Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago · 2 min. reading time · 0 ·

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Mid-Life Strikes, Do You Know Which Path to Take?

Mid-Life Strikes, Do You Know Which Path to Take?




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Today was a day of self-reflection. My self-reflection was so deep I actually began to cry. I finally admitted to myself that I don't know who I am anymore. I sat at my PC just staring and wondering if I've ever known who I truly am? I felt a flood of sadness, anxiousness, and anger raging inside of me as these thoughts/feelings were so strong I felt like they were slapping me in the face, almost as if the thoughts were taunting me. 

I have dedicated my entire life to helping others and I'm not saying this for a pat on the back. That is the core of who I am. But, there is more to me than just helping others and why it's taken me so damn long to figure this out is just as perplexing. As I write this tonight, I can honestly admit, I don't know who I am or what it is I should be doing. Tears stream down my face because I feel in some ways like a failure and I also feel angry because I know I have many talents. Why can't I tap into my talents and put them to work? In part, I think it's because my brain keeps saying, you can't compete with the younger generation, you're spent... that's my subconscious speaking but it's hard to ignore when you've been out of work for a long period of time. Work has never defined who I am but I find myself looking for a definition now. Am I looking to define myself or define who I am through my work and passions? I've always counted on my passions to define me. Life has become more confusing. I thought things would get easier by the time I hit this magical era in my life. 

My life has consisted of taking care of my siblings when my dad was ill and dying, becoming a nurses aid at a big hospital when I was 17 ( a junior in high school), moving on and getting hired as a Respiratory Technician, Cardiac Lab Tech, taking 2 years off to stay home with my son and I babysat. I went back to the hospital when they called to ask me to apply for a Phlebotomist position. I applied and took the job, it was part-time and worked out great because I had two children at the time. We moved about two years after I took that job and my husband was making enough money that I was able to stay at home. I wouldn't trade my years of being at home for anything. The problem, I didn't make an exit plan for MY life outside of raising children. I volunteered at their schools for various activities my kids were involved in and life was busy. My life was so busy, I forgot about my own needs at some point


We all have unique talents and sometimes those talents lie dormant, just waiting to come out
Lisa Gallagher

I admire those of you that found your niche and stuck with it or expounded on it. My mind tends to travel in ten different directions and it seems I can't focus on just one niche. 

I found this Tedx Video and I hope some of you listen to it. This video sums up who I think I am and why it's hard for me to make a decision. It sums up while I feel like a failure.  I am NOT looking for sympathy, I'm just being quite frank and expressing my thought process at this point or shall I say, sharing my juncture in my life?  Has anyone else felt stuck? How are you dealing with midlife if things don't seem to be going as you may have anticipated long before you hit this time in your life?  I hope you watch the video. This video gave me some hope and also made me realize, I'm not alone... I'm just different. Being different can make us unique, right? 



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Comments

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #58

#76
Lyon Brave thanks so much for your very honest comment, I appreciate it! You have great writing skills too, we all differ in style. I read Anne Frank's Diary, eye opening. Can you believe I've only been for a massage once in my life, once for manicure and one pedicure. Not sure why I don't try to pamper myself more, I think I feel guilty and I know I shouldn't. Getting out in nature is great for anxiety, because it removes a lot of distractions. Thanks for reading this Lyon and I hope your doing well!

Lyon Brave

6 years ago #57

Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher I spend a lot of time telling people they should not compare themselves to other people. You should not worry about what younger people are doing or even people in the same age group. All that matters is what you are doing and you are obviously developing your writing skills. You have built a strong platform here on beBee. It is much stronger than mine. You are funny, consistent, and humble. I highly doubt, I would want to read the writings of an 18 year old honestly, unless they were in an Ann Frank type situation. Life has brought you wisdom, use it. If you have had a life of giving it is probably time to pamper yourself. Do you go get massages, get your nails done. You said your bucket list wish is to get a makeover. You can treat yourself. As far as your anxiety. maybe try hiking, gardening even more, or getting out in nature. I think it's okay to just be.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #56

