Cyndi wilkins

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The Apollo Paradigm

The Apollo Paradigm

"To create a shift in mindset, one must be willing to act upon and embrace new ways of thinking."

Cyndi Wilkins
This post has evolved from the very many comments I have had the pleasure of exchanging with Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

If you are new to the conversation, you may want to review the discussions in either post as it will be very helpful in understanding the shifts in consciousness I will be presenting here for your consideration.


In order to understand the true nature of our pain we must first understand its origin. in this article I am speaking primarily of post traumatic pain, be it physical or emotional. Past trauma is exactly that...past. My intention is not to dismiss the traumas that many of us have suffered, some more horrific than others. What I am suggesting here is that the pain from our past that is being dragged into the present is our own responsibility.

When you are hurt, you can become very angry. Unless we address our pain in the moment, we will bury it...time and time again, until it becomes a thickened sludge at the bottom of the cauldron. With every emotion, every perception, every experience of pain that follows, that sludge begins to simmer at the bottom of the pot and will eventually bubble to the surface.


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With each uprising of this energy we are given an opportunity to address or ignore it. The longer it sits in the 'cauldron of consciousness' the more difficult it becomes to address because of our continual recycling of its energy...We build layers upon layers until eventually we have walled ourselves off from the rest of the world in a desperate attempt to protect ourselves from feeling any more pain. This process does not spare you pain...it just prolongs it.


 Unfortunately, we were never taught in school how to cope with stress or the chronic pain it can create. Life goes beyond reading, writing and arithmetic.  Coping mechanisms for stress are very basic life skills we should be teaching our children in grammar school. What we have taught our children and ourselves is that when something hurts we medicate it...and I won't even go into the vicious cycle that creates or I'll go right down that rabbit hole!


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So let us shift this mindset and start a dialogue with ourselves by acknowledging that part of us that suffers. When we are in pain we need to be embraced and comforted. The transformation begins when you have compassion for yourself and the pain you have created by spinning the wheels of the past. If you examine the situation closely enough you will see that those who have hurt you are most likely recipients of that same 'habit energy' of pain repeating itself within a familial pattern.

That is 'recognition'...Now we have opened the lid. What spills out is not going to feel good, so we will need to nurture ourselves with the energies of compassion for what we have been through...and also extend that compassion to the others who have hurt us, as they too, have most likely experienced the same degree of trauma.


When we stop blaming others for our pain we stop cultivating it. That is the 'release'...We are releasing the energy of blame. In doing so we transform everyone of our ancestors who have shared in transmitting that painful pattern of behavior. We have now set in motion what I am referring to as the 'Apollo Paradigm' within the conscious fabric of our ancestral family for future generations  of offspring.


What an amazing legacy of love and compassion you are now creating!  Sounds too simple right? Well, it actually is. We all have the capacity to to do this. The difficulty is in doing it when the need arises...and it will, again and again throughout our lives.  So be patient with yourself and dare to try something new. It has no side effects, other than perhaps finally allowing yourself to feel better;-)


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Apollo, being the Greek God of light and healing, is the perfect representative for this transformation of energy. 


Be The One Brave Enough To Fix What Is Broken...



I dedicate this buzz to my favorite PhD and friend in conscious growth Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Thank you kindly for your continuing inspiration;-)


  




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Comments

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #66

#87
Absolutely !...Creating those 'new loops' requires as much or perhaps even more reinforcement than the 'old loops' we are trying to replace...I knew music would be a part of your journey as well as the self-dialogue..It is worth mentioning here that learning to play a musical instrument, (singing is included as your voice is a most magnificent instrument) boosts cognition, memory, problem solving skills and motor function...not to mention a higher IQ, as music passively trains all of these areas of the brain;-) As well, I love my salt lamps in my home and office for the warming tones they emit throughout my 'space'...But when I need something more for a total body experience, the salt bath is perfect...A great treat for me as I live near the ocean...However sea salt baths work wonders too;-) The single most important piece of this whole puzzle I believe is the self-dialogue...Without that affirmation and support of ones self we cannot move forward...Self-reflection is a mandatory part of the journey...We can either do it now and move forward with our evolution, or we can do it at the end of our lives...and if we're lucky, perhaps we'll get another chance work through this thing called life;-)

