The Space Between
In several of my recent posts, I refer frequently to the 'space between' our thoughts and 'things' and our subsequent reactions to these things. The question here is how do these internal spaces interact with and influence the outer spaces of our lives? The answer lies within the intentions behind our thoughts...How we direct our internal thoughts translates to what plays out before us externally...This is how we serve as portals for change.
This magical space is where we get to play director and 'take a knee' to contemplate our choices. The act of taking pause moves us immediately from a 'reactive state' governed by the chaotic unconscious, to that of an 'active state' of conscious choice. In other words, do we wish to create consciously or unconsciously the outcome of our circumstances?
In order to create consciously, we need to first be aware of the aspect of our personality being triggered by some 'thing'. I find the best results emerge from sharing stories with simplicity, so I would like to share an example of this process that I experienced while reading a wonderful buzz entitled Three Balloons, written by @Pascal Derrien. It is a wonderful example of how storytelling serves to create portals of change for you...The reader;-)
Pascal is a masterful wordsmith, weaving an interesting tale of three balloons, (of which he refers to as 'siblings') on a freedom flight as they rise above the surface of the earth. Ironically, one of the balloon siblings becomes entangled in electrical wires as the other two watch helplessly from above. And sure enough, another becomes entangled as well. The surviving sibling continues to rise ever higher, powerless to save his brother and sister.
Distraught by the loss of his siblings, he strains to hear the last message being delivered by his dying sister..."Promise me you will never stop starting."
After reading this piece for the first time, I had a strange feeling of 'distress'...Initially, I thought it just a 'reaction' to the balloon siblings loss...However, shortly thereafter the meaning came bubbling to the surface like gangbusters from much deeper within the familial well. What happened next was such a profound moment of change for me in my relationship with my younger brother that I felt compelled to share with Pascal just how powerful an impact his story had on me.
After reading this piece for the first time I found myself feeling exasperated by the 'balloon sibs caught on a wire'...Shortly thereafter, I got a text message from my younger brother telling me he had just been fired from his job. My first reaction to this was surprise as he and I rarely speak...I am not tolerant of his mood swings and despicable behavior when he is angry, so I have all but shut him out of my life...I had warned him repeatedly over the years that his brutal behavior would one day cost him something he loved....in this case his job.
Initially, I wanted to send him back a big " I TOLD YOU SO!" But instead, for some reason I went back to your post, (took a knee here) and read it again, this time while listening to the music embedded at the end of your article. Then something magical happened...For the first time in years my heart felt for him...I realized he didn't need my judgement now...He knew what he had done wrong and even admitted it to me in his message...He told me I was right and he wished he had listened...This was my opportunity to change my bitter relationship with him as he was reaching out to me.
The messages I sent back were full of encouragement and uplifting thoughts...(These feelings were evoked while I was listening to the music in your post) and I was able to have compassion for his loss, as he has suffered many as a result of his behavior in relationships...especially towards women. Now he was turning to me, a woman he has had a rocky relationship with for years...In my last comment to him I said, "Never stop being willing to start over."
Thank you Pascal..
for the perfect message wrapped in a beautiful musical package;-)
This story provides the perfect example of how we can create change in the outer landscape of our lives by being 'aware' in the moments we are triggered that we have a choice. My initial reaction to Pascals story was one of distress for a sibling that seemed to 'float away' on his own path to self-destruction.
In taking pause with my response and meditating on my direction, (in this case, taking another look at Pascals story and changing its impact by incorporating the musical accompaniment he so graciously embedded in its content), I was able to shift my mood from one of remorse to that of revelation in terms of changing the direction of my thoughts and rewrite my way to a new relationship with my younger brother by consciously choosing to encourage him rather than condemn him.
The most crucial element in every decision we make is the question we should all be asking ourselves before we engage in any interaction...Do we want to continue on the path of recycling the same energy in relation to whatever it is we are facing, or do we want to create new opportunities by always being willing to start over? You get to decide;-)
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