“Guess Nuclear Code Game” Played With Russians

President Trump is a gracious host — he invented a new parlor game when he hosted Russian bigwigs last week.

White House officials confirmed with The Lint Screen the president asked Russian foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov, and the U.S. Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, to “Guess our nuclear code.” He reportedly looked in his wallet, took out his “nuclear code cheat sheet” and copied the code on a notepad. “I’m pressing the pen extra hard because I don’t want to forget it,” he told his borscht-breathed guests.

He tore the sheet off the notepad, folded it and held it to his head. “Go on, guess our nuclear code!” Lavrov and Kislyak smiled as they guessed random numbers and letters. “Nope, wrong!” said a delighted Trump. “Try again!”

The Russians continued guessing as the president chided them. “You’re cold as a Ukranian winter, fellas. Keep guessing!” The game continued for twenty minutes.

Finally, Trump tired of his game. “Sorry, guys, but your guesses are getting a little too close for comfort. To keep our nuclear code secret — because it is secret, very very secret — fantastically secret nuclear code, I am going to toss this piece of paper in the trash.”

With that, Trump crumpled the sheet into a ball and shot it toward his trash can. “Nothing but net,” he said, pleased he’d made the shot. His Russian guests applauded his incredible basketball skills.

There were another two minutes of breezy conversation, mostly about what a great job the president is doing and the enormity of his inauguration crowds and the Russians left the oval office.

The president then commanded his secretary to bring him a new notepad. “And hurry Becky — I had a pad on my desk a minute ago. I need to make notes. I’m the president, you know.”

############################################

Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of Ames Scullin O’Haire Advertising (ASO).

He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).