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

2 years ago #65

#86
Hello my dear Cyndi girl Cyndi wilkins Reinforcement plays a very major part in cultivating the new loop or it’s just like a new sapling without sunlight or the required fertilizers. I’ve found salt therapy very effective and it’s mostly during a salt bath with some soothing mindfulness music and Reinforcing positive thoughts through writing a dialogue with yourself. Writing a dialogue is an affirmation to ourselves of the things we truly believe in and i think it’s mostly because our words come from a deeper consciousness of the things we truly wanna be, but just too afraid to do or admit.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #64

#84
A follow up to your comment ..."I read Apollo 2 the techniques you've mentioned I've personally tried 2 of them and yes they work." I'm curious about which two techniques you have found successful for you? Perhaps when you have a moment you could share your experience with them for those who may be on the verge of experimenting;-)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #63

#84
I am so very happy that you made your way to these posts and contributed your lovely voice to this discussion...And I absolutely agree ...these memories never go away permanently...for they are a part of our experience here in 'physicality'...However, when we become aware of these 'negative thought loops' and can shift them in the moments we are 'triggered' we initiate changes in our neural pathways to create new patterns of thought. The more we practice a healthier mindset, the more we reinforce that 'new loop' and we eventually find the negative trigger loses its 'charge' on our emotional bodies. Not an easy thing to do when someone or something makes you angry or upset...But those are the moments to seize the opportunity for positive change;-) Nice to see you my dear lady Fatima!

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

2 years ago #62

Be The One Brave Enough To Fix What Is Broken... Love it Cyndi wilkins I find this article a gem to anyone dealing with such situations and seems like every other person in the room including ourselves is in that situation every one of these days! All of what you say absolutely has been proved to work but what I've noticed is it never goes away permanently ! I read Apollo 2 the techniques you've mentioned I've personally tried 2 of them and yes they work. The effect of what ever we do in the healing process for pain, blame, mindset shifts are effective during the practice and may be a few days or months but it is easy for the negative thought patterns to crawl back in during to our default mind state. I agree that this is a daily practice to be carried throughout a lifetime. I am still reading and exploring this topic and I find the comments on both articles very experience oriented which adds authenticity to the crux of this post. Super happy to read some thing so fruitful from the lovely Cyndi girl :)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #61

#82
@Praveen Raj Gullepalli...You are absolutely correct in that the 'process' of recovery is 'not an easy thing at all'...However, the 'shift' in ones mindset absolutely is...It is a choice we make in every moment we are 'triggered' to ACT instead of RE_ACT to a certain stimulus...The difficulty is in maintaining the 'awareness' that we are being triggered and then perhaps apply this magnificent list of questions you have provided to your daily practice. And yes...there must be a ready, willing and ableness to do so. Make no mistake about it...This is a daily practice to be carried throughout a lifetime...So another question I might ask...Is it better to journey through life with your roll away luggage jam packed full of emotional baggage??..Or would you like an opportunity to downsize to a 'carry-on' bag? If you are so inclined to do so, I have listed in a follow-up piece to this article some very practical ways (I personally found very helpful while excavating my own inner demons) to assist in transitioning through these changes...ALSO keep in mind here, the deeper the trauma, the more digging we will need to do to free ourselves from the chains of our past...There is no 'magic bullet' to self-awareness...and you will need the proper tools in order to embark on such a journey... https://www.bebee.com/producer/@cyndi-wilkins/the-apollo-paradigm-phase-2

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #60

#79
I think the difficulty is not so much that people are not 'willing' to try...it is that the concept itself is 'culturally alien' to them...Depending upon ones age, if you have spent very many years reinforcing the negative patterns of thought created by internalized fear and stress, it is very difficult to stop those wheels from spinning enough to alter your course. It is a practice that takes time and consistency...and in this country we have been conditioned to do the opposite...Everything is rush, rush, rush...Where's that report??? I wanted it yesterday!!! You're late...again by 3 minutes!!! If you've ever worked a job where you have to punch a 'time clock' you know exactly what I mean. The stress that nonsense creates carries over through the years until we begin to develop the inevitable illnesses created by long term emotional stress. No wonder we're all popping pills. As if that isn't bad enough, Corporate America rewards you with a 'pink slip'...just in time for your kids to head off to college, your elderly parents need your assistance and the mortgage is due...See where I'm going with this? WE have created illness.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #59

#77
That is my hope too Gerald Hecht...It all starts with ONE;-).