#74
Claim your eldership, I like that idea! We earned it ;-) I swear at times I think my husband has a harder time with mid-life than me. He still wants to keep up with our kids and grandkids as if he was 30 again. I felt the same for a while but I had an epiphany, been there, done that! They need to accept me as I am and I need to be ok with where I am. I think there is more pressure on women today at our age vs. when our mothers were this age? I could be wrong. I will give my husband a pass though, he has some prior injuries that are acting up and it's frustrating him even though he never complains, I know him well and that does break my heart.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #55

Thanks for sharing Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange! :)) Midlife, it's 3:30 am where are other women right now? I hope sound asleep unlike me LOL.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #54

#71
I think it may be more prevalent than people admit to 'feel stuck.' I wonder if it affects women more than men or if it's equal? I'm so glad you are going to get back out into the world and find yourself. Write blogs when you feel frustrated, you have a ton of friends here who are more than happy to encourage and even give advice if you need it Lyon Brave. Life sure can be tough... it's nice when we hit a place in life and feel like we can say, "Yes, I'm happy and content." I'm not there yet either.

Lyon Brave

6 years ago #53

Holy shit this is exactly what I'm going through. I just asked my friend Lori why do I feel like I'm in my mom pants driving a minivan when I have no kids.. Your article helped me realize because I'm dangerously close to settling for a life I didn't really want and just giving up and deciding to place all my hopes and dreams on my babies. I want my babies to be successful but I want to be successful first... So I'm stripping out of these mom jeans and I'm gonna go put some red lipstick on and grab my breifcase and pepper spray and march back out into the world.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #52

Thanks for sharing :))

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #51

#68
Thank you very much , nice to see you!!

Prakashan B.V

6 years ago #50

Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher...Very well written and meaningful article..

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #49

#64
Well said Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman!! We do all have dreams we may have to put on the back burner for various reasons. We are never too old to pursue those dreams until we think we ARE ;-) I hope you are finding yourself too. I think I've become pickier as I've 'matured,' because I have experienced so much and I'm sure many our age could say that too. Here's to a long and fruitful future ahead for both of us!!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #48

#63
I just saw your email tonight Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange, I would love to chat. I will write back tomorrow with a few dates/times that I'm free :)) Wow, that's horrible to hear about the woman that stayed home to take care of her husband who had cancer. Life can throw curve balls but heck.. we are just beginning at our age! And, we also paid many dues prior to hitting this point in life. I find women our age to be dependable, willing and excited to learn more and a bit more laid back.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #47

#61
I was finally able to do it Louise Smith, thanks! I posted on one of your buzzes RE: my results.

Louise Smith

6 years ago #46

https://www.bebee.com/producer/@louise-smith-state-of-queensland/quiz-how-do-you-feel-about-getting-older-quiz

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #45

#58
Great article, "The do's and don'ts! I would highly recommend that one to anyone who is dealing with midlife issues. I wasn't able to access the quiz, it said forbidden :(

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #44

#58
Hi Louise Smith, thanks for your well thought out comment! I forgot about Erik Erikson, we had to learn his model when I took lifespan and development. This is definitely the stage I'm in: Generativity vs. Self absorption or Stagnation – Care ... Need to get out of stagnation and turn to self care! I'm working on it. It's funny (not ha ha funny) but it seems like not that long ago I was telling my friends you are as old as you feel and age is just a number. I know this will pass. I most certainly want to feel fullfilled and without regret when I hit the last stage! It sure is about change, and change can be hard depending on what it is one is dealing with inside. I'm trying to remind myself, it's about attitude too. I will check out the other links you left and I really do appreciate you taking the time to leave me with some food for thought along with facts.

