Patrick Scullin

4 years ago · 1 min. reading time · ~10 ·

Blogging
>
Patrick blog
>
TRUMP ORDERS DRAGONS FOR HIS FOREIGN POLICY NEGOTIATIONS

TRUMP ORDERS DRAGONS FOR HIS FOREIGN POLICY NEGOTIATIONS

73ee68bf.jpg

President Donald J. Trump is a student of history. He has been studying famous battles and warfare and has decided what the United States of America needs isn’t nuclear bombs, aircraft carriers, fighter jets, or stealth bombers.

No.

What we need are dragons!

“I think dragons can be game changers for us,” the prez told The Lint Screen in an exclusive phone interview. “Most people don’t know this but dragons breathe fire. Not only that, but they can also fly! They’re actually flying flame throwers––and that’s a deadly combination. Dragons will be a tremendous weapon for us!”

The president has charged the Pentagon with securing at least a thousand dragons.

“I want a dragon force second to none,” the commander-in-chief said. “If we have a first-rate dragon crew, we can rule the world.”

Trump believes the dragons will also be crucial in some of his current foreign policy negotiations.

“Give me dragons, and watch Iran fall in line,” the big man said. “Dragons will also give me in an edge in my trade war with China, and in my nuclear talks with my buddy the Kimster. When fire talks, people listen.”

President Trump sniffed repeatedly and continued. “I can also use dragons to keep crooked Hillary, the looney libs, and Mueller and his witch hunters in check. They’re very unfair to me and my family.”

Asked if he got the idea of using dragons from watching Game of Thrones on Sunday night, the president looked miffed.

“Game of what?” he said with a quizzical stare. “I never heard of Game of Drones. Listen, I don’t want more drones, I need dragons! Get me my dragons! I can rule the world and the seven kingdoms.”

And with that, he returned to his throne.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) was a founder of ASO Advertising and recently left the ad game to write what he wants, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.

He has an upcoming novel, SAWDUST, and writes two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).



Comments

Articles from Patrick Scullin

View blog
1 year ago · 2 min. reading time

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene to star in upcoming production. · Attendees to last week’s CPAC in Dalla ...

1 year ago · 3 min. reading time

Ex-prez promises lots of stuff at his rally. · Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trum ...

1 year ago · 3 min. reading time

Trump’s butt plug speaks against counting all the votes cast in elections. · Texas Sen. Ted Cruz is ...

You may be interested in these jobs

  • Instacart Shoppers

    Get Paid Today

    Found in: Jobcase US 3 C2 - 3 days ago


    Instacart Shoppers Gilberts, United States

    FULL-SERVICE SHOPPER · Start earning quickly with a flexible schedule · Shopping with Instacart is more than grocery delivery. Shoppers help make our world go round. They make money, make moves, and make shopping lists come true. They make good time, make life easier, and make pe ...

  • GetMed Staffing, Inc.

    PRN Staff RN Night Shift

    Found in: Jooble US O C2 - 6 days ago


    GetMed Staffing, Inc. Marietta, GA, United States

    GetMed Staffing, Inc. is seeking a travel nurse RN Med Surg for a travel nursing job in Marietta, Georgia. · Shift: 8 hours, days · ~ Employment Type: Travel · Traveling with GetMed Staffing offers the unique opportunity to gain diverse experiences, both personally and profess ...

  • CareerBuilder

    Member Frontline Cashier

    Found in: Lensa US P 2 C2 - 1 week ago


    CareerBuilder Temecula, United States

    No experience requited, hiring immediately, appy now.Want to make a lot of peoples day? Our Member Frontline Cashier Associates are the heart of our front end. You play a major role in how our members feel in the club and when they leave. You might be the first, last, and sometim ...