Love is Easy. Like is Hard.

Love is easy. Like is complicated at best, impossible at worst.

We all have an aunt, uncle or cousin we can't stand to spend time near, whether it's a personality, political, or an odor issue; we love the person but choose not to spend too much time with him. Why do we love him? Because we see something of value in him. His love for his family, his unique perspective, his cynical attitude that reminds you to be positive, his ability to persevere despite painful obstacles, his frustratingly simple answers to complicated questions...

Every being on the planet brings something valuable to our world, even if it is a lesson we have to learn the hard way. Evil behavior can bring positive change eventually. Watch this Ted video to see that in many ways life has improved on our planet over the past few decades. As depressing as current news can be, we have seen great global strides in education and in fighting disease and poverty. A variety of people have made huge, positive impacts on our world. Some of those people are loved AND liked. Most are loved & appreciated - but not liked.

If every being has the potential to bring something positive to the table, even indirectly, every being has the potential to be loved.

Here's the kicker: Love is easy when you recognize that every being brings something of value to the planet. Liking someone is a totally different thing and can be a lot more difficult, even impossible. When someone hurts you, you have permission to stop liking her. You may never learn to not love her for reasons beyond our human comprehension. The history you share, the memories of good times and great sex, the connections you may continue to share; those things make it impossible to completely abandon love.

That's okay, as long as you can keep that in perspective; that you understand love is not the same as like.

Just as important as learning that you can love a person and not like her, is recognizing the limits of that love, because love is not enough.

Like fish, some relationships have a short shelf-life.

The next time you're dealing with a difficult customer or colleague, find value in him. Imagine he is the uncle you can't stand. Think hard about why you love your uncle. The why is important. Find something about him that contributes positively to the planet, to your world.

It may be that you appreciate your life more when he leaves...

or the lessons you've learned about what not to do as a result of time with him. Loving should come easily. Don't expect yourself to like him. Try to see him as a flawed human, someone who needs kindness.

Because you have no idea what is behind a person's behavior and attitude, love her because you don't know. So many difficult people have histories of abuse and neglect, mental illness, and physical challenges we can't possibly know or understand. Becauseyou don't know, give them the benefit of the doubt and treat them respectfully. Behaving in a respectful way is different from actually respecting someone. Think about it.

Though you may never find a way to like your difficult customers or colleagues, if you allow yourself to love them, you'll find it a lot easier to be compassionate, respectful and considerate when responding to irrational complaints, requests, and behavior.

Sarah Elkins is a professional coach and consultant, helping people and businesses improve their communication through the art of storytelling. She's also the President of Elkins Consulting, the company making a splash with small, face-to-face, affordable interactive conferences called No Longer Virtual.