Patrick Scullin

2 years ago · 3 min. reading time · ~10 ·

Blogging
>
Patrick blog
>
MCCARTHY SWEARS HE “WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE” ON JANUARY 6

MCCARTHY SWEARS HE “WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE” ON JANUARY 6

BFux6.jpeg
McCarthy is trying hard to remember his whereabouts on January 6

Congressional Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) says he “is usually sharp as a tack,” but for some reason he can’t recall where he was on January 6, 2021.

“They tell me there was a little brouhaha inside the Capitol Building,” McCarthy told The Lint Screen. “I don’t know anything about that. I was nowhere near Washington D.C. on that day.”

When asked where he was, the lawmaker squirms in his seat, and mops his slick brow.

“That’s a good question,” the congressman says. “I might have been back in my district. Or, traveling, working to get peace in the Middle East. I’m not sure. I’ll have to check my calendar and get back to you, but I know I wasn’t in Washington.”

McCarthy says he is unaware of the insurrection and attempted coup in the Capitol Building on January 6 by manic supporters of disgraced twice-impeached President Donald J. Trump.

“I’ve heard the Democrats are trying to make a little skirmish seem like the end of democracy,” the tall Californian says. “Of course, liberals hate everything President Trump did to make America great again, so I guess it’s natural they want to paint him as the bad guy. I’m sure the Capitol thing was very minor.

McCarthy said he trusts his inner circle of trusted compatriots.

“I’ve talked to Marjorie Taylor Greene, she’s always rock solid,” McCarthy says. “She said it was all good, no trouble. The same with Matt Gaetz, a very honorable guy. I’ve also spoken with Ron Johnson– who is dependably spot on in his analysis. He said it was Antifa and Black Lives Matter, had nothing to do with Trump. And Jim Jordan thinks it was simply a little misunderstanding. I’ve also heard from Ted Cruz, and that handsome senator from Missouri, Josh Harley. They both hadn’t heard anything about Capitol trouble. And, I got confirmation from the man with a backbone of steel, Lindsey Graham. He said it was nothing. They all tell me January 6 was a quiet day.”

McCarthy wrings his hands and continues. “Of course, I’ve also talked with President Donald Trump, who is always a paragon on honesty and unbiased analysis. He said it was just a few patriots protesting a stolen election.”

The silver-haired politician shakes his head.

“We need to get on with life. Let sleeping dogs lie,” McCarthy says. “I wish I had been in the Capitol on January 6, then I could speak with total authority. But since I wasn’t here, let’s rely on the trustworthiness of some good, honest, God-fearing, cop-loving, Republicans to tell us the truth. There is absolutely no need for any investigation. That’s just politics played by the socialists hellbent on destroying our country.”

He pauses. “Then we need to get down to business and prove Biden stole the election.”

——————————————————————–

Read PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous ride across America with a circus in the early ’80s. This book has earned 100% 5-Star reviews on Amazon. Act now and save during pandemic pricing. You’re a click away from a fun, unforgettable ride. Buckle up and go.

Comments

Articles from Patrick Scullin

View blog
1 year ago · 2 min. reading time

Oz says he knows the state "Like the back of my surfboard." · Mehmet Oz, · the Republican candidate ...

1 year ago · 2 min. reading time

Treasonous criminals will be rewarded if Trump gets elected. · On January 6, 2021, thousands of irat ...

1 year ago · 2 min. reading time

Sen. Hawley claims he loves “working out at work.” · Anyone who knows Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley will ...

Related professionals

You may be interested in these jobs

  • Jackson Therapy Partners

    Speech Language Pathologist

    Found in: One Red Cent US C2 - 5 days ago


    Jackson Therapy Partners Winchester, United States

    Jackson Therapy Partners is seeking a travel Speech Language Pathologist for a travel job in Winchester, Virginia. · Job Description & Requirements · Specialty: Speech Language Pathologist · Disciplin ...

  • Hudson Group

    Duty Free Product Manager

    Found in: Lensa US P 2 C2 - 3 days ago


    Hudson Group Crystal Lake, United States Full time

    Grow With Us · Hudson is North America's leading travel retailer. For over 30 years, Hudson has met the needs and wants of travelers in more than 1,000 duty-free, duty-paid, and food & beverage stores ...

  • CareerBuilder

    Pharmacy Relationship Manager

    Found in: Lensa US P 2 C2 - 3 days ago


    CareerBuilder Knoxville, United States

    Whether you are working in a Pharmacy looking for additional income, an established healthcare sales professional, or looking to break into Medical Sales, Healthcare Marketing Group, LLC is a great op ...