GOP Re-Branding Tax Cut Bill

Republicans need a win in Washington, and they are hoping their new tax-cutting legislation is the Hail Mary for victory.

Unfortunately, like their various health care bills, it is not popular with voters. Only 36% of voters approve of giving tax cuts to rich people, golf course owners, and large corporations, while many middle and lower income citizens will pay more in taxes.

“Our legislation gives tax breaks to job creators, and the wealth will trickle down all over commoners,” Georgia Rep. “Skeeter” Wessop told The Lint Screen. “It’s a great plan for stimulating the U.S. economy and should be much more popular with the masses. We obviously have a branding problem.”

The lawmaker continued as he wagged a finger. “The president wanted to call it ‘the Cut Cut Cut Tax Plan,’ but we thought that would be too hard to remember. So we’ve changed it to ‘the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act’ because those are two things that everyone should support. But, apparently that’s not getting enough traction in the marketplace, so we’re spitballing some new names.”

Rep. “Skeeter” showed some of the potential new names.

“The Big Tax Cuts And Better Sex Life Plan.”
“The Tax Cuttery Plan.”
“The Massive Tax Cuts & Live A Much Longer Life Plan.”
“The Tax Cuts, Etc. Plan.”
“The Huge Tax Cuts & Lose Weight Plan.”
“The ‘I-Can’t-Believe-How-Low-My-Taxes-Are!’ Plan.”
“The Tax Slasher Plan.”
“The Much Lower Taxes & Really High Paying Jobs Plan.”

The congressman swelled with pride. “We think we have some really good names here, and we’re going to take them to focus groups and pick a winner. We’re still waiting to hear back from the Koch Brothers and Mercer family for their favorites.”

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Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of ASO Advertising.

He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).