Louise Smith

6 years ago #43

Hi Lisa, So you had a brush with Gerascophobia? (an abnormal or persistent fear of growing old or ageing). Many people in their 40s and onwards go through exactly what you did. Many of my clients come to get help with this. We have different developmental stages from birth throughout our lifespan and they don't just stop at 18yo or 21yo when adulthood is "reached". You can find a reasonable explanation of the stages here: https://www.learning-theories.com/eriksons-stages-of-development.html It's about change and anxiety - that not knowing who you are or what's happening and why. Also people close to you may move or pass away and suddenly you are the oldest generation or have no close friends nearby. As you mentioned,when you leave your job and/or retire, you wonder what defines you. When your children are grown and fly, you may experience "Empty Nest." When you and/or your partner retire, you may experience extreme exasperation with them being lost and constantly underfoot. BUT IT'S NOT ALL BAD NEWS !!! Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength. Betty Friedan There is a lot of info about Healthy, Positive, Active Aging ! But basically it's what you think about yourself, acceptance and what you do to adapt to change that really matters. And after all we are the Baby Boomers who have had the best life compared to those of previous generations. We have access to knowledge and technology that our parent did not. And there's a lot of us! Two of my closet friends are 62 and 76yo. You would never know ! Cheers to more years ! Louise Do's and Don'ts https://zestnzen.wordpress.com/2012/06/03/how-to-deal-with-your-aging-fears-and-move-forward/ See Australian Psychological Society : Ageing positively https://www.psychology.org.au/publications/tip_sheets/ageing/ Quiz : How do you feel about getting older? https://www.psychologies.co.uk/tests/getting-older.html

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #42

#56
Awe, I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts! I remember a year before mom was diagnosed she began losing a ton of weight and had a lot of vague symptoms which wasn't like her. She was a type A, always on the go... she even canceled a vacation to Maine 3 months before her diagnosis, and she loved her "ocean time.' I hope it's nothing serious, Nicole. Sending good vibes and hugs to you too!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #41

#54
Hi Nicole Chardenet, I really appreciate your positive feedback, support and UNDERSTANDING! Midlifers rock (at least I'm beginning to feel that way) LOL. I will check my email, it may be later before I can respond but I look forward to reading it. I think there have been a lot of bumps in the road over the past year which haven't helped... more than just losing my mom. As I wrote some time ago, I think her death was just the catlyst for many other things I'd been ignoring and they all came to a freaking head this past year or so... little by little. Thanks Nicole!!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #40

#48
Those sure weren't wasted years and I know it paid off because we are best friends today! From what I've read on your buzzes Joyce Bowen, you hardly have a bare resume. You've been a voice for many and continue to do so. It sounds like you are hard on yourself too?! Embrace all you've done, I know it can be hard at times, this coming from a person who can see more in others than herself. Maybe many of us tend to be our own worse critics?

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #39

#47
How inspiring Mindful Tee, I love how you ended your paragraph, "where there is hope in the future, there is power in the present." Thanks for your inspiring words!! I will keep this in mind. Maybe my new mantra each day :)

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #38

#45
Hi Ken Boddie, you know something, I've actually been looking for a local photography course, so you know me well! We have a place called the High Ed. in town (most colleges are miles away from my rural area) and every once in a while they offer beginner digital photography and other photography courses, so great idea! And, you are on to something, I'm seriously looking into attaining certification I would legitimately need to become a travel agent. I'm not sure of the cost, there are so many offers online and I need to find out from someone in the field (maybe our local AAA) so I can find out how to do this? I noticed AAA was offering courses a while back but they were 'closed' when I found it online. Thanks for the suggestions. I just need a better camera for the type of photography course I'd like to take! I have a bridging camera right now and it's OK.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #37

#44
I'm waiting for mine... they keep whispering to me, I just need to listen. Thanks Debesh Choudhury! Nice to see you, by the way :)

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #36

#43
Well said @michael o'neil!! I like the way you think :)
Think of all those years at home with the kids perfecting being a psychologist, a nurse, a cook, etc., and none of those skills count on a resume for employment! My resume just looks like I was Lazy.

