Law Proposed To Eliminate “Evil”

Lamar Dewackle, a Republican Representative from Texas, has had enough of mass shootings in America, and he’s going to do something about it!

Dewackle is proposing a law that would “address a major problem with innovative thinking.” He spoke to The Lint Screen about his revolutionary idea.

“After that awful killing of 26 churchgoers on Sunday, I about had my fill,” the craggy-faced lawmaker said. “There ain’t nothing can be done about mass shootings except nip that problem right square in the bud — we got to stop evil dead in its tracks!”

To do that, Rep. Dewackle proposes stiff legislation that would make evil a crime. “If we got rid of evil, I believe there’d be no more mass shootings,” the lawmaker said, as he cleaned his AR-15 assault rifle. “Evil ruins everything, this I believe!”

When asked about gun control, the politician bristled. “Gun control is unAmerican. If everyone in that church had been packing, which is why so many states allow guns in church, the death toll would have been much lower. No, guns ain’t the problem here — evil is the problem. And I aim to get rid of it!”

Dewackle’s bill is expected to receive unanimous approval, proving Washington can indeed take decisive action to solve major problems!

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Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of ASO Advertising.

He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).