John White, MBA

7 years ago · 2 min. reading time · ~10 ·

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Here's What I Didn't Post on Social Media This Week

Here's What I Didn't Post on Social Media This Week

Here's What I Didn't Post on Social Media This Week


We are all one big happy family. Life is always just peachy keen. Or so it would seem through the lens of social media. Social media has become our personal highlight reels of our lives where we share the top moments. You see social media is great at capturing moments. People post their absolute best photos, their vacations, new cars, when they win, their kids' top achievements, and when they get new gadgets. In their blogs, they generally write about their top insights and their triumphs in business. But what we don't see is the behind the scenes process that led to that shareable moment. We don't see what happened five minutes before or thereafter.

Only seeing the highlight reel gives people a narrow utopian view of other's lives that can give a false impression that everything in other people's lives is perfect, and it is only them who has problems.  Whether we do so consciously or subconsciously there is a tendency for people to judge themselves based off what they see their peers posting on social media.

This can cause people to second guess themselves regarding their appearance, professional prowess, intelligence, marriages, and even their personal happiness. Studies show that this false view of the world can cause depression, anxiety, and feelings of self-doubt. This phenomenon is compounded by the tendency for people follow celebrities on social media who project fantasy lifestyles of glitz and glamor that are unattainable for most.

My life is indeed pretty great and I have a lot to be thankful for, including a beautiful wife, lovely home, and two adorable daughters. However, there is far more to my life than the highlight reel that I put out for public view on social media.

For this post, I thought I'd attempt to do something different and share a few recent moments in my life that didn't make my social media highlight reel:

  • I forgot my daughter's water bottle at soccer practice the other day and had to run home to get it. She didn't have anything to drink for the first 15-20 minutes of practice.
  • While I love what I am doing professionally these days with this blogging and social media gig that I have started, opening a startup company has caused money to be tight. Daycare is expensive!I didn't hit my revenue target last month, so we had to pull my daughter out of after school care. I am now the after school daycare. 
  • My two-year-old daughter is sick right now with a horrible cough and fever. She has been keeping us up at night. We brought her into the bed with us the other night. She rolls around a lot and I was the lucky recipient of a karate kick to the head at 2:30 am.
  • My wife and I were supposed to go back to Mexico for our ten year anniversary last month. But because money is tight, instead, we settled for a babysitter and a dinner out at a Mexican restaurant in the town we live in.
  • I went to the gym the other day and ended up working on my phone the entire time. Before I realized it and looked up, it was time to go.
  • Last week, I forgot about garbage day. Huge husband failure. This is a problem when you still have a kid that is in diapers. #PU
  • The other day, I had a weak moment, broke my diet, and pigged out on Halloween candy. I love Snickers.
  • I've spent the majority of my career working for global tech companies in positions that included a cushy salary, benefits, 401K, etc. This whole being an entrepreneur thing has me scared to death.
  • It's been six years since my dad passed away, and I still haven't gotten over it. His birthday is coming up. I miss him.
  • My wife recently busted me waking up in the middle of the night to check my phone for updates on my blogs, client's social media accounts, etc. She wasn't amused.

I’m not advocating that you turn into a “Negative Nancy” on social media. Your followers won’t appreciate that. However, what I would like you to keep in mind is that not everything in life will make the highlight reel that is social media and that is OK. So the next time you are on social media and you are viewing the happy little photos of an old friend. Remember! What you didn't see were the ones that turned out blurry, when nobody was smiling, the lighting was wrong, or when the weather sucked. Stay true to yourself. Doing so will empower you to enjoy the highlights in your life that much more.

Now, I will turn it over to you. Is there anything that happened in your life that didn't make your social media highlight reel that you'd like to share? Come on, it is quite cathartic! You might just help someone who is having a bad day that is checking social media reading about everyone's great day realize that they aren't alone in having a bad day or even just a plain ole ordinary day.

Originally published on The Good Men Project. Republished with permission.

About the Author: John White is a recovering 13-year veteran of the wireless industry, current owner and chief marketer at Social Marketing Solutions, Brand Ambassador for a new affinity-based social media network with 10.6 called 

beBee

, and contributing writer to The Good Men ProjectDice Insights, and the Social Marketing Blog. When he is not blogging or Tweeting, John enjoys being a dad, playing tennis, and eating Mexican food. Call or text me: 970-692-3270.

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Comments

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #18

#28
I just wrote one thanks to John White, MBA. This blog gave me the courage!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #17

#22
I think an occasional post like this is necessary Ken Boddie and I for one, would never feel as though someone was attention seeking. In one way or another we can all relate because life is not always blooming with roses. ;-)

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #16

John White, MBA, so glad I found this! I have to admit, you are so correct. In some way the snapshots of all the happy/happy stuff can cause people to feel as though they are failures or feel envious. My daughter stopped using social media for quite a period of time in her early to mid 20's because she wasn't feeling her best, although many would have never known because she always has a smile on her face and is kind to all she meets and associates with. But seeing so many people appearing to enjoy every aspect of life caused her to feel even more down. I'm sorry your daughter was ill, I hope she is better now? I remember those tough nights with babies and toddlers . I remember going to work in the morning so sleep deprived I would think, I hope someone pisses me off today- that was warped. No worries, I never went off on anyone. So much of what you wrote reminds us how tough life can be for many. I'm sending good thoughts your way for some things to look up and hoping soon life will get a bit easier! Money alone is a big stressor. I will share one thing, I tripped last week and ended up with a 2nd degree sprain in my ankle and across the top of my foot. I have been hobbling since. But, I'm full weight bearing now. I was worried I broke it, still hoping I didn't- but I was told it takes a while to heal from this type of sprain. Good wishes to all, life is not easy!!

