Patrick Scullin

8 years ago · 1 minutes of reading · ~10 ·

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McMaster Proposes Nuclear Strike

McMaster Proposes Nuclear Strike

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National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster has proposed a nuclear strike target to President Trump, a White House insider told The Lint Screen today.

The anonymous source said the target is the corporate offices of Breitbart News Network in Los Angeles.

“The General believes this organization is a clear and present danger to the United States,” the source said in hushed tones betraying Starbucks Italian Roast. “And although the Breitbart offices are in a major metro area, McMaster feels strongly that any collateral damage will be well worth the benefit received to the nation at large. McMaster said he is trying to avoid a costly war with a first strike.”

The secretive source leaned in and whispered, “The General is adamant the target be destroyed with extreme prejudice, which is pretty ironic if you think about it.”

Coincidentally, recently fired chief strategist Steve Bannon has returned to the helm of Breitbart.

“What a weird co-inky-dink,” said the insider.

There is no report if Trump is taking the General’s military advice.

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Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of ASO Advertising.

He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).


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