Patrick Scullin

1 year ago · 3 min. reading time · ~10 ·

Patrick blog


Ivanka was everything to Donald Trump, but she’s done with their intimate relationship.

The gossip rags are abuzz with the blockbuster news that ex-first daughter Ivanka Trump has dumped her disgraced twice-impeached ex-president daddy like last Sunday’s garbage.

“I’ve had it with him,” Ivanka tells The Lint Screen. “That orange-faced clown lost to Joe Biden and then was so inept he couldn’t even lead a successful coup to stay in power. He’s a big, fat loser! A two-bit grifter con man. And a lousy kisser.”

The vivacious blonde was very close to her father.

“We had a pretty special thing for a long time,” she confesses. “Daddy always complimented me–– even back when I was in diapers. He’d say, ‘No one fills a Pampers like you, babe.’ Then, he’d pat my butt, wink, and laugh. As I grew up, he showered me with jewels, designer shoes, the latest fashions–- whatever I wanted. And of course, he gave me a great job in the family business. I mean, if he had those dolts Don Jr. and Eric on the payroll, he’d better hire me! We all had lots of perks, tax dodges, money under the table. My father was always my sugar daddy.”

The proud perv ex-prez liked to keep his little girl close to him.

“Daddy took me to first little princess dance,” she says, “and every school social function, including my prom. We went on a lot of romantic dates. Most people thought it was odd– a father being so close with his daughter– but Daddy said he loved spending time with younger women. He was hanging out with that Epstein guy a lot.”

Ivanka said her decision to break relations with her father was not difficult.

“Donald Trump’s not president anymore, so what the hell can he do for me?” she says, shaking her head. “Daddy’s the boss king of Mar-a-Lago––big f-in deal! What’s that going to get me? A slice of ‘beautiful chocolate cake?'” She laughs and tosses back her blonde mane. “And Daddy’s so damn cheap, he wouldn’t even comp the cake. He might give me a five or ten percent discount.”

The ambitious daughter says she has big plans for her post-White House career.

“I’m going to be re-entering New York high society,” she announces. “I know so many New York socialites who have missed me. They will welcome me back with open arms and lots of air kisses. I’ll be the belle of Manhattan before you know it. New York City loves all things Trump, especially when they look fantastic like me.”

Ivanka has no remorse about leaving her father behind.

“He still has that witch Melania,” she says. “She’s on his payroll, but I’m going to cash in on my incredible popularity and celebrity. Absolutely everyone loves Ivanka. I’m a bigger brand than Donald Trump ever was!”


Read PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous ride across America with a circus in the early ’80s. This book has earned 100% 5-Star reviews on Amazon. Act now and save during pandemic pricing. You’re a click away from a fun, unforgettable ride. Buckle up and go.



Articles from Patrick Scullin

View blog
4 months ago · 2 min. reading time

Sen. Lindsey Graham lectures women about sex education. · Leave it to Lindsey! · The self-righteous ...

5 months ago · 2 min. reading time

How could any idiot mistake these for “fan letters?” · Oh, that Donald J. Trump! · Since The Justice ...

5 months ago · 3 min. reading time

Trump defenders are outraged by the FBI confiscating secret documents from Mar-a-Lago · Disgraced tw ...

You may be interested in these jobs

  • O'Mally Management Group

    Overnight Health Unit Coordinator

    Found in: Jooble US - 3 days ago

    O'Mally Management Group Tyler, TX

    About Hospitality Health ER Hospitality Health ER is a freestanding ER in Tyler, TX. We have an immediate need for Full-Time and PRN (as needed) Overnight Health Unit Coordinators (HUC) . We pride ourselves on providing exceptional hospitality and customer service to everyone t ...

  • Charleston County School District

    22-23 SY- Budget Specialist

    Found in: beBee S2 US - 1 week ago

    Charleston County School District Charleston OTHER

    Position Type: · Support Staff/Budget Specialist · Date Posted: · 11/18/2022 · Location: · Expanded Learning Office · Closing Date: · Until filled · Job Shift: 8:00am -5:00pm · Position Control No.: 10710201 · FTE: 1.0 · Assignment Type: Full time · CLASSIFIED HOURLY RATE: · $2 ...

  • Toppers Pizza - LaCrosse

    Pizza Making CREW

    Found in: Jooble US - 6 days ago

    Toppers Pizza - LaCrosse La Crosse, WI Full time, Part time

    Description · HIRING BONUS AFTER 90 DAY* Toppers Pizza is committed to creating a diverse work environment and is proud to be an equal opportunity employer. Toppers recruits, employs, trains, compensates and promotes regardless of race, color, religion, sex, gender identity, pre ...