Conversations With My Wife About My Writing
Some Discussions Are Humbling
It's always seemed to me the the ultimate test of engagement is stand-up comedy. The distilled wit, the elicited imagery, and the delivery all have to be just right if it's to work. And I've always wondered if one could replicate the experience using the medium of the written, as opposed to the spoken word. So, for better or worse, here follows an experiment that is admittedly somewhat self-indulgent, but which I hope you'll find entertaining...
I've been writing professionally for a long time. Sometimes for pretty good pay, sometimes for not so good pay. Either way, it's always involved the input of a lot of time and effort. So much so that my wife and daughters have, at times, bridled at my being constantly distracted, always walking around in a kind of thought-induced daze, and paying little genuine attention to what they were doing or saying. Being a kind of absent-minded professor — which I actually was in an earlier life.
As a result, my wife and I have, from time to time, had some far too candid conversations about my writing activities and would-be career.
For example, we were out one evening walking with our two dogs, when I told her I really needed to get back home to do some writing...
She said snarkily, "Why don't you try writing a few checks, for a change."
Abashed, I told her I really thought I just needed to find some inspiration...
She replied, "How about settling for some perspiration in a paying job?"
So, I told her I didn't think that kind of sarcasm was funny...
And she said, "Neither is your writing."
Which I have to tell you kinda got to me, so I pointed out I really didn't appreciate her making those kinds of jokes at my expense..
To which she replied, "Well, I'd be happy to make them for free."
But I don't want to give you the wrong impression... We weren't always at odds over my writing...
When I first started out as an aspiring wordsmith, I carried in my pocket at all times a 3x5 index card for recording great ideas as they came to me...
Unfortunately, a couple of decades later, the card was still blank.
Of course, part of that is because I moved on to using a mini voice recorder, then more recently an iPhone to keep track of my insights...
However, I gave that up, as well... when Siri kept telling me to STFU.
On the positive side, I truly believe I owe a lot of my writing development to the edgy tension between my wife and me about it...
She replied that all my ideas grate on her.
So, I tried to tell her maybe I just needed some mental stimulation…
She suggested a Taser.
I told her she wasn’t fooling me, that I knew she actually had a heart of gold...
But she replied, “Not any more. I had to hock it, to pay for groceries.”
Still, I can say I would not have wanted it any other way... At least, I think not...
Once during a quieter moment, I said to my wife, "You know, the things you say about my writing really aren't funny...
But she replied, “That’s been my line all these years.”
Exasperated, I told her our conversation really wasn’t going anywhere…
She just chuckled derisively and said, “Yeah, just like your writing career.”
Author's Notes: This post is kind of special for me, as I am using it to kick off a new direction in my writing odyssey. As a professional writer, editor, university educator, and speaker, with more than 1,000 print and digital publications, I've recently launched an online program for enhancing the impact of your expository writing: Learn to Engage — With Confidence. My mission is to help writers and would-be writers improve the clarity of their thought and writing, master the logic of discussion, and strengthen their ability to deal confidently with criticism and disagreement. For more information, you can go to www.learn2engage.org or email info@learn2engage.org.
If you'd like to sample more of what I've written, here are three of my more popular posts.
"Three Points of Advice to My Teenage Daughter"
"Conversation Isn't Just Waiting Politely to Speak"
"Why Executive Management Doesn't Get Bad News Until It's Too Late to Do Anything About It"
If you'd like to receive notifications of my writings on a regular basis, click the [FOLLOW] button on my beBee profile.
As a writer-friend of mine says, you can always change your mind later.
Feel free to "like" and "share" this post and my other LinkedIn articles — whether on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, or Google+. I ask only that you credit me properly as the author, and include a live link to the original work.
About me, Phil Friedman: With 30 some years background in the marine industry, I've worn numerous hats — as a yacht designer, boatbuilder, marine operations and business manager, marine industry consultant, marine marketing and communications specialist, yachting magazine writer and editor, yacht surveyor, and marine industry educator. I am also trained and experienced in interest-based negotiation and mediation. In a previous life, I taught logic and philosophy at university.
Text Copyright © 2016 by Phil Friedman — All Rights Reserved
Images Credits: the Author, Stuart Miles @ FreeDigitalPhotos.net, and Google Images
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Comments
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #30
You know, Paul, I can identify the "writers" out there -- at least the male, married ones, and sometimes the female married ones -- by how strongly they identify with this Catskills-style comedy piece. I like to think that it captures some of our struggle to be "understood". Good luck with that, buddy. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. And cheers!
Paul Walters
7 years ago #29
Kevin Pashuk
7 years ago #28
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #27
Thank you. Mohammed,, for the kind words. This is humor that kills cats.
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #26
Thanks for saying so, Fatima. Cheers
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #25
Mohammed Abdul Jawad
7 years ago #24
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
7 years ago #23
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
7 years ago #22
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #21
At least one, for sure ...
Ian Weinberg
7 years ago #20
Gert Scholtz
7 years ago #19
Mamen 🐝 Delgado
7 years ago #18
Jim Murray
7 years ago #17
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #16
@ Kevin Pashuk - I like this piece a lot. Because it resonates, I think, with an undertone of truth. But I am only the straight man in the scenario. Cheers!
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #15
Thank you , for sharing, and for reading and commenting. Pleased that you felt the good humor in this piece. Cheers!
Kevin Pashuk
7 years ago #14
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #13
Randy Keho
7 years ago #12
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #11
Gert Scholtz, thanks for taking the time to say so. Cheers!
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #10
Thank you Fatima Williams, for taking the time to read and comment. I am especially pleased that it brought some humor into your life. For on social media, we all tend to be too serious, or rather self-serious at times. Cheers!
Gert Scholtz
7 years ago #9
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
7 years ago #8
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #7
John White, MBA
7 years ago #6
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #5
Thanks Mike Restivo, for reading and commenting. Always a pleasure to hear from you... warped sense of humor and all. :-)
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #4
Thank, Jim Murray, but logically, while not liking it would make you a dork, liking it doesn't mean you're not. Just pointing that out for fun. Thank you for the kind words. Cheers!
Jim Murray
7 years ago #3
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #2
Thanks, Juan Imaz, for reading and letting me know that it brought a chuckle. That is what makes the effort worthwhile. Cheers!
Phil Friedman
7 years ago #1
Thanks, Mike Restivo, for reading and commenting. Cheers!