The Memory of a Slow Dance

When I was in grade school, we had dances in our school auditorium.

Girls on one side sitting in those metal folding chairs.

Boys on the other side.

A record would come on and if it was “boy’s choice” we would rush to go pick a girl to dance with.

Dancing to a “fast song” was relatively easy as everyone just rocked out with their body. 

We looked like spastics, but back then nobody cared.

And nobody blinked an eye when we said the word spastic.

But the very moment the needle hit that 45 and you knew it was a slow song, everything changed.

The whole atmosphere changed.

When you are thirteen-years old the reaction inside your body was something entirely new.

At recess when you saw Cindy at a distance, your young man imagination stirred.

When you and your friends approached her and her friends, every cell in your body acted like they were on speed.

You had to silently talk yourself into just being cool.

Picture a thirteen-year old Joe Cool with three billion cells on speed.

Exactly.

But then you looked at her and she looked back at you and smiled.

Her smile turned all those cells in your body into tiny glowing suns because Cindy liked you.

She liked you.

And you knew immediately you liked her and you could see her cells glow too. 

You weren’t sure what the hell was happening, but you know it felt good.

Almost instantaneous with the first notes of that slow song you were out of your chair nervously walking as fast as you could in a direct bee line to Cindy.

She sees you coming and is absolutely giddy.

You and Cindy also notice other boys zeroing in on her.

She keeps her attention on you.

You make it there just before Steve.

You ask her, “Would you like to dance?”

She shakes her head up and down excitedly.

And then you both walk out into the middle of the dance floor.

This next moment is the first time you’ve ever held a girl.

You are nervous as hell.

Your heart is hammering against your chest so hard you think your rib cage is going to break.

It will be well into the future before you learn what adrenaline is, but right now you know your nervous system is jacked up like too much Mountain Dew.

And then this moment when you actually hold a girl to dance with her?

Just. Crazy. Dizzy. Wonderful.

I reach out with my left hand and take her right hand in mine.

The moment of holding her hand is indescribable.

And then comes the moment of putting my hand on the lower part of her back and bringing her body closer to mine.

Holy Moly.

The small of a girls back is somehow sensual and I didn’t even know what that meant yet.

And as our bodies pressed closer together as we danced, you smelled her hair.

And you distinctly remember her shampoo.

It was like fresh strawberries and cleanliness.

You. Were. In. Heaven.

It was like no other smell you can recall.

It was all girl and young woman and a dream.

There is something that happens when you slow dance with a girl or woman that hasn’t changed in all the decades I’ve slow danced with a woman.

There is an intimacy and elegance that exists in this moment.

For both of you.

Somehow down through time women have been graced with this elegance even as a teen that when they approach a slow dance, it’s as if they knew the unwritten rules from Audrey Hepburn.

From my experience way back then and all the way up to today, this elegance and intimacy when asked to slow dance, transforms the woman into something possibly borne out of Camelot,  the Knights of the Round Table, and the love affair of Lancelot and Guinevere.

I don’t know.

But I do know when I asked Cindy to dance it was there.

She enjoyed the slow dance because there is something that transforms both the man and woman in that dance.

Last year I had the chance to slow dance with a woman, a close friend of mine, who had never had a man slow dance with her in public.

We were at a family outing outside where there was music playing, food, and kids going to different booths to play. It was just a really relaxed and pleasant afternoon. A slow song came on and I was moved.

My friend was sitting down working on some crafts for her kids. I reached out and took her right hand with my left hand to lead her in the slow dance. I put my right hand on her lower back, and we danced to the music while people ate and played with their children.

I looked at her as we danced and she was beaming.

I could tell she had not done this before and yet she had no embarrassment while dancing. 

She smiled the smile of a woman that had momentarily stepped into another time.

I could almost read her thoughts. 

Behold, chivalry showed up at this outing today.

I could tell she liked the elegance and intimacy that often is lost in something as simple as a slow dance. And to be honest, she was as elegant as any princess who had a Knight from her court ask her to dance.

The idea of a slow dance may be getting lost in the pace of the world today.

But really, it’s never changed.

The next time you are out with your wife or girlfriend and a slow song comes on, take her right hand and lead her out away from the table or area.

And then put your right hand on the small of her back and dance.

Wherever you are.

Because the memory of a slow dance will last forever.

For you.

And for her.

Dave Worthen

Author. Consultant. International Speaker.

Dave Worthen Books