RUSSIAN LEADER LAVROV PRAISES “FANTASTIC JOB” BEING DONE BY TRUMP

While the Democrats were boiling oil for their witch hunt of President Trump, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov came to the White House and sang the big guy’s praises.

“Comrade Trump doing fantastic job,” the red ruski powerbroker told The Lint Screen. “I see your countrymen like him much better than Abe Lincoln. Trump much better than all presidents!”

The distinguished diplomat is mightily impressed by the president’s superior performance.

“Democrats try to destroy him,” he said in onion and tobacco breath. “They hate America, work with Ukraine and hide server. Wish to upset great American election. But Trump protect your country, make great again. He is great leader. Strong. Handsome. Good teeth. Has hot wife, hot daughter. Great man.”

Lavrov says the president is a shrewd and tough negotiator. “He always gets better of President Putin. Trump is a worthy adversary. He is master player, always one move ahead. He keeps Russia in check very well. He never does our will. Doggone him and brave patriots of his glorious Republican Party!“

Russia’s Foreign Minister is a big fan of the Fox News Channel. “Hannity, Laura, Judge Jeanine, Fox and Friends–– they are all great truthtellers. Americans should only watch Fox and believe them. All other news is Ukraine propaganda. If it is not on Fox News or said by president, it is wrong.”

The Russian leader wonders why more Americans do not hate Democrats. “They are bad people. Make Americans flush toilet many times. Ten, fifteen, one hundred times. Poo still not go away. Trump wants one flush. Only one flush. For this Democrats wish to remove him from office. They are evil. Vote Trump 2020. Protect America. Make poo go bye-bye.”

Sergey Lavrov may have just coined Trump’s new election slogan.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) was a founder of ASO Advertising and recently left the ad game to write what he wants, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.

He recently released his debut novel, SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus, and writes two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).