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #58

#75
Thank you again Gerald Hecht;-)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #57

#72
Ah yes...I have read and responded to your comment on 'Phase 2' Thanks again for lending your voice to these discussions!

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #56

#70
Absolutely true Tausif Mundrawala...The 'shift' is easier than we think...it is 'staying the course' that is difficult...We need preparation and support. I do not know if you have caught the follow up to this article, but I think it serves as a useful guide to those embarking on this journey... https://www.bebee.com/producer/@cyndi-wilkins/the-apollo-paradigm-phase-2 Great to see you back in the hives;-)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #55

#67
Emotion in motion...This just gave me chills... "I often 'feel a need' to go up to a person and speak to them. Oftentimes, I have no idea what will be discussed or where it will lead. BUTTTT, it ALWAYS seems to lead to 'somewhere' that the other person needed to visit or to something that they needed to hear. This very often seems to lead to some sort of healing for them." Awareness at work. I have this self-fulfilling prophecy every time I write an article or engage in conversation...I recently participated in a 'live' podcast and had prepared myself with some notes anticipating the discussion about my work, but as you have stated here, the discussion took a turn in a direction neither one of us had expected....Particularly me. It was a defining moment in my awareness...If I was going to reach the ones drowning in darkness at the bottom of the well, I was going to have to dive down deep and swim along side them.That was the 'truth' I needed to share...Once I did, it set me free too; Thanks so much Deas Plant for sharing your stories with all of us...We're NEVER ALONE!.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #54

#65
Aw...Perspective is everything when dealing with highly charged emotional situations. My dad used fishing as his 'mental wellness' practice all his life...He had THREE daughters!! LOL! Consider this post my wedding gift to the 'father-of- the-bride;-) Congratulations Joel Anderson...It will all be over soon;-)

Joel Anderson

2 years ago #53

#64
Daughter getting married in July so have been trying to navigate the experience like a Marine Colonel. Lets just say it is not working out too well, and I am doing a lot of fishing. Looking forward to walking my eldest down the isle but holy mushrooms I have prepared for this all my life and still didnt see half of the fun stuff that comes with the territory. Lets just say your post was well timed. :)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #52

Thank you for sharing this piece Joel Anderson...It is a pleasure to see your face pop in here;-)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #51

#59
I could not agree more Savvy Raj...The earlier we learn basic coping skills the more efficient we are at navigating the challenges of day to day living...Life certainly has its 'bumps and bruises.'

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #50

#61
Bill Stankiewicz, \ud83d\udc1d Brand Ambassador...Love those Georgia Bulldogs!

Great buzz

Cool

Cyndi wilkins, I always learn something new from your posts, many thx for sharing Cyndi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Debasish Majumder

2 years ago #46

lovely insight Cyndi wilkins! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #45

#55
Thank you again David Navarro L\u00f3pez, for returning with your comments. I appreciate that more than you know. To answer your question about the 'when and why' in teaching these very basic coping mechanisms I would say it is much easier to learn when we are eight rather than eighty...however, you are NEVER too old to learn;-) That said, children are more likely to commit to a life time practice as these skills will come more naturally to them...Life is full of 'bumps and bruises' but navigating the terrain will come easier with the proper tools. Believe me when I tell you, much of what I have stated here is still very 'culturally alien' to me too...and I am challenged by my own thinking every day. It has become a rather self-fulfilling prophecy...So I know I had better be prepared to practice what I preach once I put it out there for all eyes to see...and none of it has been easy;-) I look forward to reading the posts you have provided over the weekend...It will help me to re-organize my thoughts once again in continued preparation of an up and coming podcast...Wish me luck!

