Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

6 years ago · 4 min. reading time · ~10 ·

Blogging
>
Joyce 🐝 blog
>
Latch-key Kids y Pestillo-llave Ninos

Latch-key Kids y Pestillo-llave Ninos

QbeBee

Succorstsl Personal Branding

Joyce § Bowen
Sut ent Amis Babee Ary Soc atward

ew dees con/gtorce bowen

He was a latchkey kid. For those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s a kid who has a key to get into a home when parents are working. No one is there when they get home from school.

Arthur was a sweet child. I wanted to gather him up and squeeze him to death. He was about eight when I learned about him. He was a friend of my children, and I immediately took to him. He was soft and warm.

Arthur’s hair was unruly. I took him to a barber with my children a few times. His mother was on welfare, which didn’t often give a family enough to survive. She did side work cleaning houses. I tried to help by engaging her to clean my mother-in-law's bathroom. It cost me $40.00 a week.

I remember the glow on Arthur’s face as the barber tamed his locks. His brown mop had an unruly cow-lick which refused to fall into line. He was really never a cute kid, but his insides effused cuteness to the max. I loved him then, and I love him now.

I offered to watch him after school. I wanted to offer him the structure he seemed to lack. He was an A student. I felt he was worth the effort. I brought him into my home, but as latchkey kids often do, he bucked the structure and the caring. He had become too independent at a tender age. I followed him home, one day after he refused to stay in my house after school.

I entered his home; he had left the door unlocked. He was sitting on his bed. I sat beside him and tried to cajole him into coming back to my house. He moaned his depression—this little kid—and told me he wanted to jump out his bedroom window and fall on his head and crush it. It was clear he did not want my help. I often think I was foolish to not force it on him. I was a psychology student at the time and saw the danger.

I gave up on Arthur. Years passed, and I had no further contact. My remembrance is that he stopped coming to my house. I lost track.  I once sat in our local police station and overheard officers speak of him disparagingly.  I leapt to his defense and said that Arthur had had a hard life, and officers should find a way to mentor him rather than speak poorly of him.  One officer hung his head in shame.

Years later, one of my sons came home and informed me that 18-year-old Arthur had dived, head-first, off a college in the area. His self-fulfilling prophecy had come true. He had not jumped out a window; he had climbed scaffolding and plunged off a high building--a college he probably felt he would never be able to attend. His family guarded all access to him, so I did not have the opportunity to visit. I didn't even try.  He was pulled off life support days after his plunge and died. The funeral was restricted, but my heart was there—breaking.

He wasn’t my kid—he wasn't my kid—he wasn’t my kid. Yet, why do I feel so guilty?

The only picture I have of Arthur is in my mind—and it is of that sweet little boy of which I became so enamored.



Pestillo-llave Ninos


Era un chico latchkey. Para aquellos de ustedes que no saben lo que es esto, es un niño que tiene una llave para entrar en una casa cuando los padres están trabajando. Nadie está allí cuando llegan a casa de la escuela.

Arthur era un niño dulce. Quería reunirlo y apretarlo hasta la muerte. Tenía alrededor de ocho años cuando supe de él. Él era un amigo de mis hijos, y yo inmediatamente tomé a él. Era suave y cálido.

El pelo de Arthur era ingobernable. Lo llevé a un peluquero con mis hijos unas cuantas veces. Su madre estaba en el bienestar, que no daba a menudo a una familia bastante para sobrevivir. Ella hizo trabajo de lado limpieza de casas. Intenté ayudarle al limpiar el baño de mi suegra. Me costó $ 40.00 por semana.

Recuerdo el resplandor en el rostro de Arthur mientras el barbero domaba sus cerraduras. Su trapeador marrón tenía un lazo de vaca rebelde que se negaba a caer en la línea. Realmente nunca fue un chico lindo, pero sus entrañas derramaron la cuteness al máximo. Lo amaba entonces, y ahora lo amo.

Me ofrecí a verlo después de la escuela. Quería ofrecerle la estructura que parecía carecer. Él era un estudiante. Sentí que valía la pena el esfuerzo. Lo traje a mi casa, pero como suelen hacer los niños con lengüetas, resistió la estructura y el cuidado. Se había vuelto demasiado independiente a una tierna edad. Lo seguí a casa, un día después de que se negó a quedarse en mi casa después de la escuela.

