When silence is the best answer
When silence is the best answer
There are more than just a few statements that revolve around the idea that the greater part of wisdom is knowing when to keep your mouth shut. And while most of us would agree with this idea I still find it interesting how very many people fail to follow it. And yes, this would upon occasion include me.
While it is my job to communicate sometimes the best form of communication is a closed mouth. Sure, it is my desire to help the person see the error of their statement or action. Though in my attempts to educate them, I can fall into the error of just being plain stupid, or for this conversation, failing to keep my mouth closed.
We all know that there are some things better left unsaid, but generally, we only notice them after they have left our mouths. Why is that? I expect it has something to do with 20/20 hindsight. We can see the result or lack thereof. Wisdom: the accurate use of knowledge. Or perhaps thinking before acting is a reasonable definition.
This same phenomenon also arises in writing, we all have read a post or a comment that we wince after reading. We wonder if the person writing it then took the time to read it before they place it upon the page for all to see. Communication is hard enough under normal circumstances, but when we add any stress or even a timeline mistakes happen.
So, I expect my point is when we need to respond, or even desire to respond it might behoove us to pause, ponder then answer. We might find out that the best answer is simply to remain quiet. Voiceless, pen un-lifted, keyboard unused and remain wise then to respond and join in the error.
Blessings!!!
in Café beBee
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Comments
Greg Rolfe
2 years ago #10
I am sorry to hear it, I hope you are able to bring about some repair to your relationship. I have said too many phrases that were spoken out of hast or ignorance that my more gracious friends chosen to ignore to my great benefit.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #9
I know what you mean! I've had the same experience with a former friend of mine from the US…
Pascal Derrien
2 years ago #8
I have recently experienced a bit of a fall out with somebody with hindsight it was not worth it and even though I was told I was right I should have been on silence mode that day :-)
Greg Rolfe
2 years ago #7
Hi @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris, I had the same comment from a local friend of mine. He too was concerned that keeping silent in a vital situation might result in good men doing nothing when it was time to stand up. In that type of situation where it is fear not wisdom stoping the mouth a reevaluation is indeed needed.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #6
I suppose it depends on the motivation behind this action (of silence). When it comes to something vital, we have an imperative to speak up, but when it comes to dealing with some idiot online who can't be serious about anything and utters shallow opinions about everything, then silence is the best strategy. Cheers
Greg Rolfe
2 years ago #5
@Ken Boddie That is sage advice. Indeed there are times to strike while the iron is hot while others need a count of 10 or even 20. I expect wisdom is knowing the difference. Thanks, Ken.
Greg Rolfe
2 years ago #4
(Silence) "is never misquoted". That is an amazing remark, thank you @John Rylance.
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #3
The old and sage advice that I was given as a child, before engaging in written comments that may be potentially contentious, was to “count to ten” or, better still, to “sleep on it”. I can’t honestly say that my general lack of patience has permitted me to do either habitually. I do, however, try and check my posts and comments, prior to publishing, for spelling, grammar and sensibility. Nothing reduces our credibility more than simple errors in our writing. As for responding with silence, that’s not one of my best traits. Despite advice to the contrary, I am often guilty of being one of the fools who “rush in where angels fear to tread”, under the guise of “strike while the iron’s hot” or ‘carpe diem’. Others may wish to label this approach as being “like a bull in a china shop”. Isn’t life just full of these little contradictions? 🤗
John Rylance
2 years ago #2
True, it is always a good idea to engage brain before opening mouth.
John Rylance
2 years ago #1
I wholeheartedly agree with your last paragraph.
Silence can be golden, it certainly is never misquoted.