Randy Keho

7 years ago · 6 min. reading time · ~10 ·

Blogging
>
Randy blog
>
Rage Against the Corporate Machine: Part I

Rage Against the Corporate Machine: Part I

This is the first in a four-part series of buzzes that recounts my experiences as a mid-level manager working within the constraints of corporate America. You'll laugh, you'll cry and, perhaps, get an idea of how the country ended up with throngs of voters backing Donald Trump for president.

0aff028f.jpg

If you've read any of my near-blasphemous buzzes or pot-stirring comments, you know I don't take things too seriously, anymore. But, it hasn't always been that way. I had a different attitude while I was a cog in the machine referred to as corporate America. It has its advantages and disadvantages. The health care deductions are reasonable, which keeps Obama-scare off your back. But, corporate demands and policies are befuddling, at best. 

In my case, we were constantly barraged by demands to tighten our belts and do more with less, only to learn at the end of each fiscal year, that the company had once again reported record sales. However, it was like that $1 million dollar wound suffered by Forest Gump in Vietnam. As he said in the film, "They must have kept that money, because I never saw a penny of it." Contrary to corporate belief, under these circumstances, the company's apparent success does nothing to promote morale.

I climbed a few rungs on the ladder of success, but it was personal pride that drove me. I had no desire to become a completely out-of-touch CEO. I wanted to remain as close to the front lines as possible.That's where the hand-to-hand combat takes place.That's where you can actually smell victory. And, nothing smells sweeter. Well, there are a few things, but they would be inappropriate to mention. To partially paraphrase Robert De Niro in the film "Apocalypse Now," I used to love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like .. victory.

I suffered a few setbacks along the way, like being held back from promotions because I happened to be better at my particular job than my co-workers. My managers didn't want to lose my productivity, and they told me so. It wasn't fair, but I learned an important lesson. It painful to watch much-less productive co-workers being promoted over me, basically, because they couldn't successfully perform the jobs they held. It was a sub-category of the Peter Principal.

For the most part, I remained the good soldier, hoping that someday it would pay off. And, it did. But, it was never easy. It wasn't just a fight to the top, it was a fight to the middle, too. I never came close to the top, but I can guarantee that no one else made it by stepping on me to get there, either. 

I attribute that to the fact my mother comes from strong Irish stock. She never saw a gray area. Everything was black and white and she knew right from wrong. She wasn't highly educated, but nobody pushed her around. Today, I'm more like my father, who makes friends by simply nodding to people walking down the street. I cherish friendship above all else. We were both successful salesmen. I eventually went into management, something he steadfastly refused to do over his 31-year career, also with a large corporation.

My favorite catch phrase is, "Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it." Well, I got it all right. I finally received a decent promotion, but it nearly ruined my career. I was sent to another facility, with specific instructions to help turn the operation around -- from a mid-management position. The general manager had come through the ranks of production, not sales, which was by far the most important metric. So, the ship was floundering and about to hit the rocks. I was expected to help solve a problem the company itself had created. Didn't I recently mention something about out-of-touch CEOs?

My new general manager knew exactly why I was made a member of his management team. He wasn't offered an opportunity to refuse my participation, which made my life a living hell. Nobody was going tell him how to do his job, especially some mid-level manager. On top of that, half of my new counterparts were his cronies. They didn't want to be made to look bad, either. I was surrounded and would have to fight my way out. The war began on my first day, when I was lured into a tried-and-true ambush. 

It was a union shop and the union representative was a member of my team. He told me in no uncertain terms that I would be just another in a long line of managers who had come and gone. I soon found out it was a classic case of the tail wagging the dog. My predecessor, and a couple before him, had been terminated for poor job performance. Basically, they had failed to inspire the team to achieve the corporate-established numbers. Typical corporate bullshit. My team members knew that the union would protect them from whatever cruel and unusual punishment management, which was now me, could devise. So, all they had to do was fail at their job, and I would sooner of later be replaced, too. It would be business as usual for them. It was quite the scheme and they went about it like true professionals.

What they hadn't yet realized, was that I had come up through the ranks, and knew the tricks better than they did. I had walked in their shoes. The managers before me had not. Haven't I already mentioned the something about the Peter Principle? It was time to unleash some psychology. I never studied psychology, but I did minor in management science in college, most of which was total bullshit. You can't manage from a damn textbook. But take a little common sense, mix it with a dash of management theory, a twist of human nature, and you can save your ass.

If you're a corporate manager, don't try this at home. Doing what I did is highly frowned upon. But, if it leads to success, you'll be a hero. Funny how that works. The only thing that matters is hitting numbers, anyway. How you do it is of no concern. The result will always trump the means, unless it's illegal. In that case, you'll be left holding the bag. Don't be tempted. Your integrity and reputation are paramount to hitting any corporate number. Besides, orange is not my color.