Paul Walters

6 years ago #34

Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher methinks we all have days like this !!! Some good others not so. Yup I've been there as have all the others who commented here. Yup you are a 'giver' and I have recognised that in the comments you have shared or pieces you have written. A day WILL arrive when you say , " you know, fuck it" I'll be selfish and do what I want to do. Take off. travel, get out of your perceived comfort zone, see things , Volunteer on a project in Cambodia, swim in tropical waters, see the Himalayas; the list could go on forever. It might sound trite but seriously i'ts a huge world out there and it WIIL change your life. Hell come and spend a few weeks here in Bali, we have plenty of room !!! Stay strong because I do believe you are !

Ken Boddie

6 years ago #33

I would never presume to add to the advice from the eminent commentators below, much of which makes sound sense to the uninitiated like me, but have you thought about taking some of your passions to the next stage, such as by attending evening classes or signing up for a correspondence course. As an example, you have stated many times that you are interested in photography. I did a diploma in photography 6 years ago (in my early sixties) and found it very stimulating and, although I originally had the intention of starting a small business in my eventual retirement using the information gained, I have not done so as I have other pursuits keeping me busy. But the confidence gained and advice obtained from professional tutors, who are experts in their field, allowed me to enjoy my hobby with renewed vigour and energy. Why not make a list of your passions, as other have suggested, things that take you out of yourself and which you enjoy, and follow through by looking for simple and manageable further education? Start with baby steps.

Debesh Choudhury

6 years ago #32

I like the sentence "We all have unique talents and sometimes those talents lie dormant, just waiting to come out" .. it is true

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #31

#40
Wishing you all the best Craig! You sound happy and I bet there is still quite a wonderful world waiting for you to explore and enjoy. :)

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #30

#23
I'm glad this video made sense to you Jerry Fletcher! I think my son tends to be the same. I agree, many people don't understand others who have many ideas, change jobs frequently or just seem scattered. Our brains are all wired differently but that is what makes each of us unique. I'm glad you shared!!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #29

#21
I'm sorry you feel this way too Scott Craig. Not a fun way to feel. Sending good thoughts to you and I hope some of the comments on this thread by others may help a bit?!!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #28

#18
my Aunt was a nurse who had her MBA. She once shared with me that she attended a conference and they were told that people who stay stuck in jobs for the sake of just making money or because they'd be considered a failure if they pursued something that may not seem as lucrative were the people who died younger. There was much more to what she shared but that was the premise. I guess the moral- pursue your dreams and let the chips fall where they may. Staying stuck in a job that a person isn't happy with or gets bored with takes a toll on the physical body. My Aunt lived into her 80's and began her own Company when she was in her late 50's... it was a rocky start but she did well and she was HAPPY!! It also allotted her to travel, which she loved.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #27

#17
Donna Wood its always great to hear when someone came through the other side finding their passion and overcoming the darkness. Welcome to the multipotentialite club! ;-) Thank you for sharing too!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #26

#20
\ud83d\udc1d Fatima Williams thank YOU for being so patient with me during this difficult journey. I thank so many. One day I will write a gratitude buzz to all of those who believed in me and still do. Right now, so many of you believe in me more than I'm capable of believing in myself. I just want to say, that's not who I am. I've always been a very upbeat and fairly positive person. I hope one day those closest to me realize I'm spent... understatement. I just feel right now, I don't have much to give if anything. I guess I just need to keep searching for the right people who care enough to help me get better and become more than I was before this came on like a tornado. Thank you again!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #25

#16
Thanks , I appreciate your kind sentiments and taking the time to read this. :)

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #24

#15
oh my gosh, I can't stop crying. I can relate to that young girl so much. I'm so glad she had parents who cared enough to see her through her anxiety and depression. They understood it was an illness that she had no control over and saw her through it with love. Everyone needs someone in times of a crisis, it's sad that many suffer in silence or pretend to be stronger than they really are during their illness. I'm still crying but I thank you for sharing this Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt. I understood her depths of despair, sadly.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #23