David Navarro López

2 years ago #44

Part 1: Dear Cyndi, I am very impressed about how your mind works, and how elegantly do you expose your thoughts. From this post one can see you have not been reading and exposing some theories of a book. You know exactly what you are talking about, and are exposing your own conclusions. Bravo. To your opening sentence, and to your words " Coping mechanisms for stress are very basic life skills we should be teaching our children in grammar school" I would add a when and a why: Pain is going to be there, always, in a smaller or greater manner. Dealing with it should not be when the pain appears, but a regular mental exercise. Even if a child does not suffer it, it can be conscious that it exists. To numb them about it is a great error. When they see another's pain, there is where the teaching can be started. To deal with pain is just one more task which belongs to a greater target: forging your character.

David Navarro López

2 years ago #43

Part 2: It is a continuous and hard work, which can be either led consciously by you, or else, will be done by others or circumstances of your life. So it is your choice to get the best version of yourself. And it worths the trouble, because in the end, if one evaluates what is costing you more effort, it takes less energy and is much more gratifying struggling to forge your character, rather than suffering the consequences of not doing it. The corollary of it could be named the "water paradox" Only by saying the word water, you don't get wet, or learn to swim. To learn a language, you need to speak it. Nobody is genetically ready to do this hard work, and nobody can be taught how to do it. The path can be shown to you, but it is you who will have to walk it. You have to learn it by yourself. I am including some of these thoughts in a near future post, but in the meantime, maybe you will enjoy these oldies: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@david-navarro-lopez/can-the-character-be-forged https://www.bebee.com/producer/@david-navarro-lopez/is-it-pain-our-enemy-or-could-be-our-allied

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #42

#51
"An adult is bullied by other adults because he or she is good with computers," This is not so much an attack on you as a person as it is an attack on your competency...The 'bully' is most likely in fear of losing their job...It is helpful to keep in mind here Angelina, that people who engage in this behavior are only masking their own short-comings....Jealousy is ugly. Perhaps turning the tables a bit and asking the said 'bully' for their advice on some issue...whether you need it or not...might help to smooth some 'ruffled feathers' ...and remember, nothing is more disarming than a smile;-)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #41

#51
I am truly inspired by you presence in this conversation Angelina...Blame is a very difficult pain pattern to break. I refer you on to the follow-up to this buzz https://www.bebee.com/producer/@cyndi-wilkins/the-apollo-paradigm-phase-2 There are several links embedded within the first few paragraphs of the phase 2 buzz...and two more in the first two entries of the comments section. I hope you will find some guidance embedded in the richness of their words I would also refer you to comment #15 of this buzz made by Claire L Cardwell...where she shares her own very poignant insights...

#48
Here is the great follow up of this buzz by Cyndi wilkins https://www.bebee.com/producer/@cyndi-wilkins/the-apollo-paradigm-phase-2 It is a must read. I left a comment there as well.

#48
Here is the great follow up of this buzz by Cyndi wilkins It is a must read. I left a comment there as well.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #38

Just an FYI Claire L Cardwell...The follow-up to this piece will be published sometime tomorrow. I look forward to your input as I know you have spent many years as well on the path to 'RECOVERY.' You are one of my soul sisters;-) I hope you have had an opportunity to read the latest from Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee..."Dilution of Pain"...I'm sure your insights would be very helpful in his piece as well!

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #37

#45
Mind and body are a very delicate dance Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador... To master the steps takes practice, practice, practice;-) Thank you for buzziing by Bill Stankiewicz, \ud83d\udc1d Brand Ambassador!

Great job here , Cool 😎 Buzz 👍🐝🐝🐝

Delightful post on a fascinating subject, Cyndi wilkins. What comes to my mind is mind over matter and/or replace the pain with gain. A positive mindset can be a great motivator.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #34

#41
Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee you inspire me. You have turned your own tragedy into triumph via your love for your sons. Now you try to help others who have suffered similar circumstances with a compassionate heart and fierce concern for the well being of humanity in its entirety..It is like we are all your children;-) .A wonderful attribute in this growing field of raising awareness...And yes, that startle response is a doozy! So don't poke the bear:-)

Pascal Derrien

2 years ago #33

#41
you are so right .....