I never broke any rules, but I did bend them a bit. Basically, because I always believed that my team members were more important than any corporate directives, which are always open to change without prior notice. Corporate America no longer places value in its people. Nonetheless, If you're a manager, you live or die according to the failures or successes of your people, who I will refer to as team members. You lean on the strong ones and support the weak ones. And, you'll need them all. My team members were, basically, delivery drivers. However, they were expected to sell additional products to current customers and acquire new customers, which meant the dreaded need for cold-calling. They had quotas for sales calls as well as sales. Obviously, they weren't making much of an effort.

Unfortunately, my team was home to the weakest team member of them all. I supported and encouraged him on a daily basis, but, in the end, he was terminated. The union contract stated that team members had to at least show an effort to meet the established numbers, although it did not list specific numbers for them to meet. In reality, the numbers were nothing more than a company-prepared wish list, that they cracked like a whip. That's why team members could virtually fail at their job and remain employed, while their managers were being terminated. It was extremely subjective and it made it easy for the union to thwart terminations. However, the numbers were etched in stone for managers. I've always believed that if do your job, you don't need a union. But, that was not the prevailing attitude at my new facility.

My weakest link had simply given up. His mind was somewhere else. I wasn't the one who terminated him, that came after my position and responsibilities had changed. We had respect for one another and he did seek me out before he left to say goodbye and to wish me luck. I appreciated his gesture, but I couldn't help but think I'd somehow failed him, when I knew I hadn't. I ran into him a couple of years later. He was working for one of our competitors and said he was much happier. He wasn't expected to sell. He was doing delivery and pickup, which was his strong suit. He certainly looked happier. By the way, we were the only company in our industry that was union and required its drivers to sell. It was nearly impossible to be terminated after completing your probation period. But, he eventually figured out how to do it.

So, if you're a manager who thrives on stress, corporate America is calling. If you want a job where failing to perform is the norm, make sure there's a union. So, the union really only works to save the jobs of underperformers while guaranteeing them a decent starting wage. However, be prepared to watch your union dues steadily increase, business agents like to drive big, fancy cars. When union elections come around, you'll receive a visit from the candidates. Take pictures of them, it may be the only time you'll ever see them. If your're lucky, they'll bring a dozen doughnuts for you and your 30 co-workers to share and a handful of cheap pens engraved with the local's number on them. That's a fact. I started out as a union team member. However, I consistently ranked in the Top 10 percent in the company, which had offices from sea to shining sea. I must say, I was rewarded accordingly. The company knew how to throw a party for its top producers.

To find out how I successfully bent the rules and was eventually forced to rage against the machine, please read the second buzz in this series.

 
"
Comments

Articles from Randy Keho

View blog
7 years ago · 3 min. reading time

I experimented with a lot of things in college, but the only one I got addicted to was music. · I co ...

7 years ago · 5 min. reading time

My reading habits spiked during the mid-to-late 1980s. I had the time. · I'd embarked on a career in ...

7 years ago · 0 min. reading time

I hate winter. · "

You may be interested in these jobs

  • Danbury Massillon

    Resident Care Companion and STNA Massillon

    Found in: Talent US A C2 - 6 days ago


    Danbury Massillon Kidron, United States All

    We are currently seeking applicants for Resident Care Companion and STNA positions. This position is also often referred to as State Tested Nursing Assistant, CNA, Certified Nursing Assistant, Nursing Aide, Nurse's Aide and Care Provider. · Pay range is $13.00/hr-15.00/hr. · Hou ...

  • Tideline Palm Beach Ocean Resort & Spa

    IRD Runner

    Found in: Lensa US P 2 C2 - 5 days ago


    Tideline Palm Beach Ocean Resort & Spa Palm Beach, United States Full time

    Compensation Type: Hourly Highgate Hotels: Highgate, operating in partnership with the TLPB Associates LLC, are the asset managers of Tideline Palm Beach Ocean Resort and Spa. Successful candidates will become employees of the TLPB Associates LLC. · Highgate is a premier real es ...

  • Aequor Healthcare

    Travel Nurse RN

    Found in: Jobget US C2 - 9 hours ago


    Aequor Healthcare Baltimore, MD, United States

    Aequor Healthcare is seeking a travel nurse RN PCU - Progressive Care Unit for a travel nursing job in Baltimore, Maryland. · Job Description & Requirements · Specialty: PCU - Progressive Care Unit · Discipline: RN · Start Date: 05/19/2024 · Duration: 13 weeks · 36 hours per week ...