American Grammar Checkup: Pronouns Revisited

About a year ago, I published a post on LinkIn on pronouns, but I've added a lot of connections since that time. I seriously doubt anyone is going to scroll all 330 of my earlier posts, so I am updating the information here, hoping that I won't see or hear any more pronoun gaffes such as "It's between he and his team." *

No, it is NOT between he and his team. NO. But if we see or hear pronouns used that way -- and

if the person using them that way is someone we consider smart -- we might allow ourselves to be fooled. Let's all agree that we want to be smarter than that, OK? Don't be this guy on the right!

Over the last 20 years teaching corporate workshops, I have seen and heard many otherwise very smart writers and speakers misuse pronouns without realizing what they were doing. So here’s my effort to help those who might still be confused.

Below is a page from my three-hour “Brush Up on Your American Grammar Skills” workshop that focuses solely on the four most commonly used types of pronouns as shown below.

And remember: Spellcheck will only flag the four above that do not exist. We have to know which pronoun to use in every case.

So which ones cause the most trouble?  All the ones in red, above.

                            me -- her -- him -- us -- them -- whom 
                                      and all the reflexive ones

For instance, too many folks think that "Me and John did . . . " is a perfectly fine way to start a sentence. NO. "Me" is never allowed to be the first word of a sentence; it has to follow the verb! And no -- we cannot write or say "John and me . . . " Nice try, but no. It has to be "John and I . . . "

Same with myself, him, us , or them . They are never allowed to be the first word in a sentence. Trust me.

The simplest way to work with most pronouns is to remove anyone else in the sentence and focus solely on the pronoun. Once you have determined which pronoun is correct, it stays that way when you add back anyone you removed. 

NO:   Her and her grandmother ate dinner. (The first "Her" is used alone as a personal pronoun. How do you know? Try removing "and her grandmother" from the sentence. Does it still work? No. You would never say "Her ate dinner.")
YES:  Her grandmother ate dinner. ("Her" is used as a possessive here.)
YES:  She and her grandmother ate dinner.

And the reflexive pronouns can never start a sentence either, nor should they be used as many are doing. They are meant to be a mirror image -- a reflection --  of the subject in the sentence (the same person or entity).

NO:   John asked myself to go out later ("John" and "myself" are NOT the same person).
NO:   John and myself are going out later. (Remove John. Is "Myself" really going out later? No.)
YES:  John asked me to go out later.
YES:  John and I are going out later.
YES:   I sang to myself ("I" and "myself" are the same person) while I was walking.
YES:  John cut himself while he was shaving.

NO:   Either Susan or myself will call you back shortly. (Get rid of Susan; which pronoun
          would you use?)
YES:  Either Susan or I will call you back shortly.

Now this is just a quick look at some of the troublesome pronouns we use in English; it usually takes about a half hour in the workshop just to go over the topic and answer all the questions! So if you have any questions, please ask me.

And if you'd like the quiz that goes along with this, I'll be happy to send it to you, with the answers. Just ask me.

That * in the first paragraph's last sentence shows what I heard the other night on the television news. It broke my heart.

********