Virag馃悵 G.

5 years ago 路 1 min. reading time 路 visibility ~100 路

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Sometimes it takes time to set yourself free...


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This is me.

After my first ever Gaga, dance class. After my 3rd dance class ever since I stepped away from the world that gave me a lot but perhaps hurt me more.

I don't know about you, but I spent more than half of my life fulfilling demands, fulfilling instructions and other people's dreams. I wore tight leotards when all I wanted to wear was a loose t-shirt. I fixed my hair in a neat bun when all I wanted was to cut it short.

I loved the stage. I loved the wigs and tutus. I loved that image that came with being a ballerina. I loved the identity it gave me. I loved that people looked up to us no matter what we did; being a ballerina made us unique.

But I always missed being normal. I always felt that I might not be the person who can be instructed for a life. So I danced until my soul could bear the tight leotards, pulled in stomachs, and smiles when I was ready to cry.

For the last eight years, I consciously ignored my desire to dance. I did not go to any classes; first, because it hurt, then because my body wasn't the same anymore so I was scared, then because I wanted to figure out who am I without my ballet past - and as for last, because I didn't want to wear a leotard ever again.

Today I went to my first ever Gaga class. The third class since I stopped wearing a leotard that pressed down anything that makes us normal.

And I am in love. Love with the freedom Gaga gave me. Love my new body that and my confidence in each part of it. I love that I wore a loose t-shirt and three times bigger pants. I love that I let my hair out freely and that I did not need to smile when I did not want.

After eight years, this one Gaga class gave me the freedom I was always seeking. I understood more about my body today than during my whole rigorous dancer education. I understood that there is something amazing about change, and when we let change happen to us

So many of us stay in that tight leotard we force on ourselves - because, we get used to it, we feel too comfortable to leave.

But don't stay because you got used it; because it is too comfortable. Wear that damn loose t-shirt and go free.

-------- But remember, freedom comes at a price: today's freedom will give me tremendous muscle ache by tomorrow morning. But once the ache is gone, all that stays is what I was seeking: the freedom...





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Virag馃悵 G.

4 years ago #9

#22
totally!

Sara Jacobovici

5 years ago #8

#14
#20 I couldn't be more impressed or grateful for your ability to "get it" and "communicate it" in your unique and powerful way CityVP Manjit. It is because of what you have connected to that I went into the field of Music Therapy and trained in collaboration with Art Therapists and Dance/Movement Therapists. That was over 30 years ago. What has been exciting to witness is that using, in this instance, the body through movement and dance, and taking it out of the health and mental health institutional community and into the mainstream and flow of our lives, enables us to return to our organic nature and get our bodies "in sync" with our minds. Anyway, you said it better than me. Thanks again Manjit.

CityVP Manjit

5 years ago #7

#18
Virag, this is what Naharin is quoted as saying about fear : [ ..." I don鈥檛 think I鈥檝e gotten rid of my fear. I鈥檓 actually aware of the fear. Sometimes I enjoy being afraid. It鈥檚 less a matter of getting rid of the fear and more a matter of knowing that it鈥檚 all right to be afraid "... ] from http://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/famed-choreographer-still-feels-the-fear-1.423779 You have already confronted the primary fear and stepped forward, what I am enjoying tonight finding out about Naharin is that his thoughts recognize the body is alive and that he see's dance as a living expression. That is why when he says "sometimes I enjoy being afraid", he is so in tune and touch with his body that he reads and recognizes what his body tells him - this is a marvelous faculty. In discussing these things we use our head rather than our body - but when I think I notice most my fingers moving - my brain then serves my fingers and in that I know thoughts have traveled up both my arms to deposit thoughts. There are very few people who think of the body as vessel of intelligence, Bruce Lee was one of the rare people who understood putting great meaning to body and this is explored in The Art of Expressing the Human Body" http://bit.ly/2g4GuUb whereas Bruce Lee took that body intelligence into martial arts, Narahin has taken it into dance - and that is why I grasp his greatness. When we are scared, it is the foundation of what we are walking into that matters, the foundation that you have had the courage to walk into is full of meaning and spirit, courage that takes us into emptiness is blind folly, courage that takes us into life is why I am happy for you - this form of courage has meaning and in that meaning one finds their freedom, and then sometimes as Narahin says he enjoys being afraid and that it is all right to be afraid.

Virag馃悵 G.

5 years ago #6

#14
Ohad Naharin is a genius who goes against all mainstream. Making his dancers go out of the ballet training towards a movement that is fully pushing their bodies into unknown areas, is simply courageous. And it works. The video clip you've shared with me is incredible, and I have seen it before. Thank you for sharing. Going for a Gaga class for me was scary --- especially after 8 years of no training. But stepping into the 'scary' is where is start to grow.

Virag馃悵 G.

5 years ago #5

Thank you for all of your for reading it, and sharing your kind thoughts. Aren't we all in the same boat after all? :-)

CityVP Manjit

5 years ago #4

Oh! Virag Gulyas what have you unleashed here ! You have just put the name Ohad Naharin smack bang into my vocabulary, for when you mentioned freedom, it overwhelmed me to know the extent of freedom as dance philosophy this is. Incredible! I just ran the film trailer for Mr.Gaga and a whole new world opened up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6gd8xpFMsM a world that I love where freedom is tattooed as a way, as an expression, as a force that is born from a rigid culture, freeing itself from a constraint. This reminds me of the antonym side of the movie Whiplash - where Whiplash dictates a passionate man who loves drumming and is grounded into submission by a ruthless teacher - and the antonym here is Mr.Gaga - a dance expression that releases the ruthless world of dance. We already know what it takes to become a professional ballerina, the immeasurable sacrifice, the dream that is chased by many girls but then funneled into a excruciating and demanding test to emerge with the few and not many. Cue the movie Flashdance - but Flashdance was not about creating something new, but another recital of the hero's journey. For sure it dealt with class but it was not a philosophy and it certainly did not offer any form of freedom. You should feel justifiably liberated because you are clearly an early adopter of this transformation, this giving dance back to the people, the loosening of rigidity, the renewal of form and function, to exercise what one actually loves about this passion. The more I read http://www.danceadvantage.net/questions-about-gaga/ and http://gagapeople.com/english/ the more I honour your post and I thank you for opening the curtain for me and I say kudos to you for embracing this, for this is truly freedom.

Sara Jacobovici

5 years ago #3

Virag Gulyas tells how she found her freedom.

Sara Jacobovici

5 years ago #2

You are a great storyteller Virag Gulyas and it always feels like it's coming straight from the heart. Because one of my pillars of life is movement (paradox intended), you made me think that it is not simply the freedom to move but how to move that makes the difference; the freedom lies in choosing the how. The other thing that I found "moving" in your story is when you say, "I understood more about my body today than during my whole rigorous dancer education.". Again, here the education lies in the freedom of movement and the understanding that results from that. Wow! Thank you for sharing your amazing life experience Virag and wishing you from strength to strength.

Virag馃悵 G.

5 years ago #1

#6
haha. Nope. "Gaga is a movement language developed by Ohad Naharin in Israel to help dancers (and non-dancers alike) reconnect to the way they move."

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