#12
Hi Ian Weinberg, thank you for your wise advice. I hope it doesn't appear I do not appreciate things in my life. I do have so much to be thankful for and those are the things I focus on. I'm glad to hear this is not an uncommon part of life. As they say, "this too, shall pass." Then we hit the next stage! I remember when I took a class on life span development it was stressed that those who were happy and had few regrets in the latter stage of life, well they lived life well both mentally and doing what made themselves happy. Thank you for your input, I appreciate it!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #22

#8
Hi Todd Jones, picturing myself riding a unicycle cracked me up. I say, good for you! Another idea for a hive, "Mid-Lifers Club." ;-) Every year there is a bike race to the Top of Mount Evans in Colorado and there is a man who rides a Unicycle up (not sure about down). They start at 7k ft and climb to over 14k ft. Amazing! My son and his uncles have made it a yearly tradition to participate in this. Thanks for your comment, greatly appreciated!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #21

#11
I just learned a new word today , thank you for your wisdom and comment :))

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #20

#7
Very interesting response CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit. I wondered why my therapist said after a lot of CBT that I was a candidate for EMDR which does bring up past traumas etc... we may have hidden deep within our brains and forgotten about. We have taken a break from the EMDR because I have felt more distressed since things came up that I wasn't expecting, things I never shared with anyone. In the article I found this, "Did you know that meditation can bring to the surface repressed emotional traumas that you may not be ready for? Did you know that it can also destabilize you?" That's scary and maybe does make sense right now! Thank you very much.

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #19

#6
I need more discovery Pascal Derrien, I'm home too much, doing work for the Company and the day just passes by (not trying to sound like a martyr at all). I have a dream but I'm not sure I can make it happen. My dream would be doing something I honestly like and get me out of the home, along with being around others again. I've always been a highly social 'creature,' and I know that's one thing that is causing distress. Only I can 'cure' that ;-) Thanks for your kind advice, I appreciate it!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #18

#5
I'm sure I'm not alone, another tough stage in life for many, I believe? "path of each person for life is unique and special." Well said Julio Angel \ud83d\udc1dLopez Lopez, thank you for your wise words!

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #17

#4
Thanks @Michael O'Niel! I'm glad you were able to relate to the video, yes- Multipotentialites unite! Maybe we need a hive for that one :))

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #16

Ps, I WILL reply to all of you, your comments have brought tesrs but they are good, cleansing tears

Lisa Gallagher

6 years ago #15

Hi everyone, my internet is down. Will be on later. Sent from my android phone

Jerry Fletcher

6 years ago #14

Thank you for allowing us to see so deeply into a remarkable woman. And thanks again for the video recorded just three hours from where I'm writing. Now I know why I've always felt a little "different" and why I've never been able to explain to my mother what it is I do. And why my profiles on all the social media sites have multiple titles.The video really helped. All of us need to be affirmed. Your courage will help all of us here on beBee.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

6 years ago #13

Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher You have so much strength and so much to give that all you need to do is set sail my dear. You've shared your journey that had has many many battles, lessons and many beautiful beautiful memories. Your a Giver and a champion You'll thrive anywhere. I can't wait to see you break this puzzle life has thrown your way. Shine on The world nèeds some light givers. The ted talk was amazing to watch. Thank you for being so down to earth and sharing your journey with us. I see the blessings coming to us from our angels above.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

6 years ago #12

#15
Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt I just cried watching that beautiful video you shared. AGT brings out the best in many talented individuals struggling in some way or the other. Thank you for sharing this.

