Patrick Scullin

1 year ago · 2 min. reading time · ~10 ·

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PROPOSED TEXAS LAW WILL LIMIT SPEECH OF WOMEN

PROPOSED TEXAS LAW WILL LIMIT SPEECH OF WOMEN

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A new GOP law would seriously limit free speech for women statewide.

The Republican Party is on a roll in Texas.

After effectively eliminating a woman’s right to choose after six weeks and turning the population into money-hungry bounty hunters, GOP Texas lawmakers propose a new bill that would severely limit a woman’s right to free speech.

“Texans love their women,” says rep. Barry F. Lunkin. “Most of us had moms who were of the female persuasion. But we also know womenfolk are prone to saying things their men may not want to hear––like we’re drinkin’ too much, want a bunch of sex from them, or have our loaded weapons lying around the house where the kids can find them. We know the ladies probably feel guilty about running their mouths all the time riding us like they’re trying to break a wild mustang, so we’re going to help them.”

In a proposed law written by Lunkin and a few of his GOP associates in the Texaslegislature, women must remain silent unless addressed directly by a man.

“I think it’s a darn good law,” Lunkin tells The Lint Screen. “It’ll give the little ladies some time to think before they run their yaps. All of us men agree that women talk too much, and it gets on our nerves something fierce. This law will make it easier for us to love and care for our little fillies because they won’t be driving us nuts with their jib-jabbering all the time. Gov. Greg Abbott is crazy about the legislationand is itching to sign it into the law of the land.”

Lunkin believes his new law coupled with the recently enacted anti-abortion law will go a long way to bring peace to the battle of the sexes.

“When a man needs his woman, he’ll let her know,” Lunkin says with a smile. “And when he’s done with her, she can get back to being quiet––going to work at the Walmart, minding the young uns, or rustling up some grub. This new legislation will make every woman’s life easier because she won’t have to have any small talk or babble on about every little thing under the sun. We want Texas to be heaven for women, and we’re going to do everything in our power to make that happen.”

Lunkin tips his ten-gallon hat and strolls into the sunset depicted on the wallpaper in his office. He bumps his head and swears.

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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.

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