Entré en su casa; Había dejado la puerta desbloqueada. Estaba sentado en su cama. Me senté a su lado e intenté convencerlo de que regresara a mi casa. Gimió su depresión, este niño, y me dijo que quería saltar por la ventana de su habitación y caer sobre su cabeza y aplastarla. Estaba claro que no quería mi ayuda. A menudo pienso que era tonto no forzarlo en él. Yo era un estudiante de psicología en ese momento y vi el peligro.

Abandoné a Arthur. Pasaron los años y no tuve más contacto. Mi recuerdo es que dejó de venir a mi casa. Perdí la pista. Me senté en nuestra comisaría de policía local y oyeron a oficiales hablar de él despectivamente. Salté a su defensa y dije que Arthur había tenido una vida dura, y los oficiales deberían encontrar una manera de mentor él en lugar de hablar mal de él. Un oficial bajó la cabeza con vergüenza.

Años más tarde, uno de mis hijos llegó a casa y me informó que Arthur, de 18 años, se había zambullido, de cabeza, fuera de un colegio en la zona. Su profecía autocumplida se había hecho realidad. No había saltado por la ventana; Había subido a un andamio y se había metido en un edificio alto, un colegio al que seguramente nunca podría asistir. Su familia guardó todo acceso a él, así que no tuve la oportunidad de visitarlo. Ni siquiera lo intenté. Fue retirado de los días de vida después de su caída y murió. El funeral estaba restringido, pero mi corazón estaba allí.

No era mi hijo, no era mi hijo, no era mi hijo. Sin embargo, ¿por qué me siento tan culpable?

La única imagen que tengo de Arturo está en mi mente, y es de ese dulce niño del que me enamoré.

Copyright 2017 Joyce Bowen

4e81efb5.jpg



About the Author:  Joyce Bowen is a freelance writer and public speaker.  Inquiries can be made at crwriter@comcast.net
Sobre el autor: Joyce Bowen es un escritor independiente y orador público. Las consultas pueden hacerse en crwriter@comcast.net
My Patron site.  Please support my work.


""
Comments

Ian Weinberg

6 years ago #3

Tragic story Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee Thanks for sharing. At the end of the day we can't really change much. The heritage invariably has a profound influence on the outcome and short of that cathartic moment of insight and change, will play itself out.

Ali Anani

6 years ago #2

Sad story and I feel your feelings Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee for not forcing the boy out of his depression. It is a shame that an A student couldn't help self to survival
Thank you Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee for the shares, and thank you #1 #2 #3 for your comments

Articles from Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

View blog
2 years ago · 8 min. reading time

L'holocauste ne s'est jamais terminé. Il n'était pas silencieux. Vous avez ignoré nos cris. · Je sai ...

2 years ago · 4 min. reading time

I was unable to update this, so I will inflict it upon you again. · Disease fascinated me even as a ...

2 years ago · 3 min. reading time

Okay—so that isn’t the title of the paper, but it should be. · I’ve blocked people from my view for ...

Related professionals

You may be interested in these jobs

  • Cascade Ventures

    Sales Team Leader

    10 hours ago

    Direct apply

    Cascade Ventures Ruso, United States

    Продукты и системы SWARCO делают вашу жизнь безопаснее, более комфортной и удобной. · Более 5 300 экспертов по мобильности работают по всему миру над транспортными решениями на будущее. · Присоединяйтесь к нашей команде SWARCO в качестве · Руководителя команды по продажам (м/ж) · ...


  • Supplemental Health Care Maysville, KY, United States Full time

    If you are considering sending an application, make sure to hit the apply button below after reading through the entire description. · As one of the largest Healthcare jobs placement agencies in the U.Supplemental Health Care has been partnering with nurses for more than 30 year ...


  • Go Healthcare Raytown, MO, United States

    Go Healthcare is seeking a travel Occupational Therapist for a travel job in Independence, Missouri. · Discipline: Therapy · ~ Shift: 8 hours, days · ~ Employment Type: Travel · Go Healthcare Job ID # Pay package is based on 8 hour shifts and 40 hours per week (subject to con ...