Success in Breaking Free and Moving on from Problematic Habits

Unhelpful or self-limiting habits can be quite difficult to shake, break, leave and move on from yet there are answers in our psychology that can prove to be the key to needed progress or desired success.

“My understanding of habits is based on the proven insights from Stages of Change theory, and approaches developed from that, to address persistent, resistant, harmful behavior,” says Peter O’Donnell, founder and president of Healthy Futures Group.

(Peter O’Donnell, president of Healthy Futures Group)

O’Donnell, a senior consultant for healthy change, improved individual and organizational productivity and a developer of leadership capacity, has learned in practice what influences our beliefs, tendencies, habits and personal development.

“My experience tells me that what determines successful behavior change is what we call decisional balance,” he says. “Simply put, the combined weight of the perceived gains and losses of changing versus not changing, make the difference.”

As for how that works, O’Donnell explains it simply.

“When someone has enough perceived reward for changing, and a lower cost for doing so, that tips the balance toward change. We all constantly engage in this weighing process.”

He elaborates with an example about health.

“I may know intellectually that I should change my eating and drinking habits, that I would probably feel better, and also reduce my risk of dying from heart disease, but that may not be enough to outweigh the ‘reward’ I get from maintaining my comfortable bad habits, plus the ‘cost’ of making healthier choices.”

The outcome, the math so to speak, is predictable in such a scenario.

“As long as that’s how my equation makes sense, I’m unlikely to change,” O’Donnell says.

Yet the weighing process, he says, is always happening in our minds and psychology.

“When my first child is born and I think about the importance of being around to witness and support their growth and successes, that adds enough long-term reward to tip the balance,” O’Donnell says.

In combination with decisional balance, there is a strategy that can discover triggers for decision making and behavior for assistance in moving past habits that need to be adjusted, discarded or replaced.

“One of the most powerful ways of helping people think about change is what’s called a motivational interview,” O’Donnell says. “What this involves is a process of guided reflection focused on helping a person imagine the benefits they might gain by changing their behavior.”

This process and enlightenment creates clarity and can inspire decision making that acts as a catalyst for new habit development.

“That’s what will move their thinking forward from an intellectual knowing that they should change to a more personally motivating reason for actually changing,” O’Donnell says.

Personal and professional reputations as well organizational reputations largely depend on the ability to unlearn problematic habits and access the motivation, both intrinsic and extrinsic, to learn and develop wiser habits morally, ethically, wisely and effectively serve the missions in our lives, on a macro and micro level.

Thus, better understanding the decisional balance that O’Donnell speaks of is vital.

Finding out how to leverage our decision making and actions for smarter living, for both the short and long term, with more credible rewards can lead to another giant step in the right direction.

Working with the tool of motivational interviewing can bring into clear view the drivers of behavior that can reliably improve our decision making and actions in the direction that will help us move away from the unhealthy or pointless habits and towards the ones that can create the outcomes we need, want or both.

Michael Toebe is a specialist for reputation, professional relationships communication and wiser crisis management, serving individuals and organizations. He writes the Red Diamonds Newsletter, a weekly publication on Medium that covers communication, decision making, behavior, conflict, courage, resilience, reputation and crisis, and also hosts the Red Diamonds Podcast with Michael Toebe.