Patrick Scullin

1 year ago · 2 min. reading time · ~10 ·

Blogging
>
Patrick blog
>
MCCARTHY SAYS TRUMP WAS “BRAVE, HEROIC, AND PRESIDENTIAL” ON JANUARY 6

MCCARTHY SAYS TRUMP WAS “BRAVE, HEROIC, AND PRESIDENTIAL” ON JANUARY 6

e4461b79.jpg

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy continued his revisionist history tour following his appearance on Chris Wallace’s “Fox News Sunday” show. The Trump fanboy popped into The Lint Screen offices on Monday and babbled like a drunk baby.

“The liberal media has it all wrong,” McCarthy said. “Donald Trump was a perfect leader on January 6. He was very concerned about the people who thought Biden stole the election from him. We all know that it was impossible for Biden to win after the president was so far ahead on election night. But somehow he did.”

The Californian representative flails his arms.

Those Trump supporters in Washington on January 6 were concerned about our democracy. What kind of a crazy country would we have if President Trump lost? So the president told his people he would look into the matter. He said he’d walk with them to the Capitol Building and ask Mike Pence to save our democracy. But then, the president’s bone spurs suddenly acted up, and his doctors demanded he recuperate in The White House. Which is what he did, thank God!”

McCarthy claims what happened at the Capitol was liberal theatre.

“Most of the bad apples in the protesters were Antifa, and Black Lives Matter radicalsdressed like MAGA folks,” McCarthy claims, as perspiration beads on his forehead. “Trump people respect law and order, and liberals don’t. The president watched all the evil shenanigans on TV while he cared for his deadly bone spurs. And after a couple of hours, the president took decisive action and filmed a video asking his supporters to stand down. He told his people the truth– that he had been cheated out of re-election. He’s the victim here, everyone knows that. While Trump supporters weren’t doing anything wrong, the president didn’t want them to get blamed for the antics of the angry liberals. But that’s what happened.”

The politician reaches into his breast pocket and takes out a handkerchief. He dabs his eyes and blows his nose.

“I think when you look at everything that happened on January sixth,” McCarthy says earnestly, “you can’t help but come to one conclusion– President Trump was brave, heroic, and presidential. He’s our greatest leader and showed his steel backbone in standing up to the injustices of the fake news media.”

An associate enters the room and hands McCarthy a towel. The GOP leader’s face is slick with dripping sweat, and he begins sopping it up with the towel in his trembling hands.

“And that’s the honest to God truth,” McCarthy said. He tosses the soaked towel to his associate. “Hey, is it hot in here, or what?”

——————————————————————–

Read PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous ride across America with a circus in the early ’80s. This book has earned 100% 5-Star reviews on Amazon. Act now and save during pandemic pricing. You’re a click away from a fun, unforgettable ride. Buckle up and go.


Comments

Articles from Patrick Scullin

View blog
4 months ago · 2 min. reading time

Sen. Lindsey Graham lectures women about sex education. · Leave it to Lindsey! · The self-righteous ...

5 months ago · 2 min. reading time

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene to star in upcoming production. · Attendees to last week’s CPAC in Dalla ...

6 months ago · 2 min. reading time

The Secret Service accepts no blames for missing texts on January 5, and 6, 2021. · Jim Fletcherson ...

You may be interested in these jobs

  • BroadPath

    Customer Service Representative

    Found in: Jooble US - 3 days ago


    BroadPath Lithonia, GA

    [Member Service / Remote] · Anywhere in U. · S. / Competitive Pay · As a Pharmacy Customer Service Rep you'll: Be responsible for providing customer service to members of multiple benefit plans by analyzing the member's needs and by providing timely and accurate responses; Expl ...

  • Walgreens

    Customer Service Associate

    Found in: Jooble US - 1 day ago


    Walgreens North Port, FL

    Basic QualificationsMust be fluent in reading, writing, and speaking English. (Except in Puerto Rico) · Requires willingness to work flexible schedule, including evenings and weekend hours. · Preferred QualificationsPrefer six months of experience in a retail environment. · Prefe ...

  • Miltenyi Biotec Inc

    Accounting Intern

    Found in: beBee S2 US - 3 days ago


    Miltenyi Biotec Inc Gaithersburg Full time

    At Miltenyi Biotec, 3,000 employees worldwide develop pioneering solutions for biomedical science and the clinical application of cell therapies. Our multidisciplinary team combines excellence in research with the development of innovative products for the treatment of serious di ...