David B. Grinberg

7 years ago · 3 min. reading time · ~100 ·

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Social Media Success Secrets Posthumously from Dale Carnegie

Social Media Success Secrets Posthumously from Dale Carnegie

“the only way on
earth to
influence the
other fellow is to
talk about what
he wants and
show him how to
getit.”

Dale Carnegie
How to Win Friends and
Influence People (1936)During the 1930s, the late and great human relations expert, Dale Carnegie, wrote the following in his groundbreaking self-help book, How to Win Friends and Influence People:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

The best-selling book, spanning several generations, is described on Amazon.com as, "rock-solid, time-tested advice [which] has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives." The revised version is said to "help you achieve your maximum potential throughout the next century!"

In fact, I meticulously read Carnegie's books in college with a yellow highlighter and reviewed his principles often. His keen human relations and networking insights proved successful in helping me navigate my way in high-profile jobs at a young age (early 20s), including in the White House and Congress.

Carnegie articulated his profound principles on human relations more than half a century before the advent of social media. Nevertheless, some of his life lessons still hold true in today's fast evolving mobile, digital and virtual high-tech world -- and one important lesson is especially applicable to social media.

This is significant as the global growth of social media continues to skyrocket, with hundreds of millions of people joining mega-platforms.

But what unique knowledge did Carnegie impart so long ago which also applies to online interaction in the modern 21st century Information Age? It's worth noting that Carnegie's books and Dale Carnegie Training are still popular among some Fortune 500 companies and other organizations worldwide.

"If you want to gather
honey, don’t kick over the
beehive.”

—Dale Carnegie

No “Me” in Social Media

Today, Carnegie would have likely pointed out there's no “me” in social media. He probably would have said: It's NOT ABOUT YOU! It’s about everyone else!

Moreover, I surmise he would have urged social media users to always be kind, polite and help others as a first resort. This, in turn, contributes to building one's professional network and achieving social success.

While this might sound easy in theory, what does it mean in practice?

The so-called conventional wisdom  ( or "Social Media 101") is that you should be following, friending, connecting, retweeting, pinning, sharing, liking, commenting and promoting other people’s content at a much higher rate than your own. Dale Carnegie knew long ago that it's essential to focus on the intricacies of human nature and social interactions on a very personal level to help get ahead.

One of his mantras is to always understand and seriously consider the other person’s viewpoint, as well as your own. Then act accordingly. Don't fall into the troubling trap of tunnel vision.

social.
“me edia

nar Coa: B

The late Robin Fray Carey, former CEO and co-founder of Social Media Today LLC, once offered me this advice about gaining social influence:

"One earns influence by thinking, leading and sharing."

She also gave me this sage advice:

  • "First, you must have a point of view, and durable influence derives from that point of view being authentically yours."
  • "Second, you have to seek out others and engage with them to lead the conversation."
  • "Third, you have to be willing to step in and share those opinions that you endorse."

The Engagement, Stupid

When I worked on Bill Clinton’s first presidential campaign in the early 1990s, his famed campaign manager, James Carville, condensed the main message into a simple and oft repeated phrase which was prominently posted at campaign HQ in Arkansas: “The economy, stupid!”

Similarly, when it comes to social media, the same rule applies to building one's network and being successful:

The engagement, stupid!

Dale Carnegie enunciated the utmost importance of personal engagement by taking a genuine interest in the lives of others. He also wrote the following timeless words of wisdom which apply to social media today:

  • “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”
  • “The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”
  • “People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves -- morning, noon and after dinner."

Help Me Help You!

Carnegie understood that the real magic in human relations can be boiled down to the overriding premise: help me help you! This is the same today whether it regards face to face negotiations, networking or via social media interaction.

If Carnegie were alive today, he probably would have repeated this priceless principle about social media success ad nauseam: help me help YOU, not the other way around.

Additionally, studies and anecdotal evidence have shown that when someone helps you professionally once or twice, they may develop and internal commitment to your success because they become somewhat vested in it – perhaps even on a subconscious level.

Therefore, if you want to obtain more social media success and influence, then keep in mind some of the timeless advice preached by the late, great Dale Carnegie.

Always remember: It's not about YOU!

Now, how may I help?

____________________________________________________________________________________

~
\&2
BaDavid is a global brand ambassador for beBee. His work experience includes the White House, U.S. Congress, federal government agencies, national news media and elsewhere. In addition to beBee, you can find David buzzing around on Twitter, Medium and LinkedIn.

NOTE:
All views and opinions are those of the author only and not official statements or endorsements of any public sector employer, private sector employer, organization or political entity. 





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Comments

David B. Grinberg

6 years ago #9

Many thanks to all for your valuable and insightful comments, in addition to your kind words -- for which I' flattered. I'm also very grateful for the tremendous outpouring of gracious support and pleased this blogging buzz struck a chord with so many bees. Carpe diem!

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #8

Thanks so much, as always, for your exemplary feedback CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit. I really appreciate your important insights, as well as those below...

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #7

...And belated thanks to Sarah Elkins

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #6

T he exemplaryAnasish majumder Donna-Luisa Eversley

CityVP Manjit

7 years ago #5

There were two people who played off the name of Andrew Carnegie. One of them was Napoleon Hill who wrote "Think and Grow Rich" (what he claimed was a figament of his imagination but he did write a very imaginative book) and the other was Dale Carnagey - one of the best sales people the 20th Century produced - and to make his brand look good, he changed his last name to Carnegie - to provide a better personal branding. Before the Dale Carnegie organization is formed, he pays a visit to an educator called Ralph C. Smedley, and taps his brains about public speaking and other educational matters before getting into that business. Who is Smedley? He was the unassuming and totally authentic man who was bonafide educator and who founded an organization called Toastmasters International. The bottom line is if one is in the sales or persuasion game, Carnegie has a lot to offer. Now if the whole purpose of social media is selling then I am glad that this success is happening well outside my personal space - for if one is in the spin you are spun and won't recognize being spun or spinning others. The Earth spins at about 1040 miles per hour but on Earth we feel like we are not moving or just walking - and social media is the same except what is spinning isn't physical earth but virtual mind. Carnegie is worth a read in the 24/7 world of spin and influence. My perspective here is only as wise as the Beatles "Fool on the Hill". In the world of knowledge, there are ways of making that spin manageable - Clay Shirky called information overload "filter failure:" Now we have opened the world influence and attention to everyone - I will get back on that hill the Beatles sang about.

Sarah Elkins

7 years ago #4

#36
More water pistols! More cow bell! Humor is definitely the way to get people to engage. I've found it can be more difficult lately because of the hyper-sensitivity around all things cultural. Still, making people laugh will go a long way toward genuine engagement.

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #3

Many thanks fellow bees for your positive social engagement with this post. I'm most grateful, as always, for your exemplary feedback: Gert Scholtz If I inadvertently miss any of your sweet honey, please tag or message me.

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #2

Just a note of thanks for your exemplary comments and positive social engagement, which is very much appreciated! Lisa Gallagher

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #1

FYI - John White, MBA

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