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #32

#39
That is why Pascal Derrien referred to this concept as 'culturally alien'...and certainly it is. That is why it 'triggers' us...It is presenting us with a pattern of thought in need of some 'alterations'...The healing comes when we are able to move through those painful moments without pushing it away. It's like a mother coming in the night to soothe her crying child...She cradles him/ her...until he/she calms enough to go back to sleep...We need to nurture our pain in the same way...If we were not mothered during our childhood, we must learn to mother ourselves.

I was once discussing childhood trauma with a friend. I often say I survived my childhood. It was many decades before I cleared the bases. There are a few things that I will never be able to change and must accept. The startle response is lodged in the brainstem from what I know. It is severe, but I laugh it off. It IS somewhat comical--ask Cyndi. In my discussion with my friend, she asked, "What about before?" She wanted me to remember happier times. She was a good friend. "There was no before," I said. You can imagine the expression on her face. Here goes that reference point stuff again. In order to recognize trauma, you must know it is trauma. Persons born into trauma know nothing else. I did not perpetuate what I experienced and had a wonderful childhood through my children. In a way, you might say they saved me. I hold on to those moments fiercely. And yes--I have always viewed anger as a primarily suppressive emotion. Anger smothers pain but does not put it out. I wish it did.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #30

#38
I understand completely. I would just like to share this one last thing before you go... Grief never ends, but it can change. It is a passage...and not a place to stay, Grief is never a sign of weakness or a lack of faith... It is the price of love. Be well my friend...Give your wonderful k-9 a hug for me;-)

#34
My knees are agile and my brain muscles are satisfied. I think I captured what I want to say Cyndi wilkins. The Panarchy has three dimensions: 1)Capital or wealth and I am introducing the social emotional wealth. 2) Interconnectedness and I am introducing the idea of emotional interconnectedness. 3)Resilience and I am introducing the idea of emotional social resilience. So, the idea of the emotional social panarchy is there and it may lead to the fractal emotional panarchy, part of which is the Fractal Pain Panarchy. It s crystallizing out.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #28

#22
This comment blends very nicely with this discussion as it evolves..."entering a rigidity stage and I need to study those ideas and find time and resources to put them into some shape." This is the next phase we will enter into after we have popped open 'Pandora's Box'...What spills out in terms of trauma is not going to feel good at all, so our knee jerk reaction is to become rigid with anger...We need to allow ourselves the time to find the resources to assist us in putting what emerges into some semblance of order...that process will be different for everyone. I hope you are emerging from your state of 'rigidity' Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...A good nights' sleep worked very well for me;-)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #27

#32
Yes, and thank you Gerald Hecht...It is in the growing awareness of these services via discussions such as these with 'real' people sharing their experiences and what has or has nor worked for them. It blows open the doors of possibilities. As I mentioned earlier, the manner in which we have been taught as a culture is to bury it...or more specifically 'medicate it.' You know as well as I do that is merely 'putting it off' for a later time in our lives...leaving it ripe to re-emerge when evoked by a similar stimulus. Harvey Lloyd gave a perfect example of how his emotionally disturbed students have difficulty putting to words how a particular stimulus may be affecting them because the 'core issue' has been left unaddressed....They then assist them by "putting to words and definitions to the core area touched by the stimulus which then relieves them."

