PUTIN COMES TO DEFENSE OF TRUMP, SAYS HE “IS A GREAT LEADER”

Presidents stick together!

Today, Russia President Vladimir Putin popped by The Lint Screen Moscow offices and sung the praises of American President Donald J. Trump.

“I feel sorry for your president,” Putin said as he skinned a kitten with a buck knife. “The fake news treats him very badly. Why does Trump allow free press? He should eliminate journalists. It simplifies life.”

Putin says he does not understand the problems Trump is facing in Congress.

“Your system of government is stupid,” he said. “Why two parties? One party is stronger. And why does Trump allow dissenters? He should imprison people who stand against him. Torture them. Kill if necessary. They must pay a price for disobedience.”

The Russian leader is also not a fan of Ukraine.

“It is a very bad country,” he said. “We will beat them in war and take over. We will improve Ukraine. We also will improve Middle East. I do not want anyone getting hands dirty on oil. Russia will clean up oil in Middle East. We like to help.”

Putin reports he talks to Trump frequently.

“I call to cheer him up,” he said, as he starts whittling an adorable puppy. “I tell him he is doing excellent job. Makes me proud. Sometimes, I conference call with patriots Sean Hannity or Mitch McConnell. They are good men. I like them.”

Putin flashes his devil-may-care smile.

“Donald Trump is a great leader. He is making your country great again. Your people should worship him. Why don’t they? It is horrible how bad he is treated. If my people did not worship me, I would eliminate them. I solve problems, Trump should do same. He would be happier.”

Putin saw the reporter suppress a yawn and ended the interview. The scribe has been missing since.

If you see a reporter wearing a fedora with a PRESS card in the brim, please call our offices. He has some deadlines to meet.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) was a founder of ASO Advertising and recently left the ad game to write what he wants, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.

He has an upcoming novel, SAWDUST, and writes two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).