Susan 馃悵 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess

6 years ago 路 2 min. reading time 路 ~10 路

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Thursday Thoughts: Diff'rent Strokes, Indeed!

Thursday Thoughts: Diff'rent Strokes, Indeed!

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All the way home from another excellent business meetup today in Rockland, Mass., I found the phrase "different strokes" churning in my brain. No, we were not talking about that landmark TV show that premiered in 1978 and had African American kids as leads, but in some ways what we talked about today did connect me to that show. The premise was that two black kids from Harlem were suddenly orphaned because their mom died, and their mom's employer (an older, rich, white guy) took them in to live with himself and his family. You want to talk different strokes, different lives, different everything? There was a lot of laughter in the show, and a lot of truth, too.

And, there was also a lot of laughter and truth at the South Shore Professional Roundtable meetup today, which was hosted by Bernie Heine and Paul Crossman of Professional Business Coaches. (Philip Ashcroft, the third amigo, was absent today.) The topic was "4 Neuroscience Super Powers: Yours for the Taking!" and although I wasn't sure how the topic would unfold or how it would work with the group of 7 or 8 of us, it ended up being a free-wheeling discussion of different ways to communicate to different types of people.

We all agreed that "different strokes for different folks" rules, probably sparked by Bernie getting an LI connection request from Tony Alessandra (The Platinum Rule) while we were talking. Yes. That really happened. Talk about timing!

Tony's book was my first introduction to the idea that although the Golden Rule is terrific, it has limits. The Platinum Rule just made so much sense to me that I adopted it on the spot (back in 1996), and I've used it ever since.

The Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.
The Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they want to be treated.

We almost used that as a jumping off point to discuss the four points Bernie and Paul had expected us to cover, although I'm not sure we always stayed on topic exactly. But it was fascinating to hear what the others (Eric Michael Cohen, Steven Saragian, Alison McCarthy, and Stephanie Lipinski) thought about the various ways we can succeed and fail when we're communicating with others, failure often coming when we're very different from someone else. DiSC漏 factored in, too, because even a slight knowledge of the four very different behavioral types shows us that we're indeed not all alike; what one person might want (lots of loud praise, please!) could send someone else off to cower under the stairs, shaking.

We talked about labeling things or situations as a way to define exactly what the issue might be (thanks, Eric!). We talked about how difficult decision-making can be for some folks and ways to overcome that, and we ended with talking about physical touch, and how critical it is for so many of us, although not for everyone. Heck, Bernie even brought up the reality of the reticular activator system (RAS).

I was in heaven! All these ideas swirling around, many familiar but several not, and all things I care deeply about.

Bernie and Paul (and Philip) -- many thanks for continuing to make the South Shore Professional Rountable meetup a must-attend for me.

Talk to me, folks -- are any of these ideas interesting to you? What else have you used to promote healthy interaction among others?

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Comments
#1
Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee, I hear you! And I discovered Tony Alessandra's The Platinum Rule right after he wrote it, and I loved it! It's a book worth reading. It's a real wakeup call for many of us! And thanks to a good buddy, I discovered this particular meetup group, and although I drive nearly an hour to it, I have gone six months in a row (we only meet up once a month at lunchtime). The guys who lead it make it worth the trip because their smarts are in areas mine are not, although yesterday I felt more comfortable contributing due to the subject matter. It's a constantly changing group of characters, except for the three leaders and me; I've met quite a few great folks and picked up a couple of editing clients to boot! There are meetup groups everywhere, so if this appeals to you, check them out in your area!
I so envy you this type of connection. I get stuck in a rut with my solitude. I think that's part of the reason I'm so hot about going back to school. The Platinum Rule sounds great to me. The Golden Rule is a disaster. We all want to be treated differently, so Platinum actually entails a thought process. I've tried Golden for far too long, and it bites me every time. That's because I believe it's the wrong approach. Bad habits are hard to get over.

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