Russians Open Consumer Tech Services Company
Capitalizing on its success in hacking political email accounts, a new Russian enterprise has been launched in the United States.
Called Geekski Squad, the tech services company will be affiliated with Best Buy stores.
“Are proud to be in U.S.,” company spokesperson Ivan Kyzmanokoff told The Lint Screen. “Believe we offer capitalist citizens best tech services with deep knowledge of hacking and tech. Also offer poisoning service for elimination of enemies. Convenient payment plans available.”
When asked if Geekski Squad will replace Geek Squad, Comrade Kyzmanokoff lit a Sobranie cigarette and spoke in a low measured voice. “Most unfortunate accident have Geek Squad. All people dead. Too bad. New company needed, Best Buy hire Geekski Squad. We also help them sell insurance for products. All good now.” The Russian thrust out his hand and gave a thumbs-up sign as he attempted smiling.
Kyzmanokoff said the company is in the process of reviewing ad agencies to handle its marketing account and looks forward to expanding throughout North America.
#######################################################
Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of Ames Scullin O'Haire Advertising (ASO), and has created campaigns helping Georgia Aquarium, The Coca-Cola Co., UPS, Golf Pride Golf Grips, Mitsubishi Electric, Delhaize America, Georgia Natural Gas, Mellow Mushroom and more.
He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).
"
Articles from Patrick Scullin
View blogHow could any idiot mistake these for “fan letters?” · Oh, that Donald J. Trump! · Since The Justice ...
Ex-prez promises lots of stuff at his rally. · Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trum ...
The Big Boss wanted to hear why he shouldn’t be “King For All Time!!!” · This week’s January 6 Commi ...
You may be interested in these jobs
-
High School Spanish Teacher
Found in: CareerWallet US C2 - 2 days ago
Uncommon Schools Gorham, United States Full timeCompany Description · Uncommon Schools is a nonprofit network of high-performing, public charter schools providing an outstanding K-12 education in historically under-resourced communities. We have proudly built schools that reflect our student population, with more than 60% of o ...
-
Line Cook
Found in: Jobcase US 3 C2 - 1 week ago
Chili's Albuquerque, United States HourlyRole Overview · Our Heart of House Team Members are responsible for setting the pace for a great shift, every shift. They provide dependable, fast service that is absolutely Chili's. If you take pride in great team work, then we want to hear from youFast hiring process · Flexible ...
-
Occupational Therapist
Found in: Talent US A C2 - 2 days ago
Soliant Gate, United StatesMinimum 1+ years speech therapy experience required. · Full-Time Occupational Therapist (OT) · Soliant has partnered with a school system in the Gate, Washingtonarea that is currently seeking an Occupational Therapist for the upcoming school year. The position is full-time, for t ...
Comments