your kind support Sara Jacobovici....

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #15

#15
I quite look forward to those morning showers now Ali Anani...It is when all the insights delivered by the "Idea Fairy" seem to come raining down on me! Perhaps Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich won't mind if I change her name;-)
A touching post and is full of wonderful insights. Thank you Cyndi wilkins and no wonder great minds attract each other.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #13

#10
Beautifully expressed CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit. I am touched that I am mentioned in this comment. I appreciate the connection.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #12

Sharing Cyndi wilkins's success story.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #11

Cyndi wilkins writes, "...it is my intention to provide insight not only for myself, but also to strike a deep chord within the reader. " Cyndi has done both here, a must read.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #10

A very important piece from all points of view Cyndi wilkins. You are a true force to be reckoned with! Go Cyndi Go!

CityVP Manjit

4 years ago #9

These are deeply cathartic paragraphs because in between the difficulty of caring and a felt responsibility of work, I find you have written paragraphs of personal healing - where each paragraph is an encounter with this transition in your life - and I this is how I best want to honour each paragraph you have written here as the soothing balm of your own humanity - that you have allowed to breath here. It is not your mind paragraphed here but your entire body that speaks, and you have the right to this permission because in this transition these paragraphs are the you that you have let be as meditative ears. Amidst that which compels you to be in service of others; and in the slow grief of a loving daughter, such loss exists on its own timescale with an altogether different time sense, one that no one can know for sure how it will effect them or when it will effect them (and here Sara Jacobovici will certainly know these different effects and flows of time), for in these moments writing these paragraphs is a great kindness to human self. In these paragraphs of human history, love and memory I see spiritual lungs - and so the gift all of us can give you, is to listen to these paragraphs and the ruach that you have breathed into them. and then those who want to hear them, are the one's who can hear you breath Cyndi. I honor that breath because the most marvelous thing of all, is you have found the sister of sisters in a time when you needed a great one. I am glad for you and this relationship I see in the video that Deb is a most essential one - the right person, coming into your life at the right time - and in all this I see you both rise.

CityVP Manjit

4 years ago #8

These are deeply cathartic paragraphs because in between the difficulty of caring and a felt responsibility of work, I find you have written paragraphs of personal healing - where each paragraph is an encounter withtransition that is your life - and I this is how best I want to honour each paragraph you have written here as the soothing balm of your own humanity - that you have allowed to breath out here. It is not your mind paragraphed here but your entire body that speaks, and you have the right to this permission because in this transition these paragraphs are the you that you have given permission to let be - amidst that which compels you to be in service of others; and in the slow grief of a loving daughter, such loss exists on its own timescale with an altogether different time sense, one that no one can know for sure how it will effect them or when it will effect them (and here Sara Jacobovici will certainly know these different effects and flows of time), for in these moments writing these paragraphs is a great kindness to human self. In these paragraphs of human history, love and memory I see spiritual lungs - and so the gift all of us can give you, is to listen to these paragraphs and the ruach that you have breathed into them. and then those who want to hear them, are the one's who can hear you breath Cyndi. I honor that breath because the most marvelous thing of all, is you have found the sister of sisters in a time when you needed a great one. I am glad for you and this relationship I see in the video that Deb is a most essential one - the right person, coming into your life at the right time - and in all this I see you rise.

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #7

#5
Thank you kindly Robert...I appreciate the read your taking a moment to comment;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #6

"A temporary state of preparation to initiate or respond to impact." #6 Exactly Devesh...What we are focusing on here is that state of "preparedness" ...so when these issues come bubbling to the surface in our lives through these moments of impact, we are better able to "respond" to them accordingly rather than simply react inappropriately to the stimuli. Of course, we can always simply ignore it until it sinks back down to the bottom of cauldron...until next time something stirs the pot;-) Thanks for commenting...It really is through the discussion that we learn so much from each other...It is food for the soul!

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

4 years ago #5

Beautiful buzz But i do think that you are comfortable in thinking such wonderful expressions. So really you can assume it as the temporary state of preparation to initiate or respond to impact.

Robert Cormack

4 years ago #4

Good post, @Cyndi Wilkins. Enjoyed your writing.

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #3

Thank you for the share on this Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier...Much appreciated;-)

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #2

#1
Thanks for giving it a read and taking the time to say so Pascal Derrien...I appreciate it;-)

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #1

no particular comment on my end except maybe that I liked the article :-)

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