Joyce 馃悵 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

4 years ago 路 1 min. reading time 路 visibility ~10 路

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Tears in My Heart

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I try to deal with issues that can touch all of us at some time or another. Here is one of mine that I鈥檓 sure others have dealt with

I dance between self-preservation and helping a loved one. Of course, if that loved one does not want help and the issue encompasses one鈥檚 life, self-preservation comes to the fore.

I see the image of a 4-year-old cherub in my mind. My son. I put him on a pedestal so high, I鈥檓 sure the distance made him dizzy. He was a gorgeous child in my eyes.

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So when I look at my forty-one-year-old son now, the image of that 4-year-old mingles. And therein lays the break in my heart. One is not the other. Two paths鈥攖he one I hoped he鈥檇 take, and the one he took鈥攖wo parts of a broken heart.

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Have you done such things?聽聽




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Oh, he works every day, but I fear his goals have blurred. He works to feed his addiction; a beast he鈥檚 struggled with before. Reach, reach; I can鈥檛 reach him. I fear what may be perceived as abandonment may be my only recourse.










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As I contemplate my options, I know I want to leave him some. Isn鈥檛 that what we do as parents? Worry about our children?聽 I want to leave him with a roof over his head eventually.


If this can鈥檛 change, then I have to. I want peace and lawfulness. Must聽we go our separate ways? Although my son impresses me with his independence, he is dependent. Will he survive on his own? Am I worrying for nothing?


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聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 Perhaps others out there have suggestions.


Copyright 2017 Joyce Bowen

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About the Author: 聽Joyce Bowen is a freelance writer and public speaker. 聽Inquiries can be made at crwriter@comcast.net

Sobre el聽autor: Joyce Bowen es un聽escritorindependiente聽y聽orador聽p煤blico. Las聽consultaspuedenhacerse聽en crwriter@comcast.net

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Comments

Joel Anderson

4 years ago #9

The struggle and balance between unconditional and unquestioning. As with you, I have a love that is unconditional. My challenge is in the navigation and tempering of the unquestioning and the distance that that brings. Thank you for sharing such a personal issue. It has helped me put some of my own challenges in perspective.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

4 years ago #8

#6
Be persevering!
Thank you, Jerry Fletcher. Sorry for the late reply--still nursing cracked ribs.
#2
Thank you, Mohammed.
#1
He just denies, denies, denies.

Debasish Majumder

4 years ago #4

Great insight Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the share.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #3

I have no suggestions first because I rarely give advice and second I think you know better :-)

Jerry Fletcher

4 years ago #2

As parents we love. Children don't know the depth of that love until it is needed. He knows Joyce.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

4 years ago #1

May the Almighty Lord guide your son onto the right path and reward you both with more blessings and happiness. Be patient, and trust in the Master of the whole Universe...for miracles do happen when there's unshakeable faith.:)

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