Louise Smith

7 years ago #15

Yes John White so you might like this post which is another take on the perfect image of the perfect life that doesn't exist . https://www.bebee.com/producer/@louise-smith-state-of-queensland/social-media-and-depression-by-michael-yapko

John White, MBA

7 years ago #14

Wow, thanks for breathing some new life in this one, folks! I enjoyed reading the new comments.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #13

Thanks for sharing your domestic bliss, John White, MBA. I can relate to much of this. Perhaps we should take a leaf out of the musician's handbook and occasionally write (instead of singing) the blues? ✍🏻

don kerr

7 years ago #12

John White, MBA one of your best. True. So, so true. If you get a moment drop by ridingshotgun.squarespace.com. That's where my truth and full picture emerge.

John White, MBA

7 years ago #11

#15
Aaron Skogen thank you very much for sharing this. I hope that doing so was cathartic.

Cyndi wilkins

7 years ago #10

#12
Well, truth be told , Micky D's was the kids idea...Yep, I'll throw her under the bus for that! I guess that's what I get for taking her there in the first place... Perhaps the snarky kid was the message from the universe saying, "What the hell are you doing here?" Oh dear...Did I just tell the universe to F off? OY...I'm really in trouble now;-) LOL

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #9

John White, MBA, this is a great piece -- of honesty. One of the things I've tried to explain to my teenage daughters when they've complained about how their lives suck in relation to everyone else's, is that what they see as "everyone else's life" on social media isn't real, or at least it isn't the entire picture -- that everyone faces, day to day, all forms of trials and tribulations that they choose not to share with the world. Your piece is a fine antidote for that kind of malaise. Cheers!

John White, MBA

7 years ago #8

The problem I am having is that I've had a good run lately at life. So far, 2016 has been a good one. I've stopped posting on Facebook, because when I share a good moment or a win in business it feels like I am bragging. I actually had a guy that I went to high school with me tell me I needed to get off my high horse and that he wasn't impressed by my blogs or fancy masters degree. It was a slap to the face considering how hard I've worked. He has no idea of the behind the scenes hard work I've put in. To keep it real, maybe I should have shared more moments of me awake in at 1am still in front of laptop? Or maybe, I should have posted about the panic attacks I had due to stress last year. His comments stung a bit. As I pondered his comments, I considered closing my Facebook account. I still might...lol

John White, MBA

7 years ago #7

#8
Cyndi wilkins: It's hard not to get that way when the snarkiness is directed towards our kids. Thanks for sharing that and I might have done something way worse! Ha, ha.

Cyndi wilkins

7 years ago #6

Dear John, It has been forever since my last confession...OK...Here goes...I was in McDonalds the other day, (I know,YUCK! Don't judge;) with my twelve year old daughter when some obnoxious kid made a snarky gesture in our direction...Under my breath I gave him an F off sh*thead...Yep...I did it...wouldn't have been so bad had my daughter not heard me...Oooops! Mom's aren't supposed to say such things in front of their children:-0 Twenty lashes!

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

7 years ago #5

John White, MBA . People post happy moments of their life and don’t realise that if someone thought that all is okay who would know when something’s wrong and yes everyone’s life isn’t prefect. I could be an example of this , when my dad passed I avoided Facebook for a while. After a week many friends upset; said they did’nt know and some knew through other’s and when I wrote a post on how much I was missing him on facebook. I guess people don’t share their unpleasant moment’s for various reason’s and I don’t know if we can justify that as yet, but I would at least love to know if they were OK. Let’s say incase there’s a flood or an earthquake or they needed some help that I could offer and if they needed moral support. In my case I preferred spending time alone with my family, so it’s debatable. This is my view. BTW I loved reading the buzz.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

7 years ago #4

John White, MBA . People post happy moments of their life and don’t realise that if someone thought that all is okay who would know when something’s wrong, so yes everyone’s life isn’t prefect. I could be an example of this , when my dad passed I avoided Facebook for a while. After a week many friends upset; said they did’nt know and some knew through other’s and when I wrote a post on how much I was missing him on facebook. I guess people don’t share their unpleasant moment’s for various reason’s and I don’t know if we can justify that as yet, but I would at least love to know if they were OK. Let’s say incase there’s a flood or an earthquake or they needed some help that I could offer and if they needed moral support. In my case I preferred spending time alone with my family, so it’s debatable. This is my view. BTW I loved reading the buzz.

Qamar Ali Khan

7 years ago #3

This is a completely change perspective, focusing on the importance of your other life activities. great post John White, MBA!

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #2

Love the candor in this post John White, MBA. The beauty of networking (and sites such as beBee) is that a broken bunch of human beings can learn from each other, celebrate the wins and mourn the losses, as a community. It's not about image, but community. (and I fully understand the Snickers thing... I could have sworn there was a full box of Girl Guide cookies in my desk drawer yesterday)

Chris Spurvey

7 years ago #1

Classic John White, MBA! I wrote a post just this morning that tells the world I told my son to "get the f___ out of the shower and into the Jeep" oh and yesterday I told my daughter "If I see you looking at that god dam phone one more time while I am talking to you I am going to take it, throw it on the ground and stamp it to bits'. I am not very proud of those things. But, hey I am human. The phone just rang. It was a counsellor. I have anger management issues to deal with. ;) jk. well actually no I am not kidding. :)

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