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #26

#26
I understand your reluctance to engage in this discussion Kim Wheeler...as I too stayed far away from these forums while I recently processed some very deeply embedded trauma after the loss of my father. The pain was too great, however I found the use of listening frequencies very soothing. You are on your own 'unique' path to healing by the compassionate act of rescuing unwanted animals. Your compassion for these dogs is your compassion for yourself...as you have extended the warm hand of companionship to them, in the act of which you have done so for yourself. The love shared is unconditional. Your are creating your own legacy of love. When and if you feel a 'readiness' to engage in this conversation, I welcome your participation...Yours is the voice of the very pain we are speaking of here...provided it can be conveyed respectfully during the process of this communication;-)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #25

#27
When we leave pain unexpressed, it becomes more deeply embedded in the back of our minds. Over time, it solidifies under layers upon layers of subsequent experiences of pain creating what you Harvey Lloyd have referred to as 'Pandora's box'...And yes, we recycle that pain over and over to create a negative 'feedback loop' of pattern behavior. This pattern, given years of reinforcement, "overrides any higher level thinking." Ever wonder why it is that the experience of joy can seem so fleeting? It is because we EXPRESS joy in the moment...because it FEELS good! Pain does not feel good...so we tend to bury it. But the body 'remembers' no matter how deeply we try to bury it. Joy can certainly still happen, but it seems fleeting because the buried memory of trauma becomes the dominant 'loop'. So for the many of us facing deeply embedded trauma, this is a slow process, to be digested in very small increments. You will need to surround yourself with a support system as mentioned by Claire L Cardwell..This journey takes time.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #24

#24
Thank you kindly for adding your voice to this discussion Ian Weinberg has expressed in his comment...We don't want to leave blood in the water while the sharks are circling. The 'simplicity' is in the release...provided we have been prepared to do so. If we begin teaching our children the very basic skills of coping with stress from an early age, they will be less likely to bury their emotions when they experience distressing situations...And we as parents must allow them expression. Pain and trauma can still happen, but they process it differently because they have learned the skills to cope with their distress early on. Release in the moment makes the processing of stress much easier as we are addressing it at the surface level.

Harvey Lloyd

2 years ago #23

One of the things we have learned in working with emotionally disturbed students is language. We seem to have, almost genetically, a language skill of describing the pain from the existential perspective. Our students have a difficult time putting to words how the stimulus affected them. Almost as if the words are not there to describe the pain they felt. By assisting them to put words and definitions to the core area touched by the stimulus it relieves them. It becomes something they can work on in crisis. The focus on the cause seems to override any higher level thinking. They cant discuss the effect because no language skills have been developed. The words fear, pride and self preservation are words that emotions don't get tied too. The words exist but are not aligned with our patterns of response. Once we can make this tie for the student we now have a language set aligned with their behavior, that they can express. It is a difficult task.

Harvey Lloyd

2 years ago #22

This opens Pandora’s box of the mind. Facing conflict tends to have a cumulative effect as we develop habits of recognition within social spaces. These habits form patterns of recognition that in turn explode into our consciousness. Our behavior is driven by these conscious bursts of thought, not even realizing the origin. Others experience our behaviors from their own perspective and we now have the perfect storm. A feedback loop that confirms our bias within the patterns we have established. Although we experience the pain of the patterns we develop it is as if it is a voodoo doll experience. Its existential. Understanding that all social interactions are not benign but seek comfort within the patterns established is the first step to wisdom. Specifically in understanding your own patterns of interpretation. Great topic and discussion.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #21

#23
Well hello there Gerald Hecht! It's so nice to hear from you...Been a long time;-) Interesting you should mention 'muscle memory' here as it quite often occurs while in session with my clients. Generally, I am working on an area of chronic discomfort when an emotional response to distressing memory emerges. I always encourage a dialogue, either with me or internally, while I gently work the area. Some releases are more intense than others, however most experience significant improvement of their symptoms. I had my own experience recently as the memory of a fall that broke my leg emerged during an acupuncture session...I nearly jolted from the table...In that moment I saw a 'flash' of the accident while having the adrenaline rush re-experiencing the fall. When I emerged from that session the nagging ache I was having in my leg disappeared. That was an easy release as the memory of that physical trauma was close to the surface. I certainly have had deeper trauma emerge causing severe bleeding and pain. This unaddressed emotional trauma was buried so deep in my body it required surgical removal...I have been 'burned at the stake' before for saying this, but we can and DO create our own cancers. If we can create it, we can heal it....

