GOP Proposes New & Improved Healthcare Bill

But, it’s not over yet, The Lint Screen has learned.

After conferring behind closed doors, Speaker of The House Paul Ryan introduced new legislation called “The Tremendous Healthcare Plan For All Americans Act.”

The bill promises all Americans “terrific healthcare and medical attention second to none. The best!” In the plan, the entire country will receive all its healthcare provided by President Trump’s personal physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein.

“We heard America loud and clear,” said Speaker Ryan. “Americans want tremendous coverage and low costs. And with our new and improved plan, they’ll get it! By centralizing all medical procedures with one high-skilled, first-rate expert physician, we’ll be able to deliver consistent healthcare to every citizen in an efficient and affordable manner.”

The Speaker smiled and said he had to rush to the Congressional floor to lead the voting on the new proposed legislation.

You’re all better now, America!

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Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of Ames Scullin O’Haire Advertising (ASO).

He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen(satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).