PD Scullin

4 years ago · 1 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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Inside The Mind of General Kelly

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Using a new innovative technology, The Lint Screen has developed a device with the ability to read the minds of mortals.

We hacked the skull of General Kelly, the newly-appointed White House Chief of Staff, as he listened to President Trump’s comments on Charlottesville Tuesday. Here is a brief sampling of his thoughts:

“No… no… don’t say that… no… NO!!!…
Good God, what are you doing???
Please, please, please, for once in your life, shut your pie hole!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have any idea what you’re talking about???
Stop, please, stop now, I beg of you…

I blame myself, what kind of an idiot knowingly steps on a land mine? Hell, does a tap dance on a land mine! What was I thinking accepting this position?

Breathe, John. Breathe! Relax. He has to shut up soon…
No. Nope. No such luck. The man is incapable of silence. Unbelievable.

War — I need a war to fight to take my mind off this insanity.
A good war would be so nice. War is predictable, rational. War makes sense. I wish I was in a nice war instead of here…

WHAT????!!!
No, no, no, what the hell are you doing???!!!!!!” Stop!

And, scene.

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Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of ASO Advertising.

He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).


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Comments

Lyon Brave

4 years ago #3

#5
of course america needs the United Nations and to be regulated.

Jim Murray

4 years ago #2

#1
Nice try dude, and I agree the bullshit has to stop. What Trump supporters neglect to acknowledge, in all their reluctance to just admit they backed the wrong horse, is that he is not trying to do his best because he has a disease called chronic narcissism, which means he can only do what's best for himself. This in turn means, he is incapable of actually caring for the people he was elected to serve. I am so sick of Trump supporters posting comments just like yours. All it means it that your myopia on this subject is severe. I have no dog at all in this fight, because I am Canadian. What I see from the outside is complete insanity, total incompetence, egomania off the charts, chronic self-aggrandizement, and the slow but sure erosion of support in both houses of your government. This situation will get worse before it gets better, because while a relatively small minority support him, the vast majority now think he's out to lunch. And frankly if you, as a president, don't have the support of the people in America you have nothing. Yeah, he sold the country on change. But he's a hustler and you all got hustled.

Jim Murray

4 years ago #1

That's about right.

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