Putin Uses Joy Buzzer Gag On Trump
To begin the historic Helsinki meeting between Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump, “Pootie” punked the American prez with the classic joy buzzer handshake.
“You’ve got to give Putin round one,” a diplomatic observer told The Lint Screen. “He totally owned the Trumpster with the joy buzzer gag. But Trump did a good job of concealing his surprise. He bit his cheek and took it like a man. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if the Putinator doesn’t get Trump again with a whoopee cushion, fake dog poop, plastic vomit or even a concealed fart machine. Putin just plays at a whole other level than Trump. He’s a master.”
Prior to their meeting, Trump trashed talked his own country. “The United States has been a complete disaster with its Russia relations. We have been suspicious of them, and frankly, they seem like really good people. It’s disgraceful. Mother Russia is perhaps the greatest nation on Earth and we should all bow to her everlasting glory.”
Diplomats were shocked by the U.S. president. “It’s like Trump is going into these talks waving a white flag.”
Members of Team Trump vehemently disagreed. “The president is calling it like he sees it,” said national security advisor John Bolton. “If the president is going to make America great again, we have to improve our relationship with Russia and get along with Putin. He is our overlord, let’s admit that and move on.”
Trump and Putin then met for two hours of secret talks with only their translators as witnesses.
UPDATE: The two translators who were in the Trump-Putin Helsinki summit meeting died of mysterious causes. “It was probably poor diets,” said president Trump. “It’s sad. Very sad. But, life goes on.”
#########################################
Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) is a founder of ASO Advertisingand recently left the ad game to be a full-time writer, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.
He has two blogs: The Lint Screen(satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman(marketing pontification).
Thanks for reading.
"
Articles from Patrick Scullin
View blogOz says he knows the state "Like the back of my surfboard." · Mehmet Oz, · the Republican candidate ...
District Judge Aileen will live rent-free thanks to a mystery person. · US Federal Judge Aileen Cann ...
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell explains the coming nirvana under Repubocracy. · Republicans ...
You may be interested in these jobs
-
Delivery Driver
Found in: MyJobHelper US C2 - 3 days ago
AutoZone, Inc. Lanett, United States Full timeCome be a part of an energizing culture rooted in people and a commitment to delivering WOW customer service. If you are looking for a way to put your safe driving skills to work coupled with company stability and great career opportunities, look no further. AutoZone is the place ...
-
Crew Member needed in Dulles –
Found in: beBee S2 US - 1 week ago
Five Guys Dulles, United States Full timeHiring Crew Member in Dulles at Five Guys, Join us as we are Family owned and fanatical about fresh ingredients, food safety, cleanliness and customer service. Earn, learn and grow your career in Dulles VA with Five Guys. · Job Title: Crew Member · Location: Dulles Virginia · Sal ...
-
Technologist, Medical I
Found in: Jooble US O C2 - 3 hours ago
FlexCare Surgery Oak Lawn, IL, United StatesFlexCare Surgery is seeking a travel CVOR Technologist for a travel job in Oak Lawn, Illinois. · Shift: 8 hours, days · ~ Employment Type: Travel · Pay package is based on 8 hour shifts and 40 hours per week (subject to confirmation) with tax-free stipend amount to be determin ...
Comments