Preston 🐝 Vander Ven

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Our Culture’s Pattern is Destructive to any Dream

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Today, Society has an idea that when people do anything together, it has a 50/50 Performance relationship. Therefore, “You do your part, and I’ll do mine.”

The problem here is that giving is not based upon merit, and affection is given when one feels it is deserved. So the whole motivation for action is now based upon how one feels. This is true in relationship between employers and employees, teachers and students, the government and the citizens, business owners and clientele, and even in marriages. This is why there is so much conflict and why so many fail.

If we have a goal in life, and are telling ourselves that we will do our part if and when someone else does there’s, then we just gave control of our lives to this other party.

Our culture’s pattern (50/50 performance relationship) is destined to self-destruct because of these reasons:

  • our inability to meet all unreal expectations
  • our tendency to focus on weaknesses in others
  • our disappointment in others, which paralyzes us from taking action
  • our desire to get revenge when wronged or feel like the other didn’t met the 50/50 requirement
  • the impossibility of knowing if the other party’s has met you half way

Have you ever told yourself, “I’ll do my job, if my boss does theirs” or “I clean my mess, after they clean up theirs.” When we follow our culture’s pattern like this, the pattern is isolation“One who has isolated himself seeks his own desires; he rejects all sound judgment.” (Proverbs 18:1) 

I heard a quote that said, “Many don’t plan to fail, yet they fail to plan.” What I mean by this is I have met so many people with great goals in life and go out to achieve them. Yet, even though they think they might have a plan of action, this mindset drives family, friends, co-workers, and even prospects away. When the day an overwhelming obstacle comes, this person finds themselves alone, with no help.

So, what is the solution? The performance model in any type of relationship should be 100/100 percent. Even if the other party is not putting in that 100 percent you think that they could or should, do yours. You Will see a change in your other party.  


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