Melania Recovering From Smiling Spell

First Lady Melania Trump is in guarded condition following her recent bout of excessive smiling while attending the funeral of Barbara Bush.

“The First Lady is recovering nicely,” Dr. Phillip Excelsey of Walter Reed National Military Medical Center told The Lint Screen. “We had feared her face might crack and suffer permanent damage, but, we believe her facial tissue is much more pliable than we originally thought. We believe she has the power to smile again.”

Mrs. Trump when in the company of her husband Donald J. Trump typically wears a stern face — one that appears depressed, or a face projecting a desperate statement like “please-kill-me-now-or-help-me-escape-this-living-hell-with-this-asinine-man-child.”

“She projects her serious face that reflects her eternal loving admiration and respect for how presidential her husband acts,” White House media relations director Tippy McIntrosh told reporters. “Let’s face it, she is one lucky woman being married to undoubtedly the greatest world leader of all time. A man so many women want!”

The president’s spin master was peppered with questions from the press as to why the First Lady seemed so animated and happy at a funeral, away from her husband.

“She was probably thinking of President Trump and his incredible achievements in making America great again and his determination to snuff-out vermin like you fake newshounds. Now get on outta here! Go on, git!”

Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill, it was reported a forum of Republican congressmen is drafting legislation to deport Melania Trump for brandishing her treasonous teeth.

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Patrick Scullin is a founder of ASO Advertising and recently left the ad game to be a full-time Writing Fool.

He has two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).