David B. Grinberg

6 years ago #11

Lisa, thanks for this personal, profound and thought-provoking buzz. I think everyone feels stuck at in their career at some point on their lives. One common dilemma which I would appreciate feedback involves the following fork in the road, especially as one approaches that midlife period: 1) do you stay at a longtime job where you have seniority, financial security, stability and good benefits, but where the work is no longer challenging or motivational and don't really like your coworkers? 2) or, do you give that up to branch out on your own to pursue the kind of work that you really love in which you can potentially maximize your inherent talents and abilities? The kind of work that gets your adrenaline pumping, even though it lacks the financial guarantees noted above? This Falls under the categories of "no risk no reward" and taking a "leap of faith" -- which is usually easier for many people when they are younger. It begs the question of when is it most practical to follow your dreams and leave your comfort zone, despite potential financial sacrifices and no assurance of success? 🤔 I'm copying John White, MBA because he was bold and fearless enough to take the latter option.

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc.

6 years ago #10

Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher I am sure many people feel the same, you are never alone. Point is to accept yourself and love all what makes you truly unique. There is room for many passions. From there go with what is meaningful for you and what makes you happy.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

6 years ago #9

#11
Ian Weinberg Thanks so much for your kind, thoughtful remarks.

Ian Weinberg

6 years ago #8

Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher The personal space that you describe is much more common than you may think. Having coached and practiced in a clinical environment for many years, I've had to engage with many a person, lost in this space. Obviously the coaching intervention is pretty involved but my simple advice to you is the following: Remind yourself of all your blessings, achievements, talents/interests and gratifying experiences. Then put together a strategy to be implemented, to include meaningful/purposeful busyness in application, personal/spiritual and recreational. Ritualize it and build on it. Hope you find meaning and gratification.

Ian Weinberg

6 years ago #7

#9
indeed I learned a new word here from you vicegerent! There is much hidden wisdom in your short comment. Respects to you.

Graham🐝 Edwards

6 years ago #6

Thank you for sharing Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

6 years ago #5

Aha...To realize self is like knowing half truth! Indeed, we human beings, like vicegerents on this earth, are best of all creations.

CityVP Manjit

6 years ago #4

The first thing I am mindful of is that you from the outset have made it clear that a defining element of your existence is your continuous battle with acute and what can be debilitating anxiety, and you have done incredibly well to look for strategies and aids that will lesson that inner turmoil, and begin to bring these anxieties down to a level where you can lessen their heavy effect. This is also true of reflection and meditation. We think that these are things that can help us bring harmony in our life but they are also capable of hitting triggers that take us deeper into memories and darker emotions. The article in the Atlantic called "The Dark Knight of the Soul" is not an attack on the meditation industry, it is an awareness that the things we think can free us, can also accelerate that which binds us because here we are dealing with thoughts that trigger reactions and even rekindle hidden or even repressed memories. https://www.google.com/#q=dark+side+of+meditation&* Self-reflection also has its own similar properties to meditation, if we open up something we are not ready for, that which emits from with us can be so strong, it can become absolutely overwhelming. A hurricane of emotions can be unleashed, but just like weather, once these effects are in motion, we need to look at the instruments that open us to these feelings. Self-reflection and meditation can be helpful in the path of knowing ourselves, but they can also lead us into overwhelm, unleashing thoughts, memories and forces within us which become overwhelming - at which point we feel alone. Understanding ourselves in the turmoil of teenage years is the same as viewing our life as mid-life, but what we open up we must handle with care. You are not alone it is the storms in the mind that have a different intensity.

Pascal Derrien

6 years ago #3

no need to compare yourself to anybody Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher, your path is as unique to your good self as is your pace on the journey of discovery, I would forget about velocity and would not worry about time we all get there in the end :-)
You are not alone. The important thing is to banish the negative aspects, the path of each person for life is unique and special.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #1

#1
Believe me, the idea of traveling has crossed my mind. It's just not something I could do on a long term basis because I do enjoy being near my kids. Well at least on the same continent ;-) I'm happy that new doors opened for you! I have heard many talk about leaving for new ventures and they seem to be happy!

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