TEXAS ABORTION LAW PROTECTS RIGHTS OF RAPISTS SAYS LAWMAKER

Boy, howdy, if you want an abortion, you better not be in Texas.
The Texas state senate passed the restrictive Senate Bill 8, and Gov. Greg Abbott signed it into law. The U.S. Supreme Court recently declined to review its Constitutionality, meaning there are effectively no abortions in Texas six weeks after conception.
“A man’s seed is sacred,” says Texas State Senator Ray Wills of Laredo. “It doesn’t matter if the fetus was the result of incest or rape; we’ve got to protect a man’s property harbored inside a woman. Rapists got rights, too, you know. If we allow women to kill their babies willy nilly, who is going to inherit the world? SB 8 protects a man’s property.”
Wills explains the punitive action any Texas citizen can take against a woman seeking an abortion after six weeks.
“Anyone involved with helping a woman get an abortion will be in deep doo-doo,” Wills tells The Lint Screen. “It doesn’t matter if it’s a family member, abortion counselor, medical professional, whoever–– if you help some lady get rid of her fetus, you’ll get sued for at least $10,000 plus the legal fees. This law makes every Texan a bounty hunter, so we can spy on women and see what sort of sneaky shenanigans they’re up to.”
The Texan pauses and strikes a contemplative pose.
“Listen, I fully support the rights of women,” he claims. “That’s why I supported our troops in Afghanistan. They were trying to stop the abuse of women at the hands of the Taliban, a pack of religious fanatics. And as a devout evangelical Christian, I believe we must protect our Texan women from making the wrong choice for their bodies.”
He pauses. “This law’s a big deal,” the blowhard senator says. “We must protect the rights of babies, and we cannot have their incubators–– women–– threatening their lives. Babies need to be delivered, whether they’re wanted or not, and the women must become their mommies. Then, both need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and make their way in life without government assistance. Handouts make people weak, and we don’t want that. We got to save our tax money for essential things like oil subsidies.”
The Texan politician believes the new abortion law is a win-win for everyone.
“SB 8 protects fetuses,” he says with a smile. “And it protects the men who made them. I think all the little ladies will be happy us menfolk made this law to prevent them from making a mistake they will regret for a lifetime. We don’t want them worrying their pretty little heads on matters like what freedoms they got. We’ll decide that.“
The Texan smiles and does the Cotton-Eyed Joe.
———————————————————————————————-
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
Articles from Patrick Scullin
View blog
How could any idiot mistake these for “fan letters?” · Oh, that Donald J. Trump! · Since The Justice ...

Treasonous criminals will be rewarded if Trump gets elected. · On January 6, 2021, thousands of irat ...

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell explains the coming nirvana under Repubocracy. · Republicans ...
Related professionals
You may be interested in these jobs
-
Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist at CHOP
Found in: beBee S2 US - 5 days ago
University of Pennsylvania Philadelphia Full timeMaternal Fetal Medicine Specialist at CHOP · Location: · Philadelphia, PA · Open Date: · Oct 22, 2021 · Deadline: · Oct 22, 2023 at 11:59 PM Eastern Time · Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the Department of Surgery at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pe ...
-
Telecommunications Manager II
Found in: beBee S2 US - 5 days ago
University of North Texas System Administration Denton Regular, Full timePosition Information · UNT System Overview · Welcome to the University of North Texas System. UNT System includes the University of North Texas in Denton, the University of North Texas at Dallas and the University of North Texas Health Science Center in Fort Worth. · We are the o ...
-
Beauty Advisor
Found in: Jooble US - 1 week ago
ULTA SALON Derby, KS Part timeOVERVIEW · Experience a place of energy, passion, and excitement. A place where the joy of discovery and uncommon artistry blend to create exhilarating buying experiences—for true beauty enthusiasts. At Ulta Beauty, we're transforming the world one shade, one lash, one cut at a ...
Comments