Ian Weinberg

2 years ago #20

Wise words straight from the heart Cyndi wilkins Just one small contribution. The process of engagement with self begins when self is ready to engage. The degree and success of self-engagement also feeds on the potential incorporated in the heritage package. Best to work on small chunks and celebrate the gratification of small successes before setting oneself up to fail if we take on the big wound at the outset. Finally, we may never succeed in ridding ourselves of all the pain. But the increased insight and the string of gratifying moments may make it all a bit more tolerable.

#21
As I am crystallizing the "Pain Panarchy Model" your comment is just timely. Let me explain why dear Cyndi wilkins. You wrote 'growth potential' of dialogue'. Great so, we accumulate many ideas and idea grow like rabbits. Suddenly, we become overwhelmed with ideas and few of them capture our attention. We need to conserve our resources to develop them. But there are many interconnected ideas and we face a "rigidity gap" because we become "frozen" by them. Then comes the release phase when those ideas erupt and our ideas and resources are released. It is time now that we organize those ideas into new structure. I feel with the accumulation of ideas that I am entering a rigidity stage and I need to study those ideas and find time and resources to put them into some shape. Those ideas may erupt soon and I find new structures/ways to deal with them. Your use of the word growth evoked those ideas.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #18

#20
That is the 'growth potential' of dialogue...We never know where it will branch off to in the formation of new ideas;-) It has been one of the most effective pathways for me in terms of freeing myself from past hauntings....When we dialogue with ourselves or others through writing, or music, or some form of art, we are essentially channeling understanding of our inner selves through expression...That in and of itself makes you more buoyant with renewed energy. Communication is a very powerful healer;-)

#19
Yes, and I believe the panarchy model, which originated for an entirely different case, is applicable here. I thank you Cyndi wilkins for your elaboration and for the link. I am also entertaining the idea of the "pain panarchy fractal" and this seems to fit well with your comment. I have never thought that our initial discussions would bring us to where we are now. It is an exciting experience.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #16

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...The Pain Panarchy models perfectly what is being stated here in this piece of the puzzle... 'recognition'..."Now we have opened the lid...What spills out is not going to feel good, so we will need to nurture ourselves with the energies of compassion for what we have been through." Medications will NEVER do that for us...they are only masking our 'cyclic perturbations' that are coming from within. (see Randall Burns...I told you the 'rabbit hole' would soon enter the discussion.) When we medicate the 'symptoms' we are not able to get beyond the surface of our pain and explore the deeper realms where the roots have nestled deeply within the soil of our consciousness...That is where the growth happens...and growth can be very painful. "There is no coming to consciousness without pain. Contemporary society has lost touch with soul and the path to psychological and spiritual maturity, or true adulthood.’ Bill Plotkin, depth psychologist Another link to explore... https://thenatureofbusiness.org/2017/07/27/meditations-on-attuning-with-the-rhythms-of-life-panarchy-poiesis-and-presence/

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #15

#15
Agreed Claire L Cardwell...This is certainly not a 'quick fix' solution to a very complex problem...It is a life time practice...We are just beginning to scratch the surface here. The deeper those wounds are, the more digging we will need to do to remove the layers. Touching our pain is a very uncomfortable place to go...Like I said, when we hurt, we are angry...Small steps.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #14

#11
I am very sorry you are feeling that way Kim Wheeler...Your wounds must run very deep...Again, as I have stated in the body of this article, "My intention is not to dismiss the traumas that many of us have suffered, some more horrific than others." That said, it seems these 'clever words and rhetoric' may have opened crevice of light in that darkness for you. I read something recently that did the very same for me, as I too have struggled with the recycling of chronic pain patterns rooted in childhood trauma. Obviously some is much more horrific than others, but the message is still the same for each of us...I share this with love and compassion for your suffering. The 'Ted Talk' with Dr. David Burns I found particularly compelling... https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/cognitive-distortions/

Claire L Cardwell

2 years ago #13

Cyndi wilkins - I really enjoyed this article - looking forward to reading more in the series!

