Distraction Can Be the Perfect Gift

As we walked into the restaurant and the host seated us, I noticed at least three other restaurant customers glare toward us and our table. After more than 15 years in the restaurant industry, I knew exactly what the scowls were about:

People make late reservations for dinner so they can avoid sitting with screaming, bratty, entitled kids in a fancy restaurant.

The host placed coloring paper and crayons in front of the boys as we were settling into our seats. Within moments of taking our seats, our server put down a small plate of fresh, beautiful veggies and a small bowl of ranch dressing in front of each of the boys. When we ordered, a complementary artichoke hors d'oeuvre was delivered to the table for the adults (but our oldest son ate most of it.) When the boys had done some damage to the vegetable plates, before I even noticed them stop eating, a basket of handmade breadsticks was on the table within their reach. As our younger son finished coloring his paper, the server discretely put another coloring page in front of him. She didn’t miss a beat.

Our boys are absurdly well-behaved, but having a server who is observant and ready with distraction and kindness makes it a lot easier to pull off a fabulous dinner. As the two boys stared wide-eyed at the blue flame flowing down an orange peel to a marshmallow topped orange dessert, toasting the topping and sending the camp-fire fragrance through the restaurant, one of the glaring patrons came to our table and touched my shoulder. With a hesitant but genuine smile, she said “excuse me. I want you to know what a pleasure it was to dine beside your family this evening. Your children are so well-behaved and polite.” Is there a better compliment for a parent? I don't think so.

There were times when our boys were little, when I wanted to go out to eat but didn't; I knew they were too tired or fussy and would have been disruptive to other guests. We made the conscious decision to only bring our children to dinner in a restaurant when we were sure they could handle it. People make late night reservations to avoid families; it’s inconsiderate to bring children to a nice restaurant if they are tired, fussy, or just don’t have the social skills to enjoy a quiet evening.

Our server that night was fantastic, and we acknowledged that the service was above and beyond not only by tipping her more than 20%, we let the manager know how much we appreciated her service. There were times when our boys were little, that servers couldn't - or didn't - provide that kind of service. That's why we always had either a quiet game (Bananagrams is a wonderful table top game), or coloring books & crayons, anything quiet to help distract our children when we were out to eat.

Distraction is a Powerful Tool

With children and adults, this tool can be used to de-escalate a situation and to disarm an angry customer or employee. Watch people for signs of boredom or frustration. Be prepared with a distraction or two; I always have treats at my desk like chocolate or pretzels. Offering a snack, water, or coffee, can be just enough of an interruption to change the direction and tone of a conversation. Who knows? Maybe a coloring book sitting on the table in your office would offer a good and humorous distraction? Make sure you get back to the point soon, or distraction will look like avoidance and evasion.

Have you used distraction as a tool to calm an angry customer -- or child? I'd love to hear your story in the comments below!

Creating an agenda and looking for ideas for your next conference? Contact me to talk about how Elkins Consulting can help select speakers and break-out session facilitators who will work together to create a cohesive agenda with clear learning outcomes for your guests!