Claire L Cardwell

2 years ago #12

Kim Wheeler - I hear you, sometimes pain is too overwhelming to confront straight away and it can take years before we can face it and start to release it. I am speaking from personal experience here. It took me over 7 years to confront an excessively traumatic incident that happened to me when I was 23 and a further 12 years to start my healing journey from being in an abusive relationship. I have found that meditation has really helped me be more in the moment rather than constantly reliving the pain from the past. I have also started a course of NARP (narcissistic abuse recovery program) which is really helping me and am learning Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.. Like you I have had psychologists and psychiatrists tell me that I was delusional, lying and refusing to deal with my PTSD and many therapists have not been through the type of experiences that you and I have suffered. The easy answer for them was to label me with a mental illness and prescribe a bunch of pills (the adverse health effects were something else and made me even sicker so I stopped taking them... in fact through most of this mental health journey I have been drug free) Now there is nothing left in the 'pill pot' for me to take that doesn't have a severe adverse effect on me. Website such as Mad in America and Dr Peter Breggins posts on You Tube have had a really eye opening effect on me in terms of how dangerous and ineffective these drugs are. We all have our own healing journeys to take and we mustn't lose sight of the fact that we all have things to take care of whether it be our jobs or caring for our family and friends. Carrying on and living a useful life is key to making a good recovery.

#11
The experiences of Lisa Vanderburg are so difficult, but managed to deal with the scars. I hope you would share theirs.

#8
It was your focusing on the first two-steps that mad me suggest the panarchy of pain. SO, yes I agree with you that covering the topic is steps will be of great help.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #9

Ha ha...see, I meant 'stopped' not 'topped' ...Head not clear yet;-) Lol!

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #8

#7
I thank you again for your eyes Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee;-) Yes, I have topped short of involving all stages in this one buzz...as Pascal Derrien has mentioned, the concept is still 'culturally alien' too many. So I thought a little 'toe dip' more appropriate than diving head first into the deep end of the pool. I have found that when things sound too complicated you lose people...We need to learn to crawl before we can walk;-) Small steps... When my head has cleared I will explore the model of "Pain Panarchy: I am encouraged by the way these conversations are cultivating new ideas!

Now, that I know you read my message I am commenting on this great buzz. First is first and I must thank you for the great mention and dedication my dear Cyndi wilkins. I am deeply flattered by your generosity. You stopped short of mentioning the next two stages based on our previous discussions.. However; I am glad you did for your highlighting of the release phase inspired me with a new idea. If you just Google for the term panarchy model you shall find that it too has the release phase. This suggested to me the model of "Pain Panarchy:. If I were to name the four blocks or phases of pain I would call them: Exploitation or growth of pain, Conservation (recognition) of pain, release of pain and reorganization (transformation) of pain. If so, what research has been applied to the panarchy model would extend to the pain model. I told you that the more you write, the more inspiration I get. If so, I may consider covering the pain panarchy model in my next buzz. Surely, I shared your buzz.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #6

#3
That is so true Pascal Derrien...and exactly why we need to teach stress management in our schools...It really is a very basic 'life skill' we will ALL utilize again and again throughout the course of our entire lives;-) If we begin these practices while we are young, we are less likely to collect a lifetime of emotional baggage.

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #5

#1
Oh I am sure I will take a little dip in that rabbit hole at some point in this conversation Randall Burns...But first I need to brew a pot of coffee and clear my head. Stayed up too late last night watching my Bruins lose in overtime! Not a great start to my morning;-(

Lisa Vanderburg- your comments on this buzz will be valuable as evidenced from your comments on my most recent buzz.

Pascal Derrien

2 years ago #3

A fair amount of lucidity is needed to take the first step..... Acknowledging that's its OK not be OK in order to move on is still culturally alien to many :-(

Dear Cyndi wilkins- great post; however, I have just sent you a message. After you read it I shall comment again. Meanwhile, this is an extraordinary buzz

Randall Burns

2 years ago #1

Excellent post Cyndi wilkins So true in that so many, (if not all) of our "medical" issues can be traced back to psychological/emotional disturbances and inbalances. The issue needs to be correctly identified and not treated with "medications". (I know you didn't want to go down that rabbit hole but it must be mentioned). If you take apart the word "disease" you